If you’ve been following along, I ran for NJ State Assembly, announcing in March and losing my primary on June 6th. What am I taking away from this experience?
NO PAIN, NO GAIN
Running for office, especially as a neophyte, was a huge learning curve. I thought of it in January and by mid-February, life handed me a campaign manager and a handful of consultants who helped me weigh the decision. I jumped in with both feet and ran “off the line” for a chance to represent on the Democratic side.
I knew I was attempting something very difficult to achieve. You want the party endorsement (thus being “ON the line”) because most people blindly vote for whomever was chosen for them by their party. However, my fire was lit, and it was not going to wait two years to attempt to make a difference.
LISTENING is TEN TIMES More VALUABLE than Talking!
Being a professional speaker and performer, I was not intimidated by the public aspect of running for office, but my greatest asset, I found, was my ability to listen. As I participated on panels and a candidate forum, I repeatedly heard my fellow candidates speak ad nauseum on tangents and not address the question asked.
These were not experienced “pivoters,” but people who like to hear themselves talk. At one point, I was the last of four to address a particular question, and I asked the person who asked it if he thought his question had been answered. He said no.
I proceeded to answer, but prefaced it with “Please don’t confuse my economy of words with not having anything to say. I believe in addressing this head on. The answer is no.”
Done.
LOSING SUCKS
I waited for the election results at a friend’s house, along with the couple who hosted and my husband. We could see the outcome starting to gel, and then the final call from an official source came in. I had lost. I was OK. Until I wasn’t.
The news was crushing, and I felt embarrassed that I had thought we could pull off the near impossible. The first day post election was ugly. I was so grateful that people were clearly giving me space and not rushing to call me. My disappointment quickly moved to anger. I was livid that it seems that most people do not spend ANY time paying attention to who they are voting for and that many don’t show up to vote at all. I got half as many votes as the two winners (three of us were running for two seats), and I earned every single one of them. It only made me more angry that apparently thousands of people (25% of eligible voters who voted) did not even pop open their computer for thirty seconds of research. If they had, they’d have seen that neither of my competitors had a website nor much online presence at all. Perhaps they may have voted differently when they could only find one of us and gain an understanding of what that one stood for.
So there I was having felt compelled to run because the party didn’t care about my district or who actually won it —and the candidates who raised virtually no money and were not running a proper campaign took the win to compete in the general election in November.
Day Two, I was relieved. Day Three, I was completely cynical about our system, and the ability of good people ever being able to make a difference. Day Four, I was relieved that I didn’t have to keep campaigning. Day Five, I was fine – the grieving cycle had ended.
THE OUTCOME
I have no regrets. And, in fact, I am SO happy that I ran!
I have made more progress in getting involved in my town and state and therefore, the nation, than I ever would have just despairing about the news on TV. I had a ringside seat to the inner workings. I’m not an expert, but I now see how HUGE I had made the barrier between politics and me. I, like many people, was just ignorant and diving in showed me it’s really easy to understand. I used to avoid it at any cost. Part apathy, part not knowing where or how to start understanding it. With that said, politics is not the point. Knowing how government works at the municipal, county, state and national level is so that I can continue to be an agent of positive change. I hope I have shown others what’s possible.
These last few months took me away from home a great deal of the time. It turned out that my family may not have acted like they missed me much, but now that I do not have to campaign any longer, I can see some very important things that need my care at home. Turns out we only have so much energy and attention at any given time. This is something that keeps women, especially, from running for office. It won’t deter me from running again, but I’ll be better prepared next time.
Thank for taking the ride with me, and stay tuned for what’s next. Even if our politics are not the same, please know I don’t want to be a politician. I do want to be someone who listens, finds the patterns in the chaos, and works to be a part of the solution.
As a woman who stopped me in the grocery store said to me last week:
“I told my friends you weren’t a Democrat or a Republican. I told them you were someone who can get things done.”
I’ll take that and run. The support of so many has made this journey possible. As much as I wasn’t doing this for myself, I could not have done it by myself. Thanks for following along.
P.S. Politicians could really use coaching. Just saying.
Brava! Well played! An example to me and to us all, you Superbwoman you!
Abraham Lincoln lost his first few elections. Like anything else there is a learning curve.
I hope you won’t give up after one try. I think you were meant to be in public service. You have so much to offer. This country needs more compassionate women’s voices in places of power.
Great article.. I leave you with the success and failures of Abraham Lincoln. Keep at it, the world needs you!
1831 – Lost his job
1832 – Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature
1833 – Failed in business
1834 – Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success)
1835 – Sweetheart died
1836 – Had nervous breakdown
1838 – Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker
1843 – Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress
1846 – Elected to Congress (success)
1848 – Lost re-nomination
1849 – Rejected for land officer position
1854 – Defeated in run for U.S. Senate
1856 – Defeated in run for nomination for Vice President
1858 – Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate
1860 – Elected President (success)
My deepest regret was that I didn’t live in your district.
Yes, it is EXTREMELY frustrating that the general public didn’t realize, or care enough about the primary, to do simple research, to get out on a drizzly day and exercise their current right to vote. And I put the word CURRENT in intentionally, because that is under attack.
I’m part of a couple of organizations in Bergen and Hudson county and we could use your feedback. Thanks to technology, perhaps we could do a Google hangout which wouldn’t require you to take a lot of time out of your life.
You know how to message me.
CONGRATS Laura, ya done good kid.
I just recently heard about this from Ginny – and was about to reach out. I love this post of your process, thank you so much for sharing. Your intentions were incredible and your drive, inspiring, as always. And as a coach, it is a beautiful thing to see you continue to model following your passion. Sending love.
I have chosen to take on coaching political candidates as a result of this past election. A way we can all get involved.
Laura,
Thanks for taking this bold move and sharing it with us. I’m sure you inspired many more people to run or consider running. We need more of this in our communities! Another example of coaches changing the world! With appreciation from a former Bergen county gal.
Awesome!
I love this. Thank you!
You are always such an inspiration Laura! We NEED people like you more than ever before to get involved. Keep running!!
They’d be lucky to have you on their leadership team. I hope you continue to build their awareness, culture change is hard and often takes much more time than we realize!
Laura I loved that you ran. I have been involved with politics for the last few years. In Australia voting is compulsory, something I happen to agree with. It is also reasonably fair. (as in no gerrymander, not able to be corrupted etc.) What I know for sure is that we do not teach people how to be citizens, how to know that they count, their voice matters, their vote matters. I believe that when a system becomes so corrupt, as in the USA, people lose hope and feel they do not matter. The opposite is so, their voice matters more than at any time.
I applaud you for jumping into the arena.
You are a model of listening to your life and acting on what you hear with courage!
Kudos – kudos – kudos!! Well done to step off of the safe, secure bridge and leap into the political stage. I hope that you only feel pride in your endeavor and never…Never…NEVER feel regret. What an incredible learning and growth opportunity. You and those that will cross your path will benefit from your experience. Thank you and…did I say “KUDOS”?
Thank you, Pat. NO regrets whatsoever. I appreciate your support.
Thank you.
It’s so true. Our voices are needed NOW more than ever. I HAD to run
and I will likely run again. This was very positive in terms of being introduced
into the arena. There are more women jumping in like I did in the US than ever before.
I intend to see that that only becomes increasingly true.
Thanks for the nod.
Yes, my friend! Continue to share your lovely heart and your determination to represent the humans in your community, your country, with honesty and integrity and from a sincere place of love. Proud to know you. Impressed by your willingness to play full out.