Now What?® Coaching

Category: Lessons Learned

Are You Playing The Short Game or The Long Game?

We live in a time when people expect instant results.

And I get it.

When you’re in a difficult spot, stuck in a rut, and feel like you just can’t take it anymore — and you finally reach a breaking point where you want out…

You want OUT, and you want out fast.

But the tricky thing is your career and business happiness, fulfillment, and success requires playing the long game.

Getting caught up in short-term wins (a.k.a. survival mode) is what causes things to go wrong. It’s exactly why when people make rash moves, they often find themselves right back where they started.

Here’s what I mean —

I was talking to someone recently who was incredibly unhappy with their job. It was a classic case of overwhelm. Demanding boss. Grueling expectations. Excruciating schedule. Worst of all, this person felt trapped with no time to plot an escape or even figure out where else to go.

This is a tough but all-too-common catch-22 scenario. “I’ve got to find a new thing, but my current thing is consuming all of me, so I can’t.”

In another recent conversation, I was talking to a business owner. She was complaining to me that relationship building—getting on the phone, meeting up in person, and cultivating trust with her network—was taking up a heck of a lot of time.

From her perspective, building a business online – getting out there on social media, creating a brand, and following some marketing guru’s “simple step-by-step approach” – looked a whole lot faster and easier.

When assessing each of their sets of circumstances, I had the same question:
“Do you want to play the long game or the short game?”

The reality was, both of these folks were getting beat up pretty badly. They were letting their work get the best of them — allowing it to pack their calendar, drain their energy, and essentially, take over their lives.

No carving out time for what mattered most.
No focus on yielding the results they wanted.
No self-reflection, balance, or fulfillment.

Nothing but work, work, work … on the kind of stuff they didn’t want to be doing.

Fair warning: If you keep allowing yourself to get pummeled like this, there’s going to be a breakdown. I see it all the time! (Did you read last week’s email about burnout?!)

Stuck in a job or career that’s taking over your life? You have to find a way to carve out at least 30 minutes a day to plot your escape.

Looking for the best bang for your buck as a business owner? You have to focus on what’s working rather than getting distracted by empty promises of what may or may not work for you.

Improving your circumstances is all about optimizing your time, maximizing your efforts, and getting clear on what you really want.

If you wish to succeed on your terms, you must be willing to play the long game.

You have to think like an athlete — doing the conditioning, committing to workouts, and building muscle between games and wins. It’s not always fun or easy, but it’s worth the victory.

What can you do now to get yourself ready to reach your long-term goals?

December 16, 2022
How to Make Your 2023 Burnout Free

I don’t have to tell you we’ve all been through a tough few years.

Collectively.

Like me, you’ve probably had some personal things going on individually too. But the shared experience of a global pandemic, political unrest, economic uncertainty, and more is clearly taking its toll on us.

The zeitgeist is groaning about BURNOUT, and the grumble keeps getting louder.

The Great Resignation, the “return to office” push, quiet quitting, and the looming recession (or not?) are all symptoms of and contributors to this aggregate fatigue.

Burnout is on everybody’s mind. If you’re not suffering from it, you know someone who is.

I haven’t been quiet about the fact that it hit me hard in 2022. Even with all of my awareness and tools as a Master Certified Coach, it was rough.

Fortunately, I was able to recognize what was happening and knew exactly what to do. But I learned some valuable new lessons too.

If you find yourself struck with a bout of burnout, here’s what you need to know to cope and hopefully avoid it in the future —

1. You can’t outrun burnout. 

Once you’re crispy and toasty around the edges, working harder to overcome it won’t work. You have to accept it and surrender to the idea that some balls are going to be dropped. And that’s okay!

Being in a prolonged state of fight or flight means your nervous system is shot and you’re heading into adrenal fatigue. You have to focus your remaining energy on healing. (Google: “how to heal adrenal fatigue”)

Eating nutritious foods, moving your body, spending time in nature, and meditating can make a tremendous difference in supporting your physical and emotional health.

2. You must ask for support. 

Not getting the kind of support you want? Chances are at least some of the people that seem to have abandoned you are having trouble coping too, or they simply don’t know what to do.

Ask for the help you need; be specific. You’ll find that folks often step up … but only when you call on them. Let them know when, where, and how to show up for you.

The calvary may not be coming to your rescue, but you’ll have more help than you had before the ask — enough to take some of the pressure off.

3. Stop overperforming. 

All too often, we set unsustainably high expectations for ourselves, and people come to expect us to go above and beyond. But the reality is, we’re overdoing it in ways that are just not necessary.

It’s time to focus on what really makes a difference — in your job, your family, and all aspects of life. Drop the perfectionism and embrace what matters most.

4. Be careful with your media consumption. 

When you’ve run out of gas and want to chillax in front of the TV, steer clear of shows that trigger fear or toxic thoughts.

My recommendation these days? The Waltons. Yes, the old 1970s classic that harkens back to Depression-era/WWII-homefront perseverance. Trust me on this! It’s wholesome, progressive, endearing, and just the thing to put your mind at ease and lift your spirits.

I hope you’ll use these tips to ease into 2023 refreshed, recharged, and ready to take on the new year with zeal.

December 9, 2022
The Often-Overlooked Secret Behind Success

In my line of work, I get to meet a lot of interesting people with interesting stories.

We’re talking about career change and personal growth, so these stories often include tales of facing obstacles, reevaluating priorities, and starting or scaling a business.

I coach folks throughout their journey, so we’re meeting at various stages along the way.

Sometimes they’re working a corporate job with dreams of making a side business their full-time gig.

Sometimes they’ve started a business but hit a plateau because they have too much on their plate and not enough help to get it all done.

And sometimes they’re somewhere in between…

We’re all grappling with various questions and challenges, and that’s okay — as long as we’re willing to ask for guidance, help, and input from those who are a few steps ahead.

No matter what it is, there’s always someone who’s been there, done that, and can make the next leg of your career or business journey easier for you.

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to sit down with Sadie Prestridge — founder of Prestridge & Co., an Executive Virtual Assistant agency.

An interesting person with an interesting story, I invited her to sit down with me and chat on my weekly Friday Focus. (You can catch me Fridays at 10am eastern on my Linked in Profile, Instagram (@LauraBFortgang) or our Facebook Group HERE)

You won’t want to miss this conversation — Watch in our Facebook Group

If you’re a business owner, feeling overwhelmed by all of your to-do’s — and not even sure what to do day-to-day to grow sustainably — here’s a tip: you have to hire help before you need it. It’s the only way to level up without coming unglued!

This is the often-overlooked secret behind the success stories you hear about.

Sadie shared some fantastic, practical advice that will help you identify, prepare for, and find the kind of support you need.

Only familiar with task-oriented virtual assistants? You might be surprised by what an executive VA can do.

If you’re working a day job, looking to quit, and wondering what it really takes to go out on your own, Sadie also shares the behind-the-scenes scoop on what it took to get her agency off the ground (sans the phony overnight success nonsense we’re all so sick of hearing). I think you’ll find her story inspiring.

December 4, 2022
The Power of “Thanksgiving” in Your Career and Business

I’m enjoying family time this holiday weekend in the U.S., and I hope you’re having a wonderful day wherever you are in the world too.

One of the things I love most about this time of year is having a big, hearty reminder to reflect on what I’m most thankful for.

As you may know, positive psychology research has proven that practicing gratitude is a powerful way to boost your happiness, health, ability to endure challenges, and so much more.

Remembering to focus on gratitude for what you already have versus the pain of what you don’t have not only shifts your perspective but also positively affects your biology, energy, and nervous system. It’s potent stuff!

With advantages aplenty, building a gratitude practice — even a small one — can be an indispensable tool for your career, business, and life success toolbox year-round.

As we wrap up the year, this nudge to be thankful is a gift — no matter your traditions.

When giving thanks in the season, I want to challenge you to go deeper. Fix your attention not so much on the things you have but on the people who matter most to you and why.

What do you really value about them?

Thinking, “I’m grateful to have this person as a client,” is one thing. But thinking, “I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to expand my skills, the sense of fulfillment and joy I felt in knowing my expertise produced results, the creativity sparked by their ideas, the inspiration spurred by their passion…” and so forth makes a difference.

Going deeper into your gratitude amplifies the intensity of the practice as a tool.

Expressing gratitude in this way helps people to feel seen and truly appreciated. In return, they are more likely to see and appreciate you, strengthening your relationship and creating mutual validation — “Hey, we’re in this together and want the best for one another moving forward.”

This is the benefit of deep “thanksgiving.”

What have you learned from the person? How have you grown through your relationship with them? What would you have missed out on if your paths hadn’t crossed?

As you reach out to family, friends, colleagues, clients, partners, students, mentors, and other influential people in your life over the coming weeks, offer the gift of deep “thanksgiving.”

Here’s what that might look like —
”If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have…”
“You inspired me to…”
“You taught me X, so therefore I can do Y…”

Be specific. Be generous. Let people know they matter. Watch your gift of “thanksgiving” produce bountiful returns in the new year and beyond.

November 27, 2022
Here’s How to Overcome Procrastination

We’re heading into the holiday season, and I’m hearing lots of talk about hanging it up for the year — postponing job searches, client prospecting, and important projects until January.

Yes, you deserve a break and plenty of time for celebrations. But in many cases, the holidays are just the excuse du jour to cover for a stubborn case of procrastination.

Procrastination is a tough habit to break. We know better, yet we keep doing it anyway.

You put something off for far too long, and you kick yourself later. It could’ve been so much easier, less stressful, and more successful if you’d timed it better.

So what gives?

Why do we continue procrastinating when we know we’ll pay the price for it?

It could be any number of things, but the big one: FEAR

This sometimes surprises people. “Fear? Fear of what!?” You convince yourself that you’re putting things off because you’re busy or tired or have too much else going on. And sometimes you just don’t wanna.

But more often than not, there’s something else going on beneath the excuses.

When I dig a little deeper with clients, here’s what I find:
Fear of failing. “What if my idea totally bombs?”
Fear of not being good enough. “What if I try and don’t make the cut?”
Fear of conflict. “What if I bring this up, and they get upset with me?”
Fear of success. “What if my book’s a hit, and I have to be in the spotlight?”
Fear of change. “What if I lose the weight and look so great I can’t handle the attention?”

All of this leads to procrastination. It sends us into loops of anxiety about doing it and not doing it. It stops people from achieving their goals.

How do you overcome procrastination?

Look at the fear behind it. That’s where you’ll find the keys to what you need to unlock.

Take some form of action. Pick one: Do it. Delegate it. Dump it. Don’t know how to do it, or don’t want to? Delegate it. If it’s truly not a priority? Dump it and let it go. Clear the way for what’s most important.

Focus on the prize. What’s your WHY? As the outcome of doing this thing — what do you want to have? Who do you want to become? Dangle the carrot and go after it.

In my line of work, I encounter far too many people who let procrastination stop them from making their next move. Whether it’s something routine that needs to get done, a power play needed to make progress, or pursuing a big scary life changing dream — don’t let procrastination stop you.

It’s a habit you can break if you recognize it for what it really is and commit to working on it.

November 20, 2022
Lessons From My Jigsaw Puzzles

I have a thing for jigsaw puzzles. Big, 1,000-piece brain twisters — the harder they are, the better.

I love a challenge! It’s the best way to learn. So I thought I’d share some insights I’ve picked up along the way while sorting through piles of chaos and piecing it all together…

Lesson #1: Start with Structure

If you’ve ever done a puzzle, you’ve probably noticed that it’s easiest to start with the edges. Lining up the pieces with flat sides first allows you to build a frame. That framework serves as a strong starting point — a structure for completing the rest of the puzzle.

The same holds true for your life, career, or business.

When people have trouble achieving a goal, a lack of structure is usually to blame.

Starting with a framework provides a clear path forward.

Lesson #2: Perspective Matters

When working on a puzzle, I vary my approach along the way. Sometimes I look for colors, sometimes shapes. Sometimes I move the puzzles around, move myself around, stand up, and look down.

Shifting my perspective helps me see the big picture.

When solving a problem in business or in life, try looking at it from different angles. You may be surprised by what you find.

Lesson #3: Give Yourself a Break

At some point, while doing a puzzle, I always walk away and take a break. Whether it’s for an hour or a day, the same thing always happens. As soon as I get back, all of a sudden, I see where pieces fit where I couldn’t find them before.

Stepping away means I’m suddenly able to see things more clearly when I return.

This works for other kinds of conundrums too. Struggling to find the answer? Take a break, go for a walk, have some tea. You’ll return with so much more clarity.

Lesson #4: Keep Going!

I said I love a challenge, but sometimes puzzles become downright frustrating. When the going gets too tough, I want to quit! But I imagine destroying all the work I’ve done and decide to keep going.

No matter what tough goal you’re pursuing, you’re going to want to quit at some point. The reality is, sometimes quitting is appropriate. But you have to be willing to look at how far you’ve come and assess the situation carefully to determine if it’s worth the effort to keep going. Hint: it usually is!

Lesson #5: Pass It On

Once I’ve completed a puzzle, it never goes back on the shelf. There are still lessons to be had, so I pass it on to a friend.

I do the same thing in life and in business. When I solve a problem, I pass it on. I strive to be of service, and it always comes back to me in some way. I encourage you to do the same. Be generous in your work and see what happens.

Solve your career “puzzle” by doing the “soul search” before the job search with us and start the new year with FOCUS, CLARITY and ACTION!

November 13, 2022