• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
Now What?® Coaching

Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

  • Login
  • About
    • About Laura
    • Our Philosophy
    • Praise
  • Hire a Facilitator
    • Hire Laura
  • Become a Facilitator
  • Online Courses
    • Career Clarity & Direction
    • Career Clarity & Direction: Self-Guided Course
    • Job Search Academy
  • Products
  • Blog
  • Contact

Now What? Newsletter Articles

I Want To Quit!!!

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 12, 2014

QUITExploring next career moves, doing a job search or starting a new endeavor like your own business are all daunting and often, frustrating propositions.

Many times you’ll come up against a lack of results or clarity that dumps a heap of hopelessness on you in the from of “I want to quit!!” Should you?

To quit or not to quit? What do you think I’m going to say? No! Of course, you don’t quit. Not yet anyway.

I always say: “ Life will tell you if you’re wrong. YOU don’t need to decide”. Roadblocks, a lack of results, obstacles and setbacks—those could all certainly be interpreted as life saying, “give up”. But maybe there’s another message.

If you were running a race or working out at the gym and you experienced pain, you’d have the choice to stop or to work through it. Most athletes work through it being sensitive to the threshold where they’d cause major injury. The smart ones also know to build in recovery time in between the big competitions or work outs.

When it comes to your exploration or ramp-up, ‘pain’ can mean, “Wait!” Just pull back, observe, divert your attention to something else to gain perspective and then
re-engage.

Taking your foot off the accelerator and coasting in ‘neutral’ for a bit can go a long way to knowing whether to proceed and how to do so or whether to redirect your energies to something else altogether.

Maureen is Senior VP in the finance industry and she has been on a campaign to further her career. She knew it wasn’t time to begin a job search but she did feel that strategizing a way to be better known and more valuable in her organization as well as her industry at large, was necessary to her future plans.

She made a Herculean commitment to networking and even cold calling at an ambitious pace of several times a week. She was quite successful and then hit a wall. People weren’t calling back at the same rate, the lunch meetings weren’t happening and the pipeline was drying up.

There was some harsh self-criticism, berating herself for quitting her pace, but we reframed that to allow herself some breathing room. In the open space, an opportunity appeared to be given larger responsibility along with greater exposure within her company. Succeeding at the new task would be a huge boost and resume-building highlight which would poise her for a promotion or better opportunity elsewhere.

Let’s call what happened to Maureen the result of ‘focused in-action’. She wasn’t giving up but she was allowing a break to see what might emerge. In this case, an opportunity came up but you might find inspiration for a different strategy, the idea to call on someone else you may need to talk to or you may find a slight course correction.

The next time you want to quit, take a break instead. Allow some focused in-action and pick up within two to three weeks. If you go longer, it will become unfocused in-action and you could derail. If nothing emerges in your break, you may need to go back to drawing board. It’s OK.TakeABreak

Quit? Never. You may have to go a different way but keep your eye on the ultimate prize—-a satisfying line of work. It just may look different than you thought.
Let us know how we can help.

Filed Under: Now What? Newsletter Articles Tagged With: Career Change, Career coach, Career Coaching, Laura Berman Fortgang, life coach, life coaching, networking, new direction

Seven-Year Itch

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 17, 2014

by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

itch Laura July newsletter

On the seventh month of the year, I am reminded about the ‘Seven-Year-Itch.’ If you’re not familiar with that term, it’s usually used in the context of romantic relationships or marriage where the newness is gone and there could be a growing restlessness to explore new horizons. Further back in time, around 1900, it was a skin disease that had a seven-year cycle. It’s also known that every seven years the cells in our bodies have run a cycle and are renewed. And finally, from a personal growth standpoint, we too evolve to a new level every seven years or so.

If you are in a period of career restlessness, take a look at the seven-year cycles in your life. Are you coming up on one or have you just passed one? Then it makes perfect sense that you are crawling in your skin to take on a new iteration.

Imagine a butterfly coming out of a cocoon or a snake shedding its skin. These are great mirrors in nature of what you are going through. The pain of change comes in the resistance to this natural flow or in the fear of what you must let go of to allow the evolution.

RESIST

Are you resisting change? How would you know? You’d busy yourself to not ‘have time’ to make any changes. You may be irritable or avoidant when the subject of taking action to rectify your dissatisfaction comes up. You may have a litany of ‘reasons’ why you are stuck or unable to make a change.

FEAR

Are you afraid of scratching the itch? Most of the symptoms mentioned above also confirm fear but other signs of fear might be resorting to blame or taking on a victim role. Fear could also show up as complete paralysis. No action, no thought, perhaps sleeping too much or finding other ways to numb yourself like drinking, watching too much TV, using drugs or engaging in other less-than-forward-moving habits.

ENDURE

If the ‘itch’ is at the boredom level and has not quite escalated to misery, it’s time to spice things up a bit. Spearhead a project, forge new workplace alliances or network outside of your current world. Challenge yourself by taking on a new task or skill. Do something to grow personally and professionally.

However, if you are approaching misery or have been unhappy with your work life for a long time, the change that’s calling is more radical and avoiding it longer will not help. You always have the option of starting to take small steps to invite change. However, you likely know in your gut, as I do, that it’s time to pull a piece out of the ‘Jenga’ game and let the whole thing fall so that you can build anew.

Something’s trying to emerge. Will you let it?

 

Filed Under: Now What? Newsletter Articles Tagged With: career

You Asked, You Got, Then Came Trouble

By Laura Berman Fortgang on June 17, 2014

by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

Have you ever had the experience of setting out to make a positive change in your life, only to have it start an avalanche of changes that scares andAvalanches  overwhelms you?

A few of my clients have had this experience lately and I’ve seen it a lot over the years.

Sometimes the avalanche of change is full of desirable things piggy-backing on the positive step you wanted to make in the first place. Other times, the avalanche is more saboteurial in nature, distracting you from where you really want to go. Both can derail you. Read on to find out how to keep it in check.

IS THIS YOU?: THE HAPPY AVALANCHE

You’ve been miserable for a long time. You know you want to make a move, and even know what it is, but you are not sure how you would do it or what it would look like exactly . You take a chance, hire a coach, quickly get clear and start taking scary steps. Suddenly, everything you want and more than you could ever dream of starts to pour in—Miraculous coincidences, lucky moves, desires fulfilled! What to do?

Believe it or not, most people know to be grateful, but there is something very unsettling about the floodgates opening up. People start behaving like they’re drowning. Overwhelmed, breathless, and the opportunities are forcing them to grow and make decisions at an alarming rate, somewhat in a panic. Often, this happens while simultaneously trying to complete the old job, task, or relationship you are letting go of.

ACTION ONE: Breathe!

Slow down the pace of change simply by relaxing into your body. Breathe more deeply, walk more slowly, take the time to answer thoughtfully. Don’t get swept up in the wave.

ACTION TWO: Make peace with failure

If you’re not perfect keeping up your old activities as you navigate the new, forgive yourself. Delegate what you can. Do what’s most important, but let it be OK if something falls through the cracks. That goes for the new adventure too. Certainly, striking while the iron is hot is important but know that you are learning and that there will be unexpected turns. Forgive yourself.

ACTION THREE: Stop being a Lone Ranger

Change is hard. You don’t have to do it alone. Sometimes it comes so fast, we don’t feel we have time to reach out, but reach out you must. A mentor in your new chosen endeavor, friends who can just listen or help, or even a hired assistant to temporarily do some grocery shopping, chores, errands or child wrangling if possible. If you’re working with a coach, use them well during the avalanche.

IS THIS YOU? THE SABOTEUR AVALANCHE

You’ve been ready to explode for a long time or maybe you’ve gotten sick of hearing yourself complain so you hired a coach and got going trying to forge new directions. Clarity starts to come because you start admitting to yourself out loud what you really want for yourself. You work hard to start moving in that direction, thwarting old habits and traps, things start looking hopeful and then BAM! small disasters start happening. You catch a flu bug, someone dear passes away, your job gets more demanding leaving no time for yourself and you’re a victim of identity theft. Yea, it’s not OR it’s AND. The saboteur avalanche doesn’t mess around. It’s usually not just ONE thing that gets in the way. What do you do?

I do find that people who have been holding off doing what they know they need to do for many years, tend to have the nastier avalanche. However, it’s important not to blame yourself. CHAOS is how the world reorganizes itself. And it happens. You did not DO anything to bring this on. The test is not whether you caused it, but rather, how you deal with it.

ACTION ONE: Breathe (funny—the same for both types)

Slow your breath to get a grip on the changes.

ACTION TWO: Don’t take it personally

Stuff happens. Don’t let it erode your sense of self. Watch how you talk to yourself in your head. Stop blaming yourself or thinking disparaging things. Do whatever you can to not ADD to the DRAMA. As you talk to others and as you deal with the losses or changes, try to remain neutral. If you editorialize and overdramatize, you add fuel to the fire by whacking out your adrenal glands and making your body remain in the stressed state too long -Tough for getting your wits about you and persevering.

ACTION THREE: DO NOT give up

Too many times, I see people give up. Like being in the Indy 500 and just pulling over to quit, you’re more likely to get seriously hurt. Yes, timing is a factor and sometimes it pays to wait, but when the nasty avalanche happens, it’s not a sign that you were NOT meant to have what you want or that you were heading in the wrong direction. It is just a BIG nasty test to see how badly you want what you say you want.

DO NOT GIVE UP. NO matter which kind of avalanche shows up, do one small thing a day (or at least a few times a week!) to keep moving in the new direction. It will pay off.

Change is hard. That’s why most people don’t do it. But you ARE doing it, and that deserves applause. BRAVO! Now get to work.

Filed Under: Now What? Newsletter Articles

Are Your Knuckles White?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 13, 2014

by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

14802693 character and cliffwhite-knuckle: adj.

1. causing fear, apprehension, or panic

2. experiencing fear, terror, or apprehension

When I hear the term ‘white-knuckling’ I get the image of someone dangling from a cliff or a building holding on for dear life. And it’s that image that comes to mind working recently with two career transition clients. Two wonderful, smart people holding on for dear life to old versions of themselves,  knowing full-well they needed to move on to new horizons but unable to do so because of overwhelming fear.

Are you white knuckling? It sounds so simple when it’s someone else, right? What are they afraid of, you might ask? What’s the big deal?

In one case, the big deal was a doctor fearing she might never get back into medicine if she left it. The other stay-at-home wife who suddenly needed to find a way to make her own way in the world. “Who would hire me? What could I possibility do?”, she kept saying to herself and me.

The hardest part about both of these scenarios was not finding an answer to the future. The hardest part was prying their fingers off the ledge. It took a handful of weeks for each of them, but once they let go, the answers started to come quickly and the ‘coincidences’ that led to new opportunities multiplied equally fast.

If you are similarly stuck, how do you let go of the ledge?

Left Brain/Right Brain: Your left brain will feed you all the logical reasons why considering a new move would be career suicide and detrimental to your safety. (After all, not changing, your left-brain and ego will tell you, is safer than changing)

Your right brain conjured up the new direction you are considering and your body has told you over and over how very miserable you are feeling as you maintain the status quo.

The two will be in conflict until you let go of the ledge. Decide with the following criteria:

What Feels Good?: Fear will make this tough to discern, but under calm consideration, which feels better? The scary scenario your left-brain has conjured up or the scary (but admittedly exciting) scenario your right brain is suggesting?

Get out of your head for a moment and really FEEL the two. Spend a few minutes, with your eyes closed, imagining what it feels like to stay where you are, safe in the comfort of what you know. Then, switch and do the same and feel what it feels like to live in the possible new scenario.

Which feels better? Now, which state would you rather live in?

Peel Away Your Grip: Now let go. Take a few steps in whichever direction you decided felt better. Talk to a few people in the new area of possibility or make some new moves where you have decided to stay.

Start moving in the world of your next step. See how that world responds to you. Upon letting go of the ledge, you should expect to feel better. If you don’t, repeat step two and try again.

It’s my experience that when clients relax their grip on the past (white knuckling), the luck and synchronicity they encounter moving forward is remarkable. It still takes effort, and fearless networking, but the YES’s come faster and faster.

Our doctor let go of her old position and started talking to people about different healing modalities and integrative medicine practices outside of mainstream medicine and is now signed up for  training and conferences in these new areas of interest. In her heart, she knew that her place was in the healing arts. That could appear in many forms, but she needed to leave the old one she was clinging to in order to find any new possibility.   There is no shortage of opportunities or people to talk to now that she’s stopped white-knuckling.

Our newly independent woman has landed her first job with a very decent paycheck, turning her personal interests and very capable volunteer–based  leadership experience into a Managing Director title in a New York City organization.

Are your knuckles white? Stop doing your best Indiana Jones imitation and LET GO.

Not sure where to begin? Have your questions answered about your career transition and hear from other like-minded folks. JOIN our FREE Now What?® Community Call on May 21st.

 

Filed Under: Now What? Newsletter Articles

Is It OK To Be Content?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on April 8, 2014

by  Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

CherubAfter speaking to one-thousand people at a conference complete with Q&A and spending a weekend with retreat participants who had life-changing ah-ha’s, one question that stuck with me in the two weeks hence was: “Is it OK to be content?”

Asked of me by someone in my career clarity and life direction workshop, my answer was ‘of course, ’ but the question lingered. It made me consider that the answer is conditional.  Being content is a great thing; however, I’ve also observed it can be an avoidance technique.  I’ve only met a few people in my lifetime who seemed truly content when they said they were. The rest of the people said they were content as if they were giving up.  There’s a difference between not wanting anything because you’re content and not wanting anything because you don’t think you can have it.

Do we have to be pursuing something? Do we have to have goals? Do we have to be improving ourselves in some way all the time?  Absolutely not!  And I mean that.

At the same time, I see contentment like hunger. You can eat without stuffing yourself and stop at the point where you are just sated. Eventually, you will get hungry again. That’s how I see human growth and potential. There’s always something to explore or want.  It’s OK to coast sometimes, it’s OK to have priorities other than your own fulfillment (if you have children or a demanding job (paid or unpaid) you know that for sure), but eventually there will be a longing.  It’s the price we pay for being human.

Are YOU content? 

Do you feel tremendous gratitude for your life?

Do you feel relative ease with the decisions on your plate now?

Do you feel at peace with yourself despite any shortcomings?

Do you have virtually nothing in your life that disrupts that peace?

Do you feel buoyed and connected to yourself, others and life?

If you answered yes to all of those, you are in the minority and you are to be congratulated. Does that automatically put the rest of us in discontent? Not necessarily. But if you say you’re content, it doesn’t mean you will be without wants.  It just means you are OK with or without getting what you desire.

The woman who asked me the question cried a lot over the weekend and blamed me for ‘doing that to [her]’. She said she was content until she sat through the weekend.

Content? Maybe. But more likely previously numb because the truth was too much to bear.

I am sympathetic. Change is frightening and not knowing how to change something is even more isolating and scary.

Mahatma Gandhi said: “Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.”

It is OK to be content.  It’s wonderful.  I wish it for us all.  But if we’re not, it’s better to be honest about it and realize that it’s not something to be afraid of.  “The only way out is through.”*

*Robert Frost

Filed Under: Now What? Newsletter Articles

Got Dogg? (Dogged Determination That Is)

By Laura Berman Fortgang on February 17, 2014

by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang

I live with four stubborn mules.  They also happen to be my husband and children.dog jump

(Whose idea was it to put a coach in the home of the UNCOACHABLESTM?)

I have to use great skill to rally support for unpopular notions even if that notion is a vacation to Alaska rather than Disney World. (OK, my husband was with me on that one) Our family can’t even agree on a movie to watch or which restaurant to grab a quick meal at.  I have to find openings where there aren’t any and I have to be creative in my approach to each person and each issue.

What does all this have to do with you, the reader of a career transition blog?  A lot.

If you’re in a job search or researching a new idea for your next career move or you’re testing the feasibility of a business idea or anything that requires discipline and determination,  you have to do the same.  Find openings where there are none and approach each situation with creativity.

You need DOGGED DETERMINATION.

How do we develop determination and tenacity?

You have to REALLY want it—How can you be determined and willing to do whatever it takes to succeed if you don’t really want what you are after in the first place?  You have to want tenacity and you have to want what you are after.  REALLY want it.

Yes, we sometimes have to do things just out of need or responsibility, but finding something behind your quest that inspires you is essential to sticking with it.

Humans need a strong WHY to move forward.  Find your WHY, love your WHY, and commit to your WHY!

You have to narrow your focus—Throwing it out there and see what sticks isn’t the best strategy.  Even if you have several areas of interest, narrow it down to two or three until you feel you have exhausted every possibility.  Then, add another focus if needed.  Determination can’t be spread thin.  It needs a very distinct target.

Create daily accountability—Whether it’ll be a reward system you set up for yourself, work with a partner/buddy to keep pace with or you are one of the lucky ones who can keep promises to yourself really well, determination builds with the union of heart, mind and action.  What will you do today towards ‘the dream’?

Be creative and ignore the norm— Most people get very stymied by the lack of response to their conventional attempts at their goals.  No response from a resume or building a website and not getting very many visitors, for example.  Developing determination,  once at to this point, you have to ask “Got Dogg?!”

Determined people don’t stop at the norm.  They bust out and become creative about how to reach their audience whether that be the hiring entity or your audience who buys from you.

This is a tricky area.  How do you get creative and still stay within appropriate boundaries?  Showing up on a camel dressed in exotic garb may get you attention, but not the job.  However, doing such for your new Middle Eastern restaurant in town might bring you customers.  Regardless, the point is to find the openings and opportunities to do things differently and get used to sticking out.

As one of my advisors, Vince Poscente,  told me recently: “You have to do what your competition is not willing to do.”

You can build the determination muscle for yourself.  Practice and don’t give up.  In the meanwhile, I’ll be determined to keep negotiating with the UncoachablesTM and look to where I am uncoachable myself.

Got Dogg?  You better!

 

Filed Under: Now What? Newsletter Articles Tagged With: job search

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 40
  • Page 41
  • Page 42
  • Page 43
  • Page 44
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 50
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Pinpoint–and plan-a fulfilling "next chapter" of your career with the Now What?® Program

Start Today

Buy Now

Sign up for Laura’s mailing list so you don’t miss a thing!

[gravityform id=”3″ title=”false” description=”false” ajax=”true”]

Disclaimer |
Site Usage and Privacy Policy  |  Facilitator Zone

Copyright © 2026 Now What?® Coaching. All Rights Reserved.

Login

Lost Your Password?