Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

Laura Berman Fortgang

Now What? Q &A-Is it the right time to start the program?

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Today’s question is one that is often asked by our readers and is answered by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor.                                                                                                                                        

Question:

How do I know if this is the right time for me to start the Now What?® program?

Answer:

Here are some examples of other people who considered the same question of when to start.  Perhaps you can relate to them:                       

Norah, a Benefits Manager in Seattle Washington, was eager to look at her career options and had given herself a deadline for deciding whether to stay on the same path or try something new.  She was happy to find the Now What?® program but wondered about being able to devote the time and energy it would require as she was also working on other goals:  delegating more at work, organizing her home and office, and reducing what she called a “state of clutter”.  Norah’s instinct told her that her hesitation had more to do with her habit of procrastinating as well as some jitters about anticipated changes that might result from this work.  She decided to go ahead and begin the program with my reassurance that she could give herself permission to adjust the pace if needed.  Norah was pleased to discover that the first trio of chapters in Now What?® are about moving through “blocks to clarity” and this supported her goal to reduce clutter.  Reaching the midpoint of the program, Norah had made significant discoveries about what makes her unique and what brings purpose and meaning to her work.  She is now looking forward to researching potential fields of interest however has decided to take a break before completing the second half of the program, so that she can focus exclusively on specific health issues that need to be addressed.  For Norah, this is the right decision at this time.

Mark, a software analyst, tells me that he’s had the Now What?® book for a few years and while he’s made some discoveries on his own, he is ready to go deeper by working with a coach.  Mark thinks he’s allowed the status quo for too long and now feels a sense of urgency to first identify and then make the changes that will bring him greater fulfillment in his career and allow him to spend more time with his family.

When Anita, an IT professional, first began the Now What?® program two years ago she had a dual strategy of: 1) finding a new job as soon as possible so that she could leave a stress-filled work environment and 2) doing the creative soul searching about where she might ultimately want to take her career.  Anita has since changed jobs and is working in a much better environment.  She is also pursuing a variety of interests outside work that are bringing her much enjoyment.  Anita comments that she only wishes she had started the Now What?® program sooner and advises others not to wait.

Only you can say when it’s the right time to invest your energy in making a change.  While it’s important to check your commitment level and be willing to make some time for the work, it is not necessary (or possible) to wait for all the ducks to be in a row.  The bottom line is that if you are drawn to this work, then pay attention to that inkling and take a step to find out more.  Pick up the book, take the quiz, talk to one of our coaches, or sign up for the The Now What?® Newsletter and come to the next community call hosted by Laura.  What is telling you that it’s the right time to move forward?

What Language Do You Speak?

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

Spanish? French? Arabic? German?  Those are not the languages I am looking for when I ask what language do you speak?  I am wondering if you up-language or down-language when you write or speak about yourself.  By that, I mean do you undersell, oversell or get it just right?

Whether you are marketing yourself as a business owner or a job candidate, the use of words is critical to your success.

I have had the recent pleasure of working with a director-level job candidate who exemplified the power of our choice of language.

Her resume read like a younger person with less experience than she really was.  The language was underselling her accomplishments and despite almost fifteen years in her industry, her resume read like that of a young hopeful.

She reworked the language to be more powerful and to better exemplify her solid experience.  Entries like  “Established a ____” became “Maintained full responsibility for ____”.  And  “Implemented _____” became “Pioneered the implementation of ____”.

It was no surprise that interview opportunities started to show up more readily once the changes were made.

Your word choices are colored by how you see yourself.  Are you afraid of bragging? Do you lack confidence in your accomplishments?  On the other extreme, do you embellish the truth too much?  Finding the right balance is key.  A strong self-image is important as long as you can wear ‘the suit’ you carry yourself in well.

Try this:  Have someone read your website, business brochure or resume out loud to you.  Then, answer these questions:

  • How did it feel to hear the language used in your materials?
  • If it was hard to listen to, why do you think that is?
  • Could the documents use some toning down or some ‘up-languaging’?

Before you change anything, have your buddy listen to you reading it.  Get their opinion of your answers to the above and make some changes accordingly.

If your language needs upgrading, be aware that you’ll need to practice saying those words in a mirror or mock interviews to get comfortable wearing them.  If you over embellished, practice being more truthful and know you are enough as you are.  Finally, become very conscious of what you say and please, choose to speak the language of success.

What “I Don’t Know” Really Means

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

“But I don’t know what I want to do!”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know!”

“If only I knew what ‘IT’ was that I was supposed to do!”

I’ve heard all of these statements and more from seminar participants and clients. That overwhelming, anxiety-producing, adrenaline rush bordering on despair, which only someone searching for their next steps can feel. It’s very real, but experience has shown me that it is also grossly misinterpreted.

Sure, sometimes there really is not even an inkling of clarity and that usually requires more down time and stillness to get a spark to come. But for most people, I find that “I don’t know” really means “ I am too afraid to admit it”. You see, somewhere deep inside and maybe secretly expressed, is a dream, a wish, an inkling of an idea that is just too scary to admit. If you do recognize that you have a germ of a direction that interests you, then you may have to take action on it. You may have to be held accountable. You may have to give up life as you know it (suffering and all) to have it. That is HUGELY scary.

I find that “I don’t know” is a knee-jerk reaction to avoid the pain of the truth. “I don’t know” is like a shot of whiskey that keeps you numb and causes procrastination to persist. It amuses your friends or wears them out, but it serves the purpose of avoiding change.

I remember a participant at my Kripalu seminar one year who amused the whole class with her giddy repetition of the ‘I don’t know’ mantra until I finally asked her to take a deep breath and stop laughing when she said she did not know. She sobered up and once out of her adrenaline high could not longer repeat the phrase. I asked her to seriously tell us what little bit of clarity she already had about her career direction. She tried to fly off into giddiness again but I did not let her. Out it came. She admitted that she wanted to start her own business. Her husband, who was sitting next to her, instantly piped in and said: “She’s known that for years but she always has an excuse as to why she can’t do it.”

Busted! She spent the rest of the retreat weekend coming up with a plan instead of playing her ‘less than’ role of a giddy, flaky woman who did not know what she wanted.

What about you? What truths are you covering up with “I don’t know’s”? Put pen to paper and write down the truths you may be too afraid to face.

If you need a kick in the pants to do it, contact one of our facilitators or join me for the Kripalu retreat on April 29th- May 1st.

I don’t believe you don’t know. I believe you are just too scared to admit it. Tell the truth and take action. The world needs what you are afraid of doing.

CUT OUT THE MIDDLE STEP

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

Four years ago, at a bookstore event, a woman asked a question about a career strategy she was hatching.  Her goal was to become a global director for the multinational company she worked for.  Her question was about her next move to attain an interim position that would get her to her goal.  Immediately, I realized she did not want that interim step but it was what she thought was necessary to get what she wanted. I recommended just going for what she really wanted instead.

I never heard from her again until a few weeks ago. She told me she had been holding that global director position since shortly after she asked that question.

Another woman had come to get some short-term coaching to confirm she had made the right career choice for herself. She was in a pharmacist’s training school.  Once we got to work it was clear that being a pharmacist was not what the woman wanted at all!  She chose that field because she felt it had job security and she could build a good financial future for herself. The truth was she was miserable and hated every minute of it.  She wanted a strong financial future, not a pharmacist’s life.

Both these women and countless others, male and female, mistakenly put a middle step between where they are and where they want to go.  Every path we take in life has its stepping stones.  No one is going to get a driver’s license and then fly an airplane.  You’d need flying lessons and getting the required hours before getting in the air.  However, there are other life steps or career steps that are not necessary but rather, mere creations of our own mistaken rules for accomplishment.

If you hear yourself thinking:  “ I need to do x to get y” think again.  Take out the ‘x’ and re-examine your strategy.  The truth is “I want Y”. The question is ‘how do I get that?’.  That is what should form your strategy.

Life will tell you if there is indeed an interim step you need, you don’t need to make more work for yourself. Take out the middle step and see how you springboard into opportunity.

REINVENTION: LESS ABOUT ADDITION AND MORE ABOUT SUBTRACTION

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

We are clearly in the Age of Reinvention. So many industries are doing complete makeovers of themselves and some are even disappearing.  The result: Those wanting to stay or become employed have to reinvent right alongside this trend or be closed out or left behind.

Publishing, automotive, retail, advertising, manufacturing.  These are just a few of the sectors that are being rethought completely. So, whether you are an executive or a line worker, things are changing and so must you.

The tendency is to think you must be more or do more or add a missing skill or edge to keep yourself in the running in this job market.  In some cases, that is true. Maybe there is a degree or a certification that has to happen, but the truth is, the next step for most people who need to reinvent is to subtract something from their approach.  It’s not about adding. It’s about subtracting!  Subtracting what’s in the way of what really lights you up. Maybe it’s even more accurate to say, while you do your math, reinvention is about borrowing….from the past.

The reinvention formula seems to be, based on our collective research and experience at Now What?® Coaching, as follows:

The PRESENT-THE DEAD WEIGHT + SOME Marginalized Passion,talent or wish from the past= NEW MOMENTUM/ANSWER TO REINVENTION

Becoming a chef after years of ignoring that passion as an unhappy lawyer ,opening a chocolate shop after being laid off from a ‘secure’ government job  or performing in a musical after being away from it for 17 years to find that the next step is to bring more performance nuance to my speeches.  (YES, my own current reinvention)

These are all examples of listening to the stirrings inside you that have been set aside in the name of logic, conventional wisdom and security.  Those are what need to be subtracted to finally add opportunity, momentum, satisfaction and maybe even joy to your life.  And these will go far to create financial opportunities as well.

Make 2011 the year of your reinvention. Let us know how we can help.

STRETCH TO REACH YOUR DREAMS

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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

It’s that time of year, resolutions and new goals being set to make a leap into a new annum.  A time of reflection and renewed hope.  Nothing new to the person in career  transition .  Renewing hope is a daily, if not weekly occurrence in that case.

 As Rudy Giuliani, the former mayor of New York City, once said, “Change is not a destination, just as hope is not a strategy”.  That statement encapsulates why most people give up on their resolutions and why career transitions can grow hopeless and come to a standstill.  Hoping is not enough. Hope and faith are important elements but they have to be backed up with action.  A LOT of action!

This economic climate can make you want to give up but that does not serve anyone. In fact, now is the time to get outrageous and become so intense in your desire for what you want to achieve that you are willing to do whatever it takes.  Calling people you don’t know.  Sending out more resumes than you thought possible.  Putting yourself in opportunity’s way by creating your own way of doing things.  Trying something entirely new because you can and because it just may work out better than more traditional venues for success.  These times are calling for a big stretch.

Here comes the other potential pitfall. Earlier it was not taking enough action, and now as your willingness to do so is hopefully growing, you have to watch for the deflating possibility of not seeing results.  At least not right away.  If something is not moving in your world despite all your efforts, you need to understand that there is much you cannot see or fathom.  How many drops of water does it take to turn a dry riverbed back into a rushing force of liquid and momentum?  How much digging does it take before you hit gold?  You may quit too early and never know if you stop believing. 

It’s appropriate to take a break and see what the wind whispers as a new strategy.  It’s OK to change direction or to let your dream change form, but .  Stretching to reach your dreams means taking the bigger action and continuing to take them battling any notion that nothing is happening even if the evidence is not immediate.

Energy moves and so keep moving your world by taking smart action.  You are sending a ripple out and you will cause change.  Think of where you’d like to be in December of 2011.  Work your way backward to today envision each milestone you had to hit to be where you want to be at this time next year.  NOW, plan your first step of 2011.  It will be bigger than you’d logically would have come up with. 

Be renewed, be refreshed and keep on reaching for your career dreams.

Based on Chapter 12 of “Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction”, “Following Your Life Blueprint®”.