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  • A Horribly Good Year

    A Horribly Good Year

    2020. The world was knocked off its axis. Humans, once again, had to be reminded that they are not in charge. Mother Nature nearly stopped the whole globe with a virus. The pollution over India, China, and the West Coast of the U.S. was almost non-existent as we learned that we actually do know how to stop global warming if we could care more about life than money for a month or two a year.

    2020. The disparity of the worst and the best in people, and the best and the worst personal circumstances. Many are barely keeping their spirit from breaking due to the traumatizing losses this year has brought:

    loss of life, of health, of companionship, of employment, of the freedom to move about, and the loss of food security in what is supposedly my “richest country in the world.”  Many of us have been brought to our knees, and if we have an ounce of awareness that life has been far from “normal” we couldn’t help but be transformed by 2020.

    Certainly, my wardrobe has been transformed to become two sizes bigger, but in all seriousness, I count myself among the lucky because everyone in my life have stayed healthy despite a few positive COVID tests around us.

    We are all still here. “Still here” also means my young, adult and almost-adult children are under my roof stopped in their tracks just as they were experiencing the start of college and for my eldest child, the early momentum of his chosen career. Dead stop. Online classes and the lack of work opportunities have been hard. “But we have our health,” I tell them. (Perspective does not come easy when you’re young and hungry to experience the world.)

    My 2020 was not off to a great start even before COVID. Several avenues I was expecting to be available to me after spending a year running for political office were not welcoming me with open arms. New book? Nope. Ongoing work with one of my favorite customers? Nope.

    Now what?! I started down the path of bringing my skill set back to the corporate sector (vs. the public) and doors began to open. Then, after a fun March day in NYC catching a matinee with a dear friend – BAM – the world closed. It was not a good time, but I will be grateful for this year for a long time.

    There were a lot of silver linings from the chaos of this year. As I said in my prediction article for 2021, remote work will outlast this crisis. I’ve worked from home since the 1990s, but what was different and what I want to remember is the pace. I’ve LOVED staying put on a daily basis. Not running to meetings gave me more time overall.

    The slower pace translated into business being slow as people and companies struggled to figure out how to navigate a COVID world. However, I followed my own advice (after spending March on the couch) recognizing that this was an opportunity and not a catastrophe.

    That allowed for some business pivots, planning and sales results that I’m very pleased with, and it would not have happened if it weren’t for the world standing still.

    2020. Holidays. I finally experienced why I don’t quite succeed year after year at enjoying the holiday season as I’d like to despite preparing earlier and earlier every year. It required no parties, no guests, no shopping in person and no obligations! I do miss seeing people, but the lack of stress was mind-bending. How to achieve that when all the hoopla comes back? I’ll be pondering that.

    I’m compelled to share what made me especially giddy this holiday season. I baked. More specifically, I mastered biscotti after some tutoring from an Italian cooking wizard friend, AND I watched at least one Hallmark Christmas movie every single night! They are awful – and wonderful! Even my very anti-Hallmark husband joined in as we nightly predicted the plots, the scripted lines, and what time the eventual kiss would happen (usually five to ten minutes before the end!) We even came up with a drinking game, but I have to protect my reputation and not tell you what it was. All that to say it was THE BEST holiday season I’ve had in a long time.

    2020 delivered even more by showing me the power of focus and consistency. I’ve always had enough focus to succeed, but with so many pieces dropping out of the picture this year, it became painfully clear how I distract myself to a fault. I’m putting the infrastructure in place now to allow me more freedom like I’ve had lately, when life speeds up again.

    This year also produced a significant mindset shift. On June 1st, I signed up to do online weight training every day for thirty minutes. I turned from flab to muscle again (Hello! I missed you) and with that came a mindset shift. Consistency (not perfection) became my game, and it paid off.

    Moving that consistency every day into my work (even though there wasn’t much going on) progressed into some great insight, risk taking and harnessing energy to get new results. The takeaway is processing that it’s not the big hit right away that marks success, but rather focusing on the ultimate goal by doing more of the right things, more consistently.

    So, 2020 was horrible but it grew me, and I know it grew you. We had to look at ourselves in the mirror because there was just no way to get away from ourselves. We were forced to examine everything, including the cracks in our ceilings (home repairs went up in 2020).

    For some, there were very bad things to contend with. For a lot of us, we found out if we really liked our kids (oh, admit it), their schooling, our work, our partner, our belongings and our assumptions about race, politics and world events. Everything! Hopefully, you still like your peeps, but I know you’ve been changed. We will all be better people for all we’ve been through.

    What I will be most grateful about 2020 was the time. The time to think, to create, to imagine, the time for gatherings at the dinner table every night and yes, the damn Hallmark movies!

  • Forecast 2021: Holiday Cheer, New Year Fear

    COVID holidays: Happy or sad?  Better or worse?  Do it up or don’t bother?

    Whatever you choose, I wish you some peace this holiday season, and I thank you profusely for being a reader of this publication.   

    From the one page newsletter I printed and mailed by hand every month to the digital age of calling this my blog, it’s been a journey that some of you have been on with me from the start. That does not go unnoticed.  If you’re new, I welcome you and am delighted to have you as a part of our community.

    Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you all!

    I’m never the first one to make predictions and rarely am I the first to comment on the controversial.  I take my time and assess. I comment when I feel strongly that I should do so.   It’s out of character, then, that I am going to make some predictions for 2021.

    • COVID-19 will obviously still be a factor for many months. The financial implications and employment picture can paint a very scary picture, but I ask you to look at some positives with me.
    • Living anywhere you want is a possibility in 2021.  Remote work will not stop after COVID-19 restrictions ease up.  Not everyone likes it, but when children are back in school, those that liked working remotely will probably be able to keep doing it.  I’ve already had clients move someplace far from where their employer is with their company’s blessing, and that seems to indicate we’ve proven that face time doesn’t equate to productivity.
    • Your mental health, well-being, and physical health will matter more to companies than it has in the past after getting through COVID-19.   We may actually see an increase investment in such, as it’s become obvious how crises can slow down business significantly.
    • The gig economy got some respect during COVID-19 as many states recognized unemployment benefits for the self-employed for the first time.  The gig worker is not going anywhere, and it is how many people will cope with industry changes and being laid off.
    • The hospitality, live-entertainment, and restaurant industry will be back with a vengeance, yet the question remains as to how much damage was done and did these establishments survive long enough to be resuscitated?  I hope we will have fair lending practices to bring back these staples of our social and cultural life we took for granted.
    • The political climate will improve slightly, but the country remains divided, so it will be up to the individuals to reset the tone.   If a pandemic could not bring people together, a war won’t either. I’m reminded of a secular prayer:  Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.  Fear is divisive and creates scarcity. Peace within us requires hard work, but it needs to be done. Do your part in 2021.
    • Climate events will continue to remind us who is in charge. The automobile industry decided to keep moving ahead with the development of clean energy cars despite some restrictions being lifted.  They know that consumer demand is to save the earth, and the need to do so remains.  When we are out of the COVID-19 disruption,  people will think about this again. 

    Allow me to point out that the two months that most of the world was shut down in March and April, the pollution over China, India, and parts of the U.S. was significantly reduced. We can do this. We just have to have the will.

    • We all know that the stock market doing well is not the equivalent of most of this country’s (U.S.) employees doing well.  The experience of financial comfort will keep pushing upward and not reach downward unless policies change. Any opportunity to upgrade your skills and stay relevant is important to keeping your personal economy doing well.  More work will be automated, so remember to upgrade skills that can’t be automated while staying up-to-date with the latest technology.
    We have to remain nimble and not give in to fears. When we are afraid, we tend to freeze up or want to avoid by doing nothing.  Times of great change are times of great opportunity if you are willing to initiate and NOT wait to see how things work out.   We are going to be OK.  Be an imperfect work in progress and keep moving.

    2021 awaits.  Let me know how I can help.

    “If there is to be peace in the world,
    There must be peace in the nations.
    If there is to be peace in the nations,
    There must be peace in the cities.
    If there is to be peace in the cities,
    There must be peace between neighbors.
    If there is to be peace between neighbors,
    There must be peace in the home.
    If there is to be peace in the home,
    There must be peace in the heart.”
    ― Lao-tse

  • When Someone Else Gets What You Want

    It was my first summer stock season after graduating college, and I had been cast in a five-show season where I would not get to perform the leading role I was chosen for until the fifth and final show. 

    It was a dream role (the Priscilla Lopez role in A Day in Hollywood, A Night in the Ukraine, for fellow enthusiasts).  Meanwhile, I diligently served in the ensemble/chorus of each show, worked in the costume shop, and was a valued team player.

    When the time came for my long-anticipated show, the directorial staff decided that they would split MY performances between me and another actress who had not been featured in a lead during the season.  This actress happened to be my roommate that summer.

    I was 22 years old, and let’s just say I did not take it well.  It was hard to hide my disappointment. Rumors began flying about my reaction and people took sides, pitting me and my roommate against each other.  I eventually came around and shared as graciously as I could, but the damage had been done.

    I was ashamed at my initial reaction; I also questioned my talent since the staff had so easily dismissed everything I contributed while waiting for my turn (so much for contracts in non-union theater). It was not the perfect culmination of a summer season of hard work that I had expected.

    Let’s compare this to you in your workplace or you as an entrepreneur, seeing your competitor achieve something you still hope for.

    Jealousy will likely rear its ugly head if someone with less experience gets the promotion you worked for.  I’ve said it before, but after you feel all the “feels,” it’s prudent to ask yourself (and maybe the hiring entity) some tough questions like, “What do I have to do to win the next promotion?”  “What did this person have/do that I didn’t do (yet)?”

    Fight your primal instinct to perceive scarcity.  If you are an entrepreneur in the online space, there are plenty of buyers. You just have to get better at reaching them.  In a job setting, you may not experience upward mobility, but it doesn’t mean it’s not there or that you couldn’t use your current workplace to catapult you to upward mobility elsewhere.

    Watch the story you create about what this disappointment means. I alluded to my own experience of doubting my talent and believing that maybe that was why management had cut my role.  What happened is a FACT.

      What you make it mean is your interpretation.  Can you change your interpretation (without being delusional) so you can get back to business?

    Grace under fire is a high order, but it’s something leaders embody. There’s a time to speak out, and there’s a time to pull it together and take the high road.  It was hard for my cast to unsee (or not gossip about) my meltdown no matter how much I tried to repair the damage it had caused.  Take 24 hours before responding to a critical email or a disappointment. 

    Create allies rather than enemies.  There is some instant gratification in making someone the villain in your story or to blaming somebody for your disappointment.   It helps you have a justification, and it’s less crushing to blame something or someone outside of yourself than it is to look inside. 

    Not everything is your fault, nor should you beat yourself up, but reclaiming your better self from the hurt/raging part of you will smooth the road to whatever is next.  Does a temper tantrum get you a recommendation if you leave? Does it build your reputation as someone others would want to work with? Those are the things to consider before lashing out and creating enemies in your wake.

    In very distant hindsight, I’d say my 22-year-old self was far too accommodating, and therefore, nobody thought I’d have a problem being a “sweetheart” and sharing the role I sought out, kicked butt at in auditions, and waited all summer to perform.  I still wish I had been able to take the news more gracefully, but over the years, I’ve seen where both my competence and flexibility have hurt me

    . From what I’ve learned, I’m now conscious of when to say no and when to avoid overextending myself. I’ve also decided what behavior represents me and what behavior might be effective (like bullying) but is not what I want to embody.

    What is meant for you?  When we see our career or business as something with a long tail, we can absorb disappointments more easily than if we measure each action or opportunity as the end all and be all.  If it was supposed to be yours, it would’ve been.  Yeah, that over-simplifies things a bit, but it does lessen the blow and allow you to pivot or get on to the next bold move more quickly.

    Maybe the friends from that summer all blocked out the trauma of my disruption, or maybe it’s truly forgotten because they too have matured.  Whichever it is, the key to maintaining a positive career trajectory, even through bitter disappointments, is to realize that they are not the end of the road.
    They are a sign post pointing toward your ultimate destination. So, get back on the road and keep evolving!

    Let us know how we can help.

  • The Twilight Zone: The Worst of Times Can Be the Best of Times

    Twilight by definition is the sunlight scattering above and below the atmosphere so that Earth’s surface is neither completely lit nor completely dark. It’s the “in-between.” The time where it can go either way, light or dark, depending on your position on the earth’s surface.

      In a time in our history where nature is battling against man-made conditions and men and women are having to adapt to climate crises, COVID-19, economic dissonance, and a dizzying daily news cycle, we seem to teeter on the edge of circumstances and our own capacity to deal with them.

    Pay cuts, job loss, home-schooling, and costly and scary climate events are all enough to make you want to assume the fetal position and never come out from under the covers. Sometimes, you just have to say it’s all too much and take a day off.

      But, when you return—when you show up to your life the next day, there is no room to cling to the cloak of doom.  You have to shed it and enter the light side of the “Twilight Zone.”

    Can we hold both the good and the bad at the same time? Being scared and doubtful while still having a vision for a great future and the confidence to get there? 

    I think we can, and  human history shows that we have many times over.  It’s just new for a lot of us.

    COVID-19 has given us an opportunity.   Yes, there are challenges too, but if you no longer have a commute, in person events,  and a busy social life, you have more time. More hours and more mental space for reflection and even innovation.  Yes, innovation.  Your work, your life, and your business can all benefit from this pause, even when it’s incredibly scary and uncertain.

    It’s time to pivot.  It’s time to create.
    In these last several months, my coaching clients have created:
    • A legacy project (while remaining employed) that engages his passions and will serve others for years to come
    • A full reinvention from corporate leader to purposeful community leader
    • Strong habits and business practices that increased revenues for two solopreneurs
    • A job exit plan with a new venture in the wings
    • Strategy and investment in a scale-up and COVID pivot for one business

    What does it take? Simply the willingness to face the problem.  Avoidance is our greatest enemy. The sooner we face the challenge and tell the truth, the less elusive the solution will become.  Clarity will come.

    For those unemployed, furloughed, or concerned that there has been permanent irreversible disruption to your life, you too must face your reality. Don’t wait. Create an “in the meanwhile” opportunity. Maybe get into something you’ve always wanted to do.

    This is not a time to play it safe and wait out the pandemic. Whether you are an employee or running your own show, this is a time to be BOLD.  Chaos calls for leadership, and you get to choose the light and lead.  Fear is normal. Darkness is easy to succumb to. It makes you want to go to sleep! But don’t. Now is not the time to sleep. 

    Stay awake, watch for the inner prompts that arise from a slower schedule, and act. Lean into the light of the twilight.

    Let us know how we can help.

  • Tips, Tricks and Truths to Working from Home

    Tips, Tricks and Truths to Working from Home

    Tips, Tricks and Truths to Working from HomeSummer is winding down as school, work and life tries to find normalcy in a changed world. As someone who has worked from home since the 90’s evolving from a sliver of space in my bedroom in the apartment I shared with my boyfriend (now 27-year husband) to having the bigger of our two home offices with three college-age kids under our roof, I’m devoting this issue to those of you who might be in varied stages of sharing your space.

    I can relate to your pain, but we have to cope and find our way.

    Here are some TRUTHS to remember:

    • Distractions are REAL and CONVENIENT (choose wisely).
    • HOME chores can wait (don’t use them to procrastinate, extra points for multi-tasking that doesn’t disrupt your work).
    • COMPROMISE will have to become your middle name.
    • WORK will take over your life like THE BLOB (make rules and set boundaries).
    • CHILDREN will take over your life like THE BLOB (they are capable of more than you ask of them).
    • PEOPLE WHO HOMESCHOOL (pre-COVID), do not do so six hours a day. 2-3 hours tops! (don’t stress and know that distance learning for six hours is unrealistic for most kids but especially elementary school and middle school).
    • LIFE IS NOT FAIR (just a reminder).
    Here are some TIPS to consider:
    • DO what you DREAD MOST first (do the hardest thing first).
    • ASK for meeting agendas (or provide them) so your time is not wasted.
    • CREATE a space for each worker/student in your home (even if you are just in separate corners).
    • DETERMINE DAILY SCHEDULES in concert with all household member (even young kids) There is less conflict when everyone knows in advance what is going on.
    • DETERMINE who needs one-on-one time to perform best and who doesn’t (your team members or kids).
    • GET ALONE time for a few minutes a day even if it means waking earlier.
    Here are some TRICKS to try:
    • AUTOMATE what you can (grocery delivery, workflow, use your technology)
    • Have kids EARN screen time or other privileges that used to be a given (delegate those chores!)
    • INCLUDE younger kids in your work (can they make copies, write a legal argument or presentation? (just to keep them busy, not for reals, silly! My daughter wrote a book when she was six while I was writing mine—gave me gaps of time to work!)
    • MULTI-TASK your down time. Yes, we all deserve to just turn off and do nothing or watch TV, but we can also fold laundry, sew on a button, pay bills or some of the other chores that don’t need to happen during the workday.

    This is no picnic but how soon we’ll be back to “normal” is anybody’s guess. We may find some new ways of working and doing school that will transcend COVID time and become a good thing in the long run.

    I have no doubt you are creative and resourceful. I hope these ideas help.

    P.S. I’ve avoided suggesting too many things that require high costs. I know there are people hiring their own teacher in a pod or paying for all in-home services or deliveries. Not all have those avenues available. Where can you join forces with someone who could use more help? How do we find solutions that work for everybody?

  • Should You Cast a Wider Net?

    In uncertain times, we want to be open to any and all possibilities. It sounds like a logical strategy. Except, it’s not. It’s like being at a shooting range and firing your weapon in all directions hoping one of your shots hits the target.

    Should You Cast a Wider Net Career TransitionA sharp-shooter, an archery master, a martial arts practitioner, even a gymnast, all have to focus their energy into one contained, clear, and accurate attempt at their goal.

    The same goes for figuring out what your next career move or what you want to do with your life.

    There is a time for casting a wide net, experimenting, gathering intel as you network and try things, but when you want results – a job offer, a new career direction altogether, or to achieve a big goal in your own business, it takes attention and singular focus to fully find success.

    In the last few weeks, I’ve been privy to conversations that highlight our tendency to choose safety over our true desires. One client spoke with passion about a training program that would bring him the knowledge and direction to future work that was exciting and challenging.

    He knew what was calling him, but he still brought me an angst-filled conversation about casting a wider net with a different training program to cover all his bases.

    Did he want to spend two years studying in that domain? No. Did that setting even appeal to him? No. He told me no! Then why even have it on the docket?

    Deidre just took a severance package to give herself time to plan the next chapter of her life. She could afford to make a big change. She could even retire if she really wanted to.

    Week after week, we made steady progress on her discoveries towards what mattered to her and what next steps may be.

    And week after week, she would report on jobs friends asked her to interview for that did not yield offers. She was spinning with uncertainty and anxiety.

    She would readily admit that she didn’t really want a new job, but she kept feeling compelled to stay in the game. Why? The devil she knew was better than the unknown future we kept trying to lasso in.

    Stop covering your bases.

    Wider is not better. More is not better when you already know what you want to do. Bearing the discomfort of the unknown comes with great reward. When you know — when the path does become clear – it’s a feeling that will compel you to take action and make your desires come true. Focus on the target and put all your energy THERE.

    Let us know how we can help . . .