A recurring theme has been showing up in my conversations with clients and people in my community over the past couple of weeks — a spirit of discontent.
More than usual, people seem to be disappointed and miffed that they’ve missed some arbitrary mark.
I have to admit — if I were new to coaching, I might be feeling a little distressed myself. But I’ve been at this for decades now, and I know exactly what’s going on here. It’s the end of the year…
Folks have launched businesses, filled programs, and met revenue goals. They’ve been featured in magazines, interviewed on popular podcasts, and appeared on TV. They published books, got promoted, or quit their corporate job. Impressive stuff!
But it wasn’t enough. And for some, it’s never enough.
Especially around this time of year, as people pause to reflect, I’ve come to expect it. So I thought you could use a heads-up . . .
No matter how much you’ve accomplished in 2023, there’s a good chance you might find yourself feeling it too: you didn’t do enough, your results weren’t enough, and you are not enough.
However, I want you to know this —
Suffering happens when you don’t meet your own expectations. The tricky part is that your expectations can become a moving target as your hopes, dreams, and aspirations evolve, grow, and become influenced by what you see around you.
How can you reduce this suffering?
Remember that ambition — Your passionate and dedicated drive to want more is good! BUT discontent — the feeling that you’ve let yourself down — doesn’t do you any good.
How do you strike the sweet spot? I have to thank my good friend, best-selling author and writing coach Jennifer Louden, for this one. She suggests coming up with your very own “conditions of enoughness.”
Look inward, give it some deep thought, and determine…
What is enough money?
What are enough sales?
What is enough time?
What is enough fame?
How will I know when I have enough?
How will I know when my desires are met?
You control the relationship you have with your desires. How’s that going for you?
When you’re not happy because you’ve let yourself down, you’re causing your own suffering. It’s often what causes that paralysis — when you want something better but can’t bring yourself to take action. The tension forms a chasm that’s difficult to close.
Creating from a wounded place means creating more suffering. Everything becomes more difficult.
If you want to experience success, fulfillment, peace, and happiness, you must find your “conditions of enoughness.” From there, striving for more is easy; it can come and go, and you’re still okay.
Creating from a place of contentment not only feels better, but it’s your ticket to experiencing the success you desire.
Leave a Reply