Now What? Q & A

Are You Playing to Win or Playing Not to Lose?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on November 3, 2024

I’m working with a C-suite executive at a mid-sized company, and the organization is going through some changes. Given his position, my client is privy to what’s happening and savvy enough to see the writing on the wall — what’s coming down the pike doesn’t look good, and his days may be numbered.

We agreed that it’s time to start exploring other opportunities. And that’s when it became clear that his confidence was shaken.

“Maybe I should target VP roles,” he said. “Perhaps a senior director position at a bigger company makes sense. Should I step out of leadership and go into consulting? I think I should cast a wide net.”

Here we go again, I thought. I’m never surprised but always disappointed when this happens.

I’m sitting across from a brilliant, driven, highly-accomplished C-suite executive, and just because his employer is taking an unexpected turn, he’s suddenly questioning his status and worth.

So I asked him: “Are you playing to WIN? Or are you playing not to lose?”

It’s a powerful question. One of my coaches has asked me! What about you? Are you playing to WIN? Or are you playing not to lose?

Because let me tell you what I know for sure, as I did with him…

Volunteering to step down a few rungs on a ladder you’ve already climbed is playing not to lose.

Looking for a lower-level role through a lower-risk search is playing not to lose.

Taking a pay cut to avoid the competition is playing not to lose.

Playing not to lose is accepting less than you deserve, which is a guaranteed “L” by any meaningful measure.

Here’s how my client can play to win instead —
Leverage his C-suite experience to land an even better position.

That goes for you too —
If circumstances threaten to bring you down, aim higher.

Never sell yourself short. Kick it up a notch! Shoot for the ultimate. What do YOU want?

A job at a bigger organization with higher pay, excellent benefits, and more support.
A position that fosters growth and prepares you for the next level.
A seat at the table with more visibility and a chance to make a name for yourself.
An opportunity to make an impact and leave a legacy.
A role that values your expertise more than your time and presence, so you can prioritize life outside of work.

It’s up to you. What do you want to WIN? Challenge yourself to go after that.

Too many people mistake aiming lower for taking the easier route with less risk. But playing not to lose never wins.

How to Sell without the ICK

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 13, 2024

This isn’t easy, but it can’t be avoided.

I talk to smart, talented, capable people who find themselves stuck every day, and almost every one of them has this one thing in common.

They want to grow a business or accomplish the next big step in their career. They are go-getters and have a lot going for them. But this one thing keeps holding them back – perhaps you can relate –

They hate selling. Most people do.

Sure, we all know someone born with the ability to sell sand in the desert, but they’re the exceptional few.

The majority of us find sales to be icky.

Because when someone tries to sell us a product or a service using a high-pressure, manipulative, slimy approach, we walk away from that experience covered in ick. And we don’t want to be someone who spews ick.

But you’re not an icky person.

You’re someone who stands behind your product, someone with solutions to offer, someone who solves problems and gets results.

Whether you’re interviewing for a job, making a pitch, or looking to close a deal, what you’re putting on the table is the answer to another person’s needs or desires. A transformation or positive outcome will occur if they take you up on your invitation.

I get it. To say selling yourself isn’t easy is an understatement, but if you have any ambitions, you have to get over the ick.

Remember, sales scenarios can be disconcerting — for both you and the other person! Your success is on the line. They’re on the defensive. And you’re each sensing a threat, which can trigger “fight or flight” mode.

The best way to think of selling is that you’re doing someone a service. A key part of that service is helping them feel comfortable — by having conversations, asking good questions, welcoming objections, guiding decisions, and reassuring the other person that you have their best interests at heart. There’s nothing icky about that.

Getting better at selling isn’t something you can avoid, but you can avoid the ick.

Harvesting Results in Q4

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 6, 2024

Fall is always an interesting time of year in business.

Sometimes the summer slowdown lulls us into lazy mode or propels us into panic. You might be asking yourself, “Will things really pick up?”

Here’s what I have to say about that: I hope you enjoyed a nice vacation but kept the leads flowing and your options open — because it’s now that the harvest should be plenty!

Landing into the hustle and bustle of Fourth Quarter can sneak up on us if we haven’t planted seeds or laid the groundwork for what should be a busy season ahead.

Fall is meant to be a time to harvest the hearty fare that helps us through the winter — pumpkins, squash, and sweet potatoes — and plant our next round of seeds before the first frost — things like kale, cabbage, and spinach.

Ok, so we might not be gardeners, but we all work in cycles and stints. We all need to prepare, plant, grow, nurture, cultivate, harvest, and do it all over again and again.

Remember, we only get to reap the benefits of what we’ve sown throughout the year. Putting in the work year-round is the surest way to thrive.

Whether you’re in a job search, navigating your next step on the career ladder, or building your business, Q4 is a time ripe with opportunity. The holidays will be here before we know it!

Don’t fall back; keep moving forward.

More Lessons From My Hobby

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 29, 2024

Over the past year or so, I’ve started a new hobby.

And I think this one might surprise you: I’m flipping furniture! (unless you’ve been around and read my previous article on this.)

You read that right. Here I am — a busy business owner, coaching executives and entrepreneurs — and I’ve made time for something entirely new that has nothing to do with my business.

Highly recommended: 10/10

Not only do I enjoy this hobby, but I’m also learning a great deal from it.

If you’re not familiar with furniture flipping, it’s when you take an outdated piece or lackluster antique nobody wants, and give it a second life. I either refurbish it back to its original beauty or update it with a whole new look.

I’m having a blast, and here’s something interesting I’ve noticed —

Furniture flipping is highly creative, fun, and incredibly satisfying. But most of the work is in the preparation — fixing and re-fixing cracks, stripping, sanding, and priming.

It’s 90% hard work and 10% art, which is a great analogy for owning a business or creating success in anything worthwhile.

We’re passionate about delivering the coaching, training, speaking, or product — that signature thing you enjoy most. But 90% of business is the marketing, sales, operations, tech, and management — the prep work. And let’s be honest; sometimes it feels like a whole lot of drudgery. (Maybe that’s why it’s called ‘work’!)

But to be successful in business requires a willingness to put in that prep work — with enthusiasm! You have to be willing to prepare and prepare and prepare before you get to deliver your art.

This may have come as a surprise when you started your business. Or you may be you’re even in a job search. However, it doesn’t take long to realize there’s mountains of prep work to be done before you get to the fun part.

The challenge becomes making the hard work fun.

Here’s what I mean —

When I’m working on a piece of furniture, something often sets me back right before I get to the best part. I’m mixing my paint, looking forward to watching the smooth new finish come to life, and I notice another crack…which means adding more filler, sanding, and priming all over again.

I can label these setbacks as a pain in the ‘you know what’ or I can choose to embrace them as part of the journey. Settling in, focusing on what’s right in front of you in the moment, and rolling with the obstacles will help you feel more aligned and full of purpose.

The final product is always better because you took good care to do it right and gave it the attention it deserved.

So, my advice is to expect the hiccups, stumbling blocks, and complications along the way. Recognize it all as integral to your craft and key to delivering the goods.

How can you fall in love with the 90% before you get to the fun and most rewarding part?

Disrupting the Meritocracy of Adrenaline

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 22, 2024

Anyone who spends a lot of time with ambitious people will tell you —

Adrenaline is one heckuva drug!

Sure, it’s all-natural and a perfectly normal hormone for your adrenals to produce, but it’s also quite addicting for some people.

Working short deadlines.
Staying super busy.
Running on stress.

It sometimes feels like a superpower! Like you’re getting ahead by giving yourself a huge advantage.

Operating under pressure can help you focus, heighten your abilities, and make you feel invincible — all thanks to a chemical influx to your brain.

But you probably know where I’m going with this . . .

Running on high adrenaline simply isn’t sustainable.

Relying on adrenaline eventually turns us into junkies, needing coffee, sugar, and all sorts of stimulants to keep from crashing throughout the day. Our performance starts to suffer, we make mistakes, and sooner or later, we either face the facts or hit a wall.

What I want for you is sustainable success, and here’s how you get there.

Be present.
Remember, silence is the natural organizer.
You have to create space in your life.

Of course, this may sound easier said than done, but the payoff is worth the effort. It will help you experience focus, efficiency, and heightened ability without the roller coaster of energy, damaging stress, and eventual crash.

Meditating, journaling, practicing yoga, exercising, and doing breathwork all give you the benefits of adrenaline without the negative side effects.

Become aware of your body.
Move consciously.
Pay attention to your breathing.

These actions get the other endorphins flowing, so you don’t have to rely solely on adrenaline.

I want you to feel refreshed, vibrant, and ready to take on your next challenge.

The Secret to Better Decision Making

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 15, 2024

If you’re feeling stuck in your career or business, it’s usually because you’re having trouble deciding which move to make.

“Should I do this? Or should I do that?”

High achievers know that indecision is the enemy of progress; swift, confident decisions are the path to success. In my experience, to say good decision making is underrated is an understatement.

You might be thinking I’m going to tell you it’s time to brush up on your critical thinking. Well, think again! Or better yet, don’t think again . . .

While being analytical obviously has its merits and place, there’s more to good decision making than what makes logical sense.

Rather than relying solely on deductive reasoning, good decisions often come from paying close attention to how you feel. The left brain tends to use all the data it’s gathered to steer you in the safest direction, keeping you close to shore and far from where you want to be. Sometimes it’s better to go with your gut.

Here’s what I mean —

Last week, I was working with one of my entrepreneur clients, and she was trying to figure out her next move. She owns multiple businesses and was considering several lucrative opportunities on the table.

But nothing about her business excited her anymore. The spreadsheets were shouting at her to stay the course, but she could no longer see herself happy or fulfilled by remaining at the helm.

Logically, it makes sense for her to stick with it, especially through the uncertain economy. But energetically, she’d already abandoned ship. She decided to sell.

And let me tell you . . .

The relief she felt at that moment was palpable. Right away, I could see that a weight lifted and her energy shifted. Within minutes, she started to talk about what she really wanted to do next — in a future that looks bright and much more aligned with who she is now.

I’ve made similar moves in my own career — where the logical decision would’ve been to take the conventional, safer route, such as signing a big corporate coaching client contract. Instead, I tuned into the energy and recognized that move wasn’t right for me at that moment.

What happened next? Soon afterward, the publishing opportunities that exploded my career landed in my lap. I didn’t know this would happen; it wasn’t even on my radar. I simply felt that taking on that other commitment wasn’t right. If I’d gone the logical route, I would’ve missed the door I walked through toward the future I desired and the success I’ve enjoyed.

I followed the energy, not the logic.

Time and again, over the years, I’ve experienced and observed this:

Logic will stop you and energy will free you.

The next time you have a decision to make . . .

Don’t just dwell on the pros and cons or the possibility that you could be making a mistake. Instead, focus on how it feels.

Where’s the energy? Where is the excitement? There’s your answer.