Now What Coaching

You Can’t Go Back to Before — And That’s the Point

By Laura Berman Fortgang on March 15, 2026

In the musical Ragtime, there’s a character simply called Mother. When her husband leaves for a year-long expedition, she transforms. She takes in a Black couple and champions them — scandalous in early 1900s upper-crust New York society. She makes decisions, finds her voice, and becomes someone new. When her husband returns and tries to fit her back in the box she once occupied, she can’t do it. She sings a song called “Back to Before,” and it’s all about how you simply cannot return to who you were.

I think we can all relate to that tension.

We long for the past.
We long for that thing that was.

There’s actually a psychological term for it — rosy retrospection — which is our tendency to remember the past as kinder and gentler than it may have actually been. We don’t remember the anxiety of that “easier” chapter. We remember the feeling of being less burdened.

I know that feeling personally. My son has epilepsy. I can remember a time when they were petit mals — frightening, yes, but something our family had learned to navigate. Something that had become, in its own difficult way, our normal. Then came the grand mals, and everything shifted. I remember thinking if I could just get back to before that happened, we could handle this. What I didn’t realize at the time was that “before” wasn’t waiting for me. It had already closed.

That’s the thing about “before.” Even if you could somehow return to that exact moment in time, you would bring this version of yourself with you. You’ve grown. You’ve changed. So you truly can’t go back. What Mother’s song captures so beautifully is that the “before” she mourns was also a version of herself that was smaller, quieter, and less fully alive. Growth and loss are often the same door.

When we spend our energy facing the rearview mirror, we risk getting stuck there. Nostalgia in small doses is sweet, warm, and deeply human. But when we move in there, it becomes a form of grief that never resolves. It keeps us comparing the present to an idealized past that didn’t quite exist, and the present always loses that competition. We can become so loyal to who we were that we become strangers to who we’re becoming.

Here are four things that can help you move forward:

Honor it, then set it down. You are absolutely allowed to miss what was. Grief is real, and grief is authentic. But there’s a difference between visiting the past and moving in there. Acknowledge what you’ve lost, feel it fully – then deliberately turn toward what remains.

Ask: What does this make possible? Every ending carries a hidden opening. The question can’t only be “what did I lose?” It has to become “what is this new chapter calling forth in me? Who am I becoming?” That’s where the real focus belongs. Not on the closing door, but on the one that’s beginning to open.

Trade nostalgia for gratitude. Nostalgia looks backward. Gratitude — real appreciation — lives in the present. Instead of wishing you could return to a good moment, practice being grateful it happened at all. That single reframe moves you out of longing and into appreciation. And appreciation puts you right back in the present, where your life is actually happening.

Build something to move toward. The pull of the past is strongest when the future feels empty — when there’s nothing on the horizon you’re looking forward to. So put something there. It doesn’t have to be grand; even something small gives forward motion a direction. Once you start moving forward, it becomes easier to keep going. Mother doesn’t end her song with any kind of tidy resolution. She can’t get back to the past, but she stands in the truth of her own change. I think that is actually the bravest thing any of us can do. Not pretending the past didn’t matter and not letting it hold us hostage either. Just standing in who we’ve become.

I still have moments where I’d give anything to go back to before. But I’ve also learned that the version of me who came through what came next is more capable, more compassionate, and more present than I ever was before.

You can’t go back to before.
But you can decide, right now, what you’re moving toward and allow the next chapter to begin.

Faith vs. Fear: What Really Drives Us?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on March 1, 2026

Today I want to dive into something that’s been coming up frequently in my recent coaching conversations: The tension between faith and fear. I’m not talking about religious faith necessarily (though if that’s your thing, I deeply admire it). I’m talking about something more fundamental – the choice we make every single day about which voice we’re going to listen to.

The State of Things

Let’s be real: There’s a lot happening right now. The global economy is doing its unpredictable dance. The world feels heavy with uncertainty. For those of you stepping into entrepreneurship or searching for your next career opportunity, the unknown can feel absolutely overwhelming.

I work with people every day who are navigating these choppy waters, and I see the fear is real. The questions are legitimate. The worry isn’t unfounded. Here’s what I’ve learned after years of coaching and living through my own entrepreneurial journey; it’s not about whether fear shows up. It’s about your relationship with it.

Fear: The Blob vs. The Mosquito Bite

Remember that old 1950s horror movie with the blob? That amorphous glob of goo oozing down the street, consuming everything in its path? That’s what fear looks like when we let it take us over. It becomes this all-consuming force that colors everything we see, every decision we make, every step we take (or don’t take).

But fear doesn’t have to be the blob.

What if fear was more like a mosquito bite? You feel it – that little sting, that moment of “ouch, that’s uncomfortable” – and then you acknowledge it, maybe scratch it for a second, and move on with your day. You don’t let it ruin your entire outdoor experience. You don’t run inside and hide because mosquitoes exist.

The difference between these two experiences?
Your relationship with fear.

What Fear Actually Sounds Like

Here’s the thing about fear:
It’s sneaky. It disguises itself as “just being realistic” or “protecting yourself.”

But listen to the voice:
“You’re not good enough.”
“Other people do it better; nobody needs to hear from you.”
“Who are you to think you can do this?”

That’s fear talking. When we let that voice dominate, we’re operating from a place of scarcity, of lack, of limitation.

What Does Faith Sound Like?

Faith (I’m using this word whether you’re spiritual, religious, or neither) is belief in yourself. It’s belief in possibility.

It’s the voice that says:
“I’m learning and growing.”
“My perspective matters.”
“I’m taking the right actions; it’s just a matter of time.”

Faith is what you have when you plant a seed in the ground. You don’t dig it up every day to check if it’s growing. You trust that with the right conditions – water, sunlight, time – that seed will find its way to the surface. You have faith in the process.

If you’re building a business, looking for a job, or pursuing any significant goal, you’re planting seeds. Every action you take, every connection you make, every skill you build, are seeds. Faith is trusting that they’ll grow.

But What If You’re Deluded?

Here’s where it gets interesting. Someone always asks: “But what if I’m just fooling myself? What if I’m going down the wrong path, and I’m too deluded to see it?”

Valid question.
Here’s the answer: Engage with people who know more than you.

Work with mentors.
Consult experts.
Connect with people who’ve walked the path before you.
Get feedback.
Adjust your course.

When you’re taking the right actions and getting guidance from people who know the terrain, you’re not deluded. You’re informed, you’re strategic, and you’re building faith on a foundation of smart decisions.

The delusion isn’t in believing in yourself.
The delusion is in thinking you can succeed while ignoring all wisdom and feedback.
Big difference!

Introducing COPE: Your Framework for Managing Fear

Because I’m a coach and I love a good acronym, I’ve developed a framework for working with fear.
It’s called COPE, and here’s how it works:

C – Catch Yourself

The moment you notice fear creeping in, catch it. Name it. Say out loud if you need to: “Oh, that’s just fear. I see you.” Don’t let it become the blob. Turn it into the mosquito bite. Acknowledge it and move on.

O – Open

Be open to not knowing. Here’s a wild thought: If you’re going to be convinced of an outcome you can’t actually predict, why are you so committed to believing it will be negative? Why not invest that same energy in believing it could work out? You’re making up a story either way – make it a good one.

P – Possibility

Invest in possibility. This isn’t about wearing rose-colored glasses or ignoring reality. It’s about recognizing that if the idea exists in your mind, if the goal calls to you, there’s a reason. Possibility is real. As a coach, I live in the land of possibility because I’ve seen it proven true over and over again. Your dreams wouldn’t exist if they weren’t possible.

E – Exhale

Seriously, just breathe. Stop holding your breath. Release the tension in your shoulders. It’s going to be okay. This exhale is what having faith feels like in your body.

Faith and Fear Can Coexist

Here’s something important: You don’t have to eliminate fear to have faith. They can exist at the same time. In fact, they usually do. The goal isn’t to be fearless; the goal is to act with intention and faith while acknowledging that fear is along for the ride.

You can feel scared and still send the email.
You can worry about the outcome and still show up.
You can doubt yourself and still take the next step.
That’s not contradiction – that’s being human.

Your Challenge

I want you to pay attention to your internal dialogue. Notice when fear is speaking. Catch it. Open yourself to not knowing the outcome. Invest in possibility and exhale.

Practice COPE. See what shifts.

Because here’s the truth:
You’re doing better than you think. You’re further along than you realize.
The seeds you’re planting right now? They’re going to grow.

Have faith.

Visibility – Make This Your Year to Be Visible

By Laura Berman Fortgang on February 22, 2026

Visibility creates opportunity. It’s that simple.

When you show up consistently – whether in meetings, on social media, or at networking events – you put yourself in the right place at the right time. Those “lucky breaks” people talk about? They happen because someone chose to be visible.

Why Visibility Matters

Visibility builds trust and credibility over time. When people see you regularly, they begin to recognize your expertise and value. And here’s the thing: visibility compounds. The more you show up, the more opportunities find their way to you. Careers are built on this foundation.

How to Build Visibility as an Employee

If you work in a company, visibility starts with speaking up. Make sure you get credit for your great work. Contribute thoughtfully in meetings – not just to be heard, but to add real value.

Volunteer for high-visibility projects. Not the ones nobody else wants, but the strategic initiatives that will showcase your skills and get you noticed by decision-makers. Build relationships across departments and levels. Your network inside your organization is just as important as the one outside it.

How to Build Visibility as an Entrepreneur

Show up on platforms where your ideal clients are, but don’t stop there.
Get involved in your community.
Volunteer for opportunities that put you in front of the right people.

Make it easy for people to understand exactly what you do. I recently worked with a new coach who attended one networking meeting, made themselves visible to the group’s leader, and landed a speaking engagement that will put them in front of hundreds of potential clients. That’s the power of visibility.

Remember:
There’s visibility on a small scale (one-on-one relationships) and visibility on a larger scale (platforms and speaking).
Both matter.

For Those Who Hate Being Visible

Let me be honest: Being self-conscious is a little egotistical.
You’re assuming everyone is judging you probably because you’re judging yourself and others.
Get straight with yourself.
Stop judging yourself.
Stop judging other people.

You need to adopt a healthy “I don’t care” attitude. Not that you don’t care enough to do good work, but you can’t care so much about what others think that you hide your light.

Here’s the key: You need a mission bigger than you.
When you focus on the impact you want to make and the people you want to serve, visibility becomes about that mission, not about you.

And introverts, I don’t want to hear that you can’t be visible.
You just need to know yourself, do things your way, and stay connected to your bigger purpose.

Common Visibility Mistakes

Assuming good work speaks for itself.
It doesn’t. You need to share your wins, whether you’re presenting results to your boss or sharing client success stories on LinkedIn.

Confusing visibility with bragging.
They’re not the same thing. Sharing your accomplishments and expertise is not bragging; it’s informing people about what you can do and who you can help.

Being inconsistent.
Disappearing for long periods and then showing up only when you need something (a sale, a favor, a promotion) doesn’t work. Consistency builds trust.

Your Action Step

We’re still in the energy of a new year. Make this your year to be visible.
Be consistent.
Put yourself forward.
Don’t be afraid to be vocal about your accomplishments.

Visibility creates opportunity, and opportunity is what you’re after.

The Entrepreneurial Roller Coaster: How to Ride It (And Actually Survive)

By Laura Berman Fortgang on February 8, 2026

If you’ve ever been on a roller coaster, you know that moment right before the first drop – you grip the bar, your stomach tightens, you take a deep breath, and you wonder what the heck you just got yourself into.

Welcome to entrepreneurship.

Except this ride lasts years instead of minutes. There’s no operator doing safety checks. You can’t see the track ahead. And the drops? They’re steeper than anything at Six Flags.

After 32 years of running my own business, I can tell you this: The roller coaster never really smooths out. You just get better at riding it. That’s what I want to share with you today – how to not just survive the ride, but actually thrive on it.

Build Your Reserves (Both Kinds)

First things first: You need cushions for the falls. I’m talking about two types of reserves that most entrepreneurs overlook.

Financial reserves are the obvious one, but let me be specific. You need at least six months of operating expenses, plus personal savings. Not the optimistic spreadsheet version where everything goes perfectly. You need the realistic version where your biggest client ghosts you or that investor pulls out at the last minute.

I run my business on a ten-month year. Not because I take two months off, but because I know things will fluctuate and some months will be lean. Building in that buffer keeps me from making decisions out of desperation.

Here’s what most people miss: Emotional reserves. This is your hobbies, your relationships, exercise, meditation, therapy – whatever fills your tank. The entrepreneurs who burn out aren’t the ones who work hard; they’re the ones who work hard with an empty emotional tank. When you have people you can talk to, activities that restore you, and a life outside your business, you create an emotional cushion that lets you weather the storms.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, so protect both reserves like your business depends on it because it does.

On Low Days: Do ONE Thing That Moves the Needle

There will be days when you wake up convinced you’ll never get another client.
When the weight of it all feels crushing.
When you question everything.

On those days, forget your massive to-do list.
Pick ONE thing that will actually move the needle and do that.

Not busy work. Not cleaning your desk or organizing files. One meaningful action: Make that scary sales call, have that critical conversation you’ve been avoiding, fix that tech bug that’s been haunting you, send that partnership proposal.

Here’s the magic: Mood follows action. We’re often waiting for the mood to hit us before we take action. But it works the opposite way. You don’t need to feel motivated to act; you act and the motivation follows. Take the action first, and watch your mood improve.

After a Win: Attack, Don’t Relax

This might be the most counterintuitive advice, but it’s critical. Your most dangerous moment isn’t after a failure; it’s after a success.

You just closed a major client. You just hit your revenue target. Every instinct tells you to take your foot off the gas, to relax a little, to enjoy the moment.

Don’t.

Celebrate that evening, absolutely. But the very next day? Double down. Already in a good mood? Take more action. Make another call. Close another client. Do something that makes a difference while you’re riding that high.

Here’s why: Wins create momentum, open doors, and boost confidence. You’re never more attractive to potential clients, partners, or investors than right after a visible success. Use that fuel. Don’t let it evaporate.

Know the Difference: Dip or Dead End?

Not every low point is worth pushing through. Seth Godin talks about “The Dip,” that valley between starting something and mastering it where most people quit. Winners push through strategic dips because there’s something valuable on the other side.

But dead ends are different. A dead end is when the market fundamentally doesn’t want what you’re selling, when the economics will never work, when there’s nothing pointing to it coming back.

The hard part? They feel the same in the moment.

That’s why you need trusted advisors – friends, coaches, mentors – who can help you see clearly. People who will tell you the truth when you need to hear it because it’s really hard for us to know the difference between a dip and a dead end when we’re the ones on the ride.

Hold On Tight

The ride is terrifying.
The ride is exhilarating.
For those of us crazy enough to strap in, it leads to something incredible: freedom.

You get better at riding it.
You build your reserves.
You take action when you’re low.
You attack when you’re high.
You surround yourself with people who help you know when to push through and when to pivot.

Buckle up, buttercup.
This is what you signed up for, and it’s worth every twist and turn.

When the Storm Hits: Your Guide to Weathering What Comes and Emerging Stronger

By Laura Berman Fortgang on February 1, 2026

The meteorologists saw it coming days in advance. The grocery stores emptied of bread and milk. Batteries flew off the shelves. Everyone knew the storm was approaching, yet when it finally arrived, many still found themselves unprepared for its full force.

Life’s storms work the same way. Sometimes we see them gathering on the horizon – a organizational restructuring, a relationship reaching its breaking point, a business model that’s clearly running out of road. Other times, they hit without warning, leaving us scrambling to find our footing while everything we counted on gets rearranged.

The question isn’t whether storms will come. They will.
The question is: How will you prepare, how will you weather them, and how will you use what they teach you?

Before the Storm: The Art of Strategic Preparation

Here’s what most people get wrong about preparation:
They stockpile supplies, but they forget to strengthen their foundation.

When I work with leaders and entrepreneurs facing major transitions, I ask them a simple question: “What are you anchoring to?” When everything else is moving, you need something solid to hold onto. For some, it’s their core values. For others, it’s their sense of purpose or their commitment to the people they serve.

The coaches I work with who navigate industry changes most successfully aren’t the ones with the biggest emergency funds (though those help). They’re the ones who’ve built what I call “foundational flexibility,” which is a clear sense of who they are and what they stand for, combined with the agility to adapt their methods without compromising their mission.

Practical preparation looks like this:

Know your non-negotiables.
What absolutely must be protected?
What defines you at your core?
When you’re clear on this, you can let go of everything else with much less anxiety.

Build your support system before you need it.
The middle of a crisis is not the time to start looking for allies.
Invest in relationships during the calm, so you have people to call when the winds pick up.

Create options, not just plans.
Plans assume a predictable future.
Options give you choices when the unexpected arrives.
What are three different ways you could respond if X happens?
What resources could you access if Y occurs?

When You’re In It: Weathering the Storm

There’s a moment in every storm when you realize – this is happening.
The preparation phase is over.
Now you’re just trying to stay upright.

This is when your previous work pays off, or when you discover what you missed.

The most important skill for weathering a storm isn’t strength; it’s presence.
The ability to stay aware, stay responsive, and resist the temptation to panic-react your way into worse problems.

I’ve watched brilliant people make terrible decisions in the middle of storms because they were so desperate to make the discomfort stop that they grabbed at the first solution that presented itself.
They pivoted their entire business model after one bad quarter.
They blew up a relationship because they couldn’t tolerate the tension of uncertainty.
They abandoned their vision because it got hard.

Weathering a storm means accepting that some things are out of your control while staying active in the things that aren’t.

You can’t stop the storm, but you can:

Protect your energy.
This is not the time to take on new commitments or push yourself to maintain “business as usual.”
Give yourself permission to focus on essentials.

Stay connected.
Isolation is the enemy of resilience. Reach out. Ask for help. Let people know you’re struggling.
The vulnerability you show now will deepen your relationships later.

Look for the small wins.
You don’t need to solve everything today.
You need to take one right action, then another, then another.
Progress compounds.

After the Storm: Mining the Meaning

Every storm deposits something. Sometimes it’s wreckage that needs clearing. Sometimes it’s nutrients that will feed next season’s growth. Your job is to examine what’s been left behind.

The entrepreneurs I know who’ve built the strongest businesses didn’t do it by avoiding failure. They did it by getting exceptionally good at learning from it. Each setback became data. Each crisis revealed something they didn’t know about themselves, their market, or their model.

The question isn’t “Why did this happen to me?”
The question is “What does this make possible that wasn’t possible before?”

Maybe the storm cleared out deadwood – projects that were draining energy without producing results, relationships that had run their course, assumptions that were holding you back. Maybe it revealed strengths you didn’t know you had. Maybe it showed you who really has your back.

Coming out positive doesn’t mean pretending the storm didn’t hurt.
It means refusing to let the hurt be the only thing that defines what happened.

The storms will come. They always do.

The only real question is: When the next one arrives, who will you be?
Someone who merely survives it, or someone who uses it to become more of who you’re meant to be?

Start preparing now. Not because you’re pessimistic, but because you’re committed to staying in the game no matter what the weather brings.

How to Stop Imposter Syndrome in Its Tracks

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 1, 2023

Do you ever feel like an imposter?

Are you sometimes afraid that someone’s going to discover you have no idea what you’re doing — that you’re not the expert you proclaim to be, you’re not as skilled as you’ve made yourself out to be, and you’re not quite qualified to be in the position you’ve found yourself in?

Maybe you’re worried that you don’t measure up somehow, so it makes you feel like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.

Here’s what this looks like.

Them: We’d like to interview you [for a dream job]!
You: Maybe they didn’t notice I don’t have enough experience.

Them: Congratulations! We’d like to offer you the [dream] job.
You: I’ll surely be fired by Tuesday, once they figure out I’m a fraud.

Them: We’ve selected your proposal to speak at the next conference.
You: Oh no! I’m probably going to make a fool out of myself.

Them: I’m looking for a coach, and I’d love to work with you.
You: But what if I can’t help you get results, and you tell everyone I’m a con?

I’m not a doctor, but as a Master Certified Credentialed Coach with 30 years of experience, I can confidently assess what’s happening here.

Imposter Syndrome

Don’t worry; it’s not fatal to your career or success.

Most people struggle with it from time to time, and it’s entirely “treatable.”

If you feel like your Imposter Syndrome is flaring up, here’s what I suggest you do —

Pause and accept what’s happening. No sense in ignoring the symptoms. Denying it only makes things worse by trying to overcompensate.
Learn to recognize your triggers (comparisons, someone else’s recent success) and how you respond, so you can head it off at the pass. Before you go into a full-on panic, tell yourself, “This is just imposter syndrome flaring up again. Nothing alarming. You can do this.”
Notice your self-talk. As soon as you start beating yourself up, STOP. It may sound easier said than done, but you can tell yourself “no.” No more negative self-talk; you’re not listening.
Ask yourself what success looks like. Are you trying to measure up to a perfect ideal? Scratch that and aim for progress instead.
Keep learning. The best way to keep Imposter Syndrome at bay is to continue seeking out new knowledge and ways of doing things, evolving, and growing your skill set.
Celebrate wins! I can’t say enough about this. Remind your brain that you’re doing good things.

Do this again and again, every time Imposter Syndrome starts to creep up, and you’ll start experiencing it less and less.

Don’t get caught up in calling yourself an expert. Instead of thinking of yourself as someone who’s supposed to know everything, think of yourself as someone who makes it your business to learn everything you can about your particular topic of choice.

You’re not an imposter, so keep showing up as the best of who you are. You’ve got this!