Career Burnout

Do This To Replace Toxic Positivity

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 7, 2024

I have a confession to make: I’m not a big fan of positive thinking.

People often find this surprising because — after all — the self-help industry is rife with coaches who promote the power of positive thinking.

Maybe it’s the New Yorker in me, but expecting things to go well just because you’ve decided to be happy and hopeful — well, it doesn’t quite cut it. Call me cynical, but believing optimism will work magic is simply too airy fairy for my sensibilities.

For example, let’s say you feel like you’re not good enough to land your dream job and won’t have enough money to pay your mortgage within the next few months unless you get hired.

Positive thinking enthusiasts will consider your situation and suggest you start saying affirmations.

I AM good enough! I am a millionaire money magnet!

I get it; the idea is to reprogram your thinking to believe everything will work out in your favor. Don’t get me wrong, replacing negative self-talk with a more positive outlook can boost your motivation and confidence. A shift in your perspective can open your eyes to opportunities.

But, let’s face it – positive thinking can also keep you stuck in little more than delusion. It doesn’t necessarily change the actions you’ll take.

In the real world, I prefer to place my bets on a more practical and actionable approach: productive thinking.

Turning a negative thought into a positive one won’t necessarily get you where you want to go. Here’s what I mean —

Let’s say you think you’re too old to pivot onto a new career path. Chanting “I am young and vibrant!” isn’t likely to take you very far anytime soon.

Instead, ask yourself if going around insisting you’re too old to pivot will help produce the outcome you want. No, of course not.

Next ask: Is it probable that you’ll run up against ageism? Go ahead and face your fears and admit that you think “yes.”

Then ask: Is it POSSIBLE that you’ll be the one to beat the odds and breakthrough? The honest answer is “yes.” Isn’t that interesting? Admitting you very well may not be too old IS the truth.

Productive thinking is about living in possibilities — not pulling the wool over your eyes and getting caught up in toxic positivity. Instead of rejecting negative emotions and deluding yourself with unrealistic thoughts with no consideration for circumstances, consider what’s possible.

It’s not productive to stay stuck in the problem. Instead, look for options and opportunities. Productive thinking allows for taking action.

When you think you’re not good enough, you collect evidence that you’re not good enough. Positive thinking asks you to toss that evidence aside with no proof.
Meanwhile, productive thinking seeks a different kind of evidence. What actions make “it” more possible? Do you want the job or to succeed in your business? Keep taking the actions that open up possibilities. Learn the skill. Revamp your resume. Launch the podcast. Call the prospect. The more action you take, the more possible your goals and dreams become.

Lacking confidence in a particular area? Start your productive thinking journey this month.

Are You Counting Yourself Out Before You Try?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on June 30, 2024

As a coach, I could talk all day about the many ways I’ve seen people hold themselves back, but today I’m diving into one of the most common.

I have to come right out and say it: Far too many of you are putting yourself through the wringer for no good reason!

You’re placing obstacles in your own way, adding steps that don’t need to be there, and slowing down your progress unnecessarily.

I’ve figured out one reason why.

If you’ve ever gone to college or pursued some sort of formal qualification (or you’re simply familiar with the process), you’ve heard the term prerequisites (or prereqs for short).

It refers to the classes you take or another requirement you need to meet before you’re eligible to enroll in a program or class to move on to the next level.

We’ve come to believe this is the way it must be — moving up step by-step-by-step. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s what I mean:

I was working with a client who was gunning for an executive career. He’d proven himself an effective leader with a track record of results. But when his dream division VP role opened up, he almost counted himself out. At the time, he was a senior director and figured he needed to go after an assistant VP role first … still, the division leader opportunity was calling his name.

Instead, we developed a game plan, and I encouraged him to go for it. He landed the job! Skipping the make-believe interim step. Waiving his imaginary prereq.

The topic came up again this week. I had a client who wanted to coach corporate clients, but she didn’t have a corporate background, so she counted herself out.

How could she knock on the doors of these big corporations without the portfolio and qualifications to back up what she was selling? She assumed she’d never land a contract.

Instead, we developed a plan for her to skip the closed doors altogether and go straight for the people who work at these corporations. Corporate leaders are deciding to work with her, individually, some even using their professional development perks to get reimbursed.

She skipped the make-believe interim step. Waived her imaginary prereq.

Soon enough, she’ll be able to knock on enterprise doors pointing to the results she got for leaders at megacorps, and she’s building her corporate prospect network in the process.

Now it’s your turn.

Look at the roadblocks you put in the way, thinking you need X before you can achieve the Y you want.

What do YOU really want? Go for it now!

The Cost of Becoming the Boss

By Laura Berman Fortgang on June 9, 2024

If you’re anything like most ambitious people, you had big dreams of becoming the boss one day.

You wanted to be the one to call the shots.

You couldn’t wait for your ideas to take center stage.

The idea of one day answering only to the big shots (or no one at all!) fired you up.

But then . . . it happened!

You became the boss. Now what?

If you’re anything like most ambitious people, you soon realize those big dreams of becoming the boss left out a few important details.
Being in charge changes things.

Getting promoted from colleague to manager . . .

Starting with a new company at the next level up . . .

Hiring the first employees or contractors in your business (often someone you know!) . .

Whoa!

If you haven’t experienced this yet, fair warning: it can be more challenging than you expect.

The dynamic shifts and relationships take on a new shape. People you’ve been friendly with suddenly see you in a new light. People you expect to be friendly with have their guard up. Those bonds that you would’ve sworn wouldn’t be affected will evolve.

You can’t ignore this or put your head in the sand. It’s time to take the lead and embrace your new identity.

1. Set some ground rules.
Make sure your team knows you can remain friends, but they also have to respect the role. Business is business and things must get done.

This might mean signaling when you’re shifting in and out of colleague or friend mode into boss mode. You can still let your hair down sometimes, but everyone needs to know when it’s time to roll up your sleeves.

2. Set aside your feelings.
Feeling awkward about being a step ahead in your career or business? Or maybe guilty about beating a friend out for a promotion? Bitter that your colleagues haven’t been congratulatory? You need to process this personally and keep things professional. Not everyone is going to like you as a boss, and that’s par for the course.

3. Accept that things have to change.
You might have to cut out some things you did before. Going out for drinks together after work or meeting up in the break room for quiet gossip sessions will have to become a thing of the past.

Distancing yourself might be an awkward dance at first and can take some getting used to, but you’ll adjust; it’s worth it!

Managing colleagues and friends can be a wonderful opportunity for everyone to grow together. But it’s not going to happen without concerted effort. You have to be willing to take the initiative as you take on the new role to do what it takes.

Being the boss really can be everything you dreamed it would be and more!

Try This Spring Cleaning Mind Trick

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 26, 2024

Spring has sprung in my part of the world, and new beauty is blooming all around us.

The weather is not exactly cooperating with my sunny disposition this week, but, I’m ushering in new beginnings nonetheless.

It’s that time of year again to clear the clutter!

You might’ve guessed it, but I’m not just referring to spring cleaning your closets. Instead, it’s time to spring clean your mind – get rid of all the junk that’s no longer serving you.

When things aren’t going the way we want them to go — like the on-again-off-again dreary weather in the Northeast or the new business you can’t get off the ground — we tend to spend a lot of time thinking about what we don’t want.

Whatever is causing you stress or anxiety stays top of mind. It’s all about the problems. But here’s the thing —

These problems aren’t going anywhere unless you pull them out, take a good look, and get them sorted, step by step.

Take out a sheet of paper or pull up a spreadsheet on your computer.
First, make two columns: A) “What I Don’t Want” and B) “What I Want”
Then start with what you don’t want. Dump it all out in the first column.
Subsequently, in the second column, rewrite the dumped item into something you DO want.

Let’s take a look at an example:

Column A: I can’t stand my long commute.
Column B: I want no more than a 5-minute commute from my house.

Column A: I can’t stand my boss.
Column B: I want to work for someone who respects my ideas.

Everything you can’t stand points to what you really want.

Thinking about it this way changes the energy in your body. Instead of focusing on “NO, NO, NO, I don’t want this!” you’re picturing “Ah, yes, let me make room for that thing over there.”

Sweep out the old, dusty, no-good yuck, and prepare to replace it with renewed motivation to go out and get something better.

Sweep and shift, and you’ll start moving forward, with less burden, toward the life and career or business you want.

Have You Reached Your Expiration Date?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 5, 2024

My family often teases me because I tend to overlook expiration dates. I’m not going around guzzling sour milk, but I might add a dollop of sour cream to my potato before noticing it expired last month.

The other day, they made fun of me over a jar of olives I should’ve tossed weeks ago. What can I say? Time flies when you’re having fun. I could’ve sworn I just bought those olives!

But after a good laugh, I got to thinking. Isn’t it funny that almost everything has a shelf life?

What are you holding onto past its expiration date?

Maybe it’s a car that’s draining the bank with repair costs, a friendship that feels forced because you’ve grown apart, or a pair of running shoes that no longer put a bounce in your step.

Perhaps it’s your career or business that has hit an expiration date.

Don’t worry; I’m not saying it’s time to put yourself out to pasture, or quit on a whim to pursue a pipe dream. But I am saying there may be something about what you’re doing that has outlived its usefulness.

A vendor you’ve come to rely on could’ve let their service quality slip, making you look bad!
Have you been using the same apps or systems in your business for a decade, ignoring the new and improved competitors that could save you time and boost your profits?
Are you relying on an outdated social media or sales strategy that has lost the advantage it once gave you?
A client who’s been with you from the start could be dragging you down, paying lower rates, expecting you to be at their beck and call, and undervaluing your progress and growth.

It’s time to clean out the fridge! This time, don’t put the moldy strawberry jam back on the shelf after you’ve wiped it down.

In other words, I’m urging you to clear out the things in your career and business that have hit their expiration date. If it’s no longer serving you, get rid of it, and replace it with something fresher and more desirable.

What needs to go?

Clear out the old energy and bring in the new!

Every A-List Coach Has This Nailed

By Laura Berman Fortgang on April 28, 2024

I want to clear something up. This has to be said. Far too many people want to be successful coaches, but they don’t want to do what it takes to have a successful coaching business.

Don’t get me wrong. Being a good coach doesn’t necessarily mean you need to be good at business. You might be coaching in your job, coaching for a firm, or running a hobby coaching practice that doesn’t pay the bills.

But when you’re ready to become an A-list coach with a successful coaching business and the prosperity that comes along with it, it’s time to get serious about what it really takes.

In my experience, it all comes down to what I call The 4 M’s — Messaging, Methodology, Marketing, Management. (And you have to nail all four!)

1. Messaging
When you don’t have clear messaging, your audience has no idea what to do with you. If you’re confused, they’re confused. Your messaging needs to be straightforward and get right to the point.
For example, my message for my coach audience is simple: “I help coaches differentiate themselves in the marketplace and prosper.” What’s yours?

2. Methodology
Your potential clients should also know HOW you get the job done. What’s your approach for getting results? You need to have your own way of doing what you do that sets you apart from the next coach.

3. Marketing
You must get the word out so people know about your products and services. You don’t have to be a dancing polar bear on TikTok; you simply need to get your clear messaging and methodology out there in front of the right folks through speaking, teaching, writing, etc.
No need to stretch yourself thin or be inauthentic. Lean into your strengths.

4. Management
A successful coaching business requires effective management. You need to manage your business — operations, tools, support, and resources. And you need to manage yourself — handle your personal growth by taking on each “new level, new devil” challenge with grace and confidence.

If you’re trying to build a coaching business without nailing the 4 M’s, you’re making it a whole lot harder for yourself than necessary. I’m just going to say it: without the 4 M’s, you won’t make the A-list.