No role models.
No expectation to even go to college.
A dream beaten out of him.
And yet, this dream did not entirely disappear, and now this man is able to say, “Finally, I am free of this, and I can go after something I’ve always wanted.”
Car mechanic shifts gears, becomes a doctor at age 47 and helps address shortage of black doctors
Bottom line: “Life is short. Our days are numbered, so why spend them doing something we don’t love? It’s time to make a decision to go for it.”
If you don’t try, you’ll never find out what might be possible. You have one life. Don’t miss it!
Don’t set any goals?! Is that what I’m recommending? Well, yes. Sort of.
I want to introduce you to a way to get new results in your life that will be FAR MORE effective than simply writing down your SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-bound).
The key to getting more bang from your New Year’s reset is to set WHO goals vs. WHAT goals. WHAT?! Yes, you read correctly. I want you to focus on where you need to grow personally before you focus on WHAT you want to accomplish. For example, many a New Year’s resolution list includes wanting to lose weight. A SMART goal would be to lose 20 lbs. by June 2019. Specific: 20 lbs. Measurable: 20 lbs. Attainable: Yes, that’s not impossible. Relevant: Yes, I want this. Time-Bound: by June 2019.
There is a $70 billion weight loss market in the United States!* That is absurd when you consider that most of those consumers know EXACTLY how to lose weight. I’m sure you do too. Every audience I speak to can tell me: “Eat less; exercise more.” So, why do we have a multi-billion-dollar consumer market for weight loss advice and products? Because few teach you how to change the WHO. They teach you how to change WHAT you are doing but few actually address the internal changes that need to happen to keep you on track to do WHAT the programs offer and advise.
Back to you! Your 2019 will be brighter if you DON’T set WHAT goals right now and instead focus on WHO goals. Who do you need to be this year? How do you need to behave? What quality do you want to put at the forefront and build like a new muscle?
Do you want to get a new job this year? You’ll need to send out resumes, network, contact recruiters and the like, but you’ll have to work on your discipline and your courage first. To make the most progress on those two WHO goals, your best bet is to start small. Overcome a small lack of courage before you go for the big ask. Are you not one to send back improperly cooked food at a restaurant? Start now. Ask for what you want where the risk is low. Then, start building up your courage to contact the people you know you need to talk to, like an old boss or that colleague who works for a competitor. Build the courage muscle, put a date on it and DO it!
Small ways to build discipline might include: no longer setting a snooze button, committing to walk the stairs whenever possible, writing ten minutes a day, cleaning your desk every night before heading home, tackling whatever you’re working on in small doses.
“Aren’t these just distractions keeping me from doing the work of getting what I want?” you might ask. NO. These are the things that when you take the time to practice, will keep you in action doing the WHAT items without getting derailed. If you have a track record of losing steam on your action plan, you need WHO goals to be dealt with before you move into your action plan. Then you keep up the muscle-building while you move into the action items. If you don’t work on your discipline when it comes to eating, sticking to a plan becomes erratic. You get the idea.
Stop that GOAL setting right now and get your head on straight. Work on WHO you need to be first before you attack WHAT you have to do. The results will surprise you.
I’ll be right here applauding. Let us know if you need an assist.
*According to PRNewswire
If only we could just Google, “What should I do with my life?” and have the answers magically appear on our screen, laying out for us step by step the path to happiness … wouldn’t that be nice?
But, since that isn’t the way it works, here are some tips to get you going to answer this BIG question that so many people share.
7 Ways to Find the Answer to “What Should I Do With My Life?”
We hear it all the time . . . “Am I too old to go for something new? To follow my dream? To start a business?”
And, the answer is quite simply, no.
If you’re still here, you’ve got possibilities worth exploring. Need some proof? Read on . . .
An Inspirational Reminder That You’re Never “Too Old” to Change Careers
At the airport this past Friday morning:
A young man (I am guessing between the ages of 17-25) dances/skips with perfectly pointed toes across the endless carpeted open space in the international arrivals terminal in Toronto. I see him from the top of the escalator two stories up. Upon a closer look, I can see he isn’t a professional. He and his mother happened to exit at the same time I did. I asked the woman if I could talk to her son. She paused.
“He’s autistic,” she said.
“I know,” I said and proceeded.
“I saw you dancing in there.”
“I’m not a dancer,” he said.
“Well, I just wanted to thank you for sharing your joy. It made me very happy to see you dance.”
He walked away. His mom cried.
She seemed shocked that someone even noticed her son, much less had something kind to say to him.
I posted this bit on Facebook, and the reactions and shares piled up. Many acknowledged me for my actions which, frankly, still embarrasses me. I didn’t mean to attract attention to myself. I wanted to share this scene for people to take in and bring their own meaning to it.
In the few days since, I thought it was worth repeating here as an invitation. That invitation is to look up from your devices and skip past instant assumptions. Focus your perspective to cut through the surface to find a connection or commonality you can appreciate with our fellow human beings. See their humanity.
You know what I saw when I watched the dancing young man? First, I saw beauty in his form. Then I marveled at the freedom he gave himself to enjoy the open, uncrowded, carpeted space. Then I projected myself into that observation. Whenever I am in an open, carpeted expanse, like an empty Las Vegas conference ballroom (not random, I’m in these ballrooms often for speeches), I want to do the very same thing he was doing! I want to jump and dance and fly through the space to the limits of my human ability. Before a certain age, I cartwheeled when I was alone in these spaces. So by looking up from my device and coming upon the bird’s eye view of this dancer, I saw beauty, felt joy in watching him, and connected it to my secret. I relished the moment.
I also had to say something to him about it. I knew he wouldn’t care, but I felt moved to talk to him. I felt I could relate to this mother who has it much harder than I do. I know she lives in a world most don’t understand. I wanted her to know her boy had an impact. His freedom to be himself mattered.
What will you notice today? What will you SEE?
If you read this because you’re on the Now What? (am I going to do) journey, being more in tune with what’s going on around you can help open your eyes to opportunities that might otherwise go unnoticed.
Our dreams do not always come in the packages we expect.
When obstacles change our course, sometimes simply showing up to be around the passion, doing whatever is needed (even the small and tedious tasks) will reveal new way to be with what you love.
She Believed She Could: Abby DePhillips On Finding Your Path
