Laura Berman Fortgang

SUSPENDED REALITY

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 28, 2011

by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

THERE COMES A TIME, in almost every career transition, when clarity comes and a sense of determination kicks in despite every logical reason for it not to. There comes a suspended reality where you almost can’t believe you are moving forward in this new chosen direction yet there is no turning back. A cocoon of reason disintegrates and transforms into a new being that can take flight. It is in this suspended reality that courage comes and doors begin to open without logical explanation as to why.

In the movie, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, the hero must step out into an infinite abyss to get help to his ailing father. With each step out into the nothingness, a rock floor would appear to catch him and allow forward motion towards his goal. That same suspended reality is what it feels like to follow a new direction for your life and career that you know is right but have no evidence or indication of getting the result you want.

How do you do it?

Up The Faith

When you operate in space without a net, where most people in your life think you’ve lost your marbles, you have to believe in your self and the goodness of life in general to make it work. It’s not the time to be a realist. It’s a time to be naïve and assume that everyone and everything will work in your favor. It often will when you become a self-contained, pressurized bottle full of faith.

Follow The Breadcrumbs

When you are researching a new field, trying to find a job or pursuing a specific goal in your new direction, every lead is a hot one. Being in the gap between now and future busyness in your new career, you have the luxury of time. You cannot afford to ignore any possibility that can take you in your new direction. Talking to one person can lead to the next person and so on. You will be amazed at the path that gets laid out in front of you as you diligently walk through every open door.

Keep a Solid Home Base

All this is not to say you should abandon all reason. What allows you to move forward with blind faith and curious tenacity is having a solid home base to operate from. You’ll need at least one person who believes in you when the rest of your posse thinks you’re nuts. If possible, keeping your day job will help too even though you’ll have less time for fact-finding. And if you are in between things, it’s OK, you can still have a solid base. Decide what you can invest in yourself financially and give yourself the time to make the transition. If that is not in the cards, a solid base is harder, but not impossible. It’ll then be built on the faith we talked about above and involving others so you can move along more quickly. Ask, ask, ask—for help, support—whatever you need. Create a base of emotional support no matter which level of financial cushion you can operate from.

A recent client made a decision to act on a long-time hunch that it was time to move on from his current job. Despite the uncertainty of the economy and the ‘sure thing’ that his position was after 20 years with the company, he knew he had to do it. He got on the phone and explored every hint, tip or lead that was given to him. Despite his family’s fears that he was blowing a good thing, he persevered, went on interviews, visited other folks that had moved on from his company years before and went to industry events to meet new people to talk to. He did find a new job that he was happy with and six months later, learned that his former company was making layoffs in the department he had been a part of!

Acting on a hunch will usually lead you to enter a suspended reality. That’s what we at Now What?® Coaching are here for. Meet our facilitators.

IS Your DRIVE Derailing YOU?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 27, 2011

by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

Finding yourself losing your satisfaction with your work or feeling like you just can’t motivate yourself the way you used to? Maybe you are even losing steam on a job search. Whatever the scenario, knowing why you are doing something and having a compelling reason to do so (besides a pay check) is a huge factor in succeeding at what you want to do.

Many people don’t realize it, but their loss of interest or mojo may have everything to do with what had motivated them in the past to get them to where they are now. What I mean is that we can actually outgrow our motivation! For example, if you were motivated to not be poor like your parents and now you have plenty of money but are losing interest in your work, it may very well be because you are not running on a motivator that means anything to you today. You already reached where the old motivation got you to! It’s time for a new drive!

On the other hand, there are situations where people are sooooo driven, that they ruin their relationships or the quality of their lives in tireless pursuit. Neither way seems to be how we are supposed to be living. The ideal, as years of listening to people tells me, is to have passion and a sensible balance (although not always consistent or perfect).

To find new motivation that is both healthy and up to date think about the following questions:

What vow did you make a long time ago that may now need updating?

(i.e. I’ll never be poor like my parents or I won’t be stuck like my mother/father was or I won’t be a teenage pregnancy statistic)

What needs must be met for you to be happy at work?

What issue calls you or galls you to the point where it motivates you to take action?

What image for the future compels you to want to make it happen?

When you are running on new fuel that matches who you are today and that means something to you, you will find it so much easier to take action even in the face of adversity.

Get into DRIVE and go!!!!

You Have Options

By Laura Berman Fortgang on June 1, 2011

by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor

More Than You Think

“Being wealthy is not about having money. It’s about having options.” That’s what Chris Rock told Oprah Winfrey in a recent interview. Commenting on his foray into live theatre, Chris framed it as part of his overall desire to try new things. “I should take complete advantage of the buffet that life is.” Speaking passionately he explained why it’s important to try new things, because then at least you will know: “You don’t like it because you tried it, not because you dismissed it.”

You might be thinking: Oh sure, Chris can say that because he has money. Maybe being rich does give him more options, yet how often does the average person dismiss ideas without fully considering them? Are we really low on options or just afraid of pursuing the option we want most? Could it be that we’re wealthier than we realize?

Can You See Them?

You typically have more options than you can see at first glance. There are several reasons for this; check to see if any of them are clouding your view of the future or even your current situation:

You think the option is not realistic. — If this is the case, before dismissing it out of hand ask yourself what about that particular option is appealing to you. There may be information in your answer that yields yet another alternative which is feasible or that expands your thinking about what is possible.

You don’t want to make the wrong choice, be embarrassed, or fail. — What’s required here is to place a greater value on “having tried” than on “failing”. Look for role models who embody this philosophy and give yourself permission to be more adventurous than you’ve been in the past. Briefly visit “the worst thing that could happen” and see if you’d be willing to handle it. That’s what worked for Julia, a client who suffered from excessive worry about making the wrong choice. Julia realized that changing her mind down the road would only be judged a failure if she —and only she— interpreted it that way.

You are afraid that what you want will require too much sacrifice. — It’s perfectly legitimate to decide that you do not want to pay the price associated with a certain option. Just be clear on two things first: 1) What might you be sacrificing already? 2) What would make the anticipated sacrifice worth it to you? Also keep in mind that sometimes choices appear to be mutually exclusive and yet are not in actuality; there may be a way to bridge your ideas without having to make an all or nothing decision. (More on this here)

There are too many options and they feel overwhelming. — This can be a good problem and one you can manage by first framing it that way. Then consider a few at a time vs. all the options at once. Write down your thoughts, note your feelings, and enlist someone to help you in sorting through your ideas. Which option piques your curiosity the most? Explore that one first.

What Are You Eyeing On The Buffet?

These questions often populate desk plaques and calendars and deserve consideration despite their familiarity: What would you attempt if you knew you wouldn’t fail? What would you try if money and time were not an issue?

This Week’s Call to Action:

Is there something on “the buffet of life” that you’d like to try, perhaps just for fun? Go do it.
If you’re having a hard time seeing any options regarding a current situation you want to change or problem you need to solve, get someone to help you generate ideas.
If there is a deeper or specific option that keeps calling you, find the courage and make a plan.

You are wealthier than you know. You have options.

BORROW FROM THE PAST TO CATAPULT YOUR FUTURE

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 27, 2011

by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

For at least two years, I have been seeing a pattern in career transition clients that has confirmed a theory that I have relied on for a long time. It seemed that every time a client was really at a standstill in the progress of their career or even their job search, the key to reclaiming momentum and positive results was to pick up a piece of their past passions and add it to the current mix. Reinventing by including a forgotten piece of a person, seemed to unlock the doors to luck and results.

Recently, I could even add myself to the list of anecdotal evidence.

This year started with a slow drag. A long time employee had to leave suddenly and one of my children had to spend time in the hospital (all is fine). It was not the momentum I had anticipated. Once I finally surrendered to the inevitable pace, I had some time to think and I recognized that I wanted to have a lot more fun with my work. A series of ah-ha’s finally coalesced to one big volcanic flash of understanding. I needed to bring a huge piece of my past that had been put aside happily for seventeen years into the present.

You see, at the top of the year I had also treated myself to performing in my first musical in almost twenty years. It was more fun than should have been legal, and although I never consciously thought I missed performing because speaking fills that need for me, I realized I had left way too much of that part of me behind.

The ah-ha then was that I needed to include this in my plans moving forward. I did that by creating three new keynote speeches that included theatre within them instead of my normal, expert-based talks which always included humor but I did not ‘act’ in them. Within days, I wrote a blog post based on one of them. In less than 24 hours, I was asked to speak the following week on the topic and two more bookings of the other new keynotes followed. In a month’s time, two former speaking clients came to me to book me for events, one of them choosing one of these new topics. The speed and momentum at which this all occurred was monumental.

The doors flying open and the ‘yes’s’ that have ensued are too numerous to list here, but suffice it to say, it has been a welcome infusion of energy, satisfaction and money. Certainly, I also interpret it as a sign to keep moving forward with this new direction.

This is what I know to be true for many of our Now What? clients. Reinvention today is not about pulling a new idea of the sky, but rather, about folding a forgotten piece into a new form that matches who you are today. You must identify what that is and engage it now. Let us know if we can help.

Now What? Q &A-Is it the right time to start the program?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 20, 2011

Today’s question is one that is often asked by our readers and is answered by Ginny Kravitz, Deputy Editor.

Question:

How do I know if this is the right time for me to start the Now What?® program?

Answer:

Here are some examples of other people who considered the same question of when to start. Perhaps you can relate to them:

Norah, a Benefits Manager in Seattle Washington, was eager to look at her career options and had given herself a deadline for deciding whether to stay on the same path or try something new. She was happy to find the Now What?® program but wondered about being able to devote the time and energy it would require as she was also working on other goals: delegating more at work, organizing her home and office, and reducing what she called a “state of clutter”. Norah’s instinct told her that her hesitation had more to do with her habit of procrastinating as well as some jitters about anticipated changes that might result from this work. She decided to go ahead and begin the program with my reassurance that she could give herself permission to adjust the pace if needed. Norah was pleased to discover that the first trio of chapters in Now What?® are about moving through “blocks to clarity” and this supported her goal to reduce clutter. Reaching the midpoint of the program, Norah had made significant discoveries about what makes her unique and what brings purpose and meaning to her work. She is now looking forward to researching potential fields of interest however has decided to take a break before completing the second half of the program, so that she can focus exclusively on specific health issues that need to be addressed. For Norah, this is the right decision at this time.

Mark, a software analyst, tells me that he’s had the Now What?® book for a few years and while he’s made some discoveries on his own, he is ready to go deeper by working with a coach. Mark thinks he’s allowed the status quo for too long and now feels a sense of urgency to first identify and then make the changes that will bring him greater fulfillment in his career and allow him to spend more time with his family.

When Anita, an IT professional, first began the Now What?® program two years ago she had a dual strategy of: 1) finding a new job as soon as possible so that she could leave a stress-filled work environment and 2) doing the creative soul searching about where she might ultimately want to take her career. Anita has since changed jobs and is working in a much better environment. She is also pursuing a variety of interests outside work that are bringing her much enjoyment. Anita comments that she only wishes she had started the Now What?® program sooner and advises others not to wait.

Only you can say when it’s the right time to invest your energy in making a change. While it’s important to check your commitment level and be willing to make some time for the work, it is not necessary (or possible) to wait for all the ducks to be in a row. The bottom line is that if you are drawn to this work, then pay attention to that inkling and take a step to find out more. Pick up the book, take the quiz, talk to one of our coaches, or sign up for the The Now What?® Newsletter and come to the next community call hosted by Laura. What is telling you that it’s the right time to move forward?