Now What Coaching

The Power of Pumpkin Spice

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 17, 2023

Fall is just around the corner again, and you know what that means — it’s pumpkin spice season!

I know … you’re either rolling your eyes, giddy with excitement, or couldn’t care less. But stick with me here, because we should all be paying attention.

Love it or hate it, there’s no denying the POWER of pumpkin spice.

I kid you not — studies have found that Americans are spending over half a BILLION dollars on pumpkin spice stuff every year. Buying up everything from Starbucks lattes to scented trash bags, industry insiders call it the “pumpkin spice economy.”

Sure, it may seem like things have gotten out of hand, and seeing the hype start in mid-August is a pet peeve of mine. Personally, I’m a fan of pumpkin spice, and I’m an even bigger fan of pumpkin spice as a marketing phenomenon.

Marketers have NAILED this. Here’s how —

1. Building anticipation: Those of us who are fans of the rich, fragrant flavor and scent crave our first annual sip or whiff.
2. Creating emotional connection: It’s become interwoven with the coziness of the season, like a warm sweater, crackling fires, and family holiday gatherings.
3. Making a limited-time offer: Not being able to order it year-round makes it special. Consumers hurry to buy while they can, as much as they can.
4. Establishing consistency: We know this thing is coming down the pike every year and have come to rely on it.

How can you translate these lessons into your business or career?

Anticipation: Talk about what you’re brewing up; create intrigue. Developing a new program? Offer hints along the way. Working on an exciting project? Let others know you can’t wait to share. Before long, people will be on the lookout for whatever you have going on and want in on it.

Emotional connection: Make sure people associate your work with something deeper than a commodity. You don’t just offer accounting services, but peace of mind. Not just coaching, but clarity and inspiration.

Limited access: Scarcity encourages people to take action. Offer a limited number of one-on-one coaching opportunities. Focus on projects that make the greatest impact rather than spreading yourself thin.

Consistency: Let people know what to expect from you, so they can look forward to your upcoming podcast episode, newsletter, program launch, or presentation at the next industry conference — and depend on you showing up.

I’d love to know how you’re going to spice things up this fall. Hit reply and share.

How to Deal with Difficult People

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 10, 2023

Let’s face it; people can be difficult.

Even if you consider yourself a people person, dealing with various needs, personalities, priorities, and quirks can be challenging.

There’s always going to be conflict.

Whether it’s a tough client, boss, or coworker, your overall success and happiness ultimately depend on how well you’re able to navigate that relationship.

The good news – it’s not as hard as you might think — as long as you keep these three tips in mind:

Tip #1: In any given situation, you have two realities:

1. The facts and 2. The interpretation of the facts.
We are not always going to agree on the interpretation. Here is an example:

Person A: This stinks! I was planning to go to an arts festival; my day is ruined!

Person B: How wonderful! My lawn needed this, and now I can curl up with a good book.

We all view facts differently. When you’re dealing with a difficult person or situation, you have to remember — there’s what happened, and there’s what each person thinks about what happened. Once you’ve considered this, it’s easier to resolve any friction.

Tip #2: Follow Stephen Covey’s advice to begin with the end in mind. (That’s habit #2 in his blockbuster book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)

People don’t like drama because they’re afraid they’ll get stuck in whatever nastiness ensues.

When you find yourself in conflict, focus on what you want to get out of it. What’s your goal? What do you want to resolve? Keep your eye on the prize, and stay focused on moving forward.

Tip#3: Avoid the word “you” unless it’s used in a positive light.

Saying “you” in the heat of conflict triggers an inflammatory response. People feel blamed and berated, and they don’t like it one bit.

Instead, frame the conversation with the word “I.” I hear you, understand, see we have a difference of opinion, and I want you to know I want to resolve this to your satisfaction.

This keeps the other person off the defensive and out of “fight or flight” mode. It allows for a reasonable conversation and coming to a resolution.

These three tips will make a big difference, and the more you use them, the more you’re able to build rapport and trust, even with the most difficult people. The next time a conflict arises, you can build on the successful outcome you created the last time. Before you know it, that person no longer ruffles your feathers because you know how to deal with them.

Remember: The customer isn’t always right. Your boss isn’t always right. And that overbearing coworker isn’t always right.

You don’t have to let difficult people walk all over you. It’s okay to disappoint people, agree to disagree, and move on. You’ll have more respect for yourself, garner more respect, and win in the end.

If Work is Your Identity

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 3, 2023

For some people, work is their identity. It’s how they measure their worth, and that works for them. It gets a bad rap, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with deriving meaning from the work you’re called to do.

Being driven by your goals can serve you quite well … until it doesn’t!

Let’s face it —

You’re never going to succeed by sitting on your laurels.

Establishing yourself is going to come with some late nights, missed birthday parties, and sacrifice.

But there’s a limit to how much good it does you to burn the WiFi at both ends and stay glued to your phone.

Making your identity all about work is likely costing you, even more than you know.

If you’re thinking of yourself as “Ms. CPA Extraordinaire” or “The best SAHM Return to Work Career Coach” or “my company’s next SVP of Marketing” 24/7/365, you might want to take a breather every now and then.

If your family and friends are constantly teasing you or complaining about your job, it can be frustrating … but they might have a point.

“All you ever do is work.”

“You always cancel on us.”

“When are you ever gonna take a vacation?”

There’s a good chance you’ve let workaholism creep in and take over.

Here’s the thing —

Even if you love what you do…

Even if you think doing more of it is your ticket to ride…

What got you here won’t necessarily get you to the next level.

Instead, you may hit a brick wall of disappointment.

Ignoring the voices – both internal and external – that say you’re working too much is a sure way to burnout.

Ignoring your personal desires and the people around you, putting everything off to a later date, means something is missing.

Maybe it’s time to reexamine what’s driving you.

Why are you making your identity about work? Look for the origin.

Did you make a vow to yourself to succeed at all costs?
Is being rewarded at work fulfilling a personal need?
Is work your source for love, acceptance, and self-worth?

What happens is work gives us all something good, but if something’s missing, that hit can become an addiction like anything else.

Once you’re aware of this, the hard part starts — lowering your standards. Yikes!

Once you know what’s lacking, you can start practicing acceptance of yourself without adhering to the highest standards.

If your identity is all about work and it’s COSTING you, this is what you need to do. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it.

Because here’s the kicker: Eventually, you will achieve MORE by doing LESS.

The Significance of the WIN

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 27, 2023

When you’re looking to reinvent your career or start a business, resilience is crucial.

Because sooner or later, the going will get tough. You’ll need to not only stay motivated but also recover quickly and bounce back whenever you encounter difficulties.

One of the best ways to do this is to focus on your wins.

When facing challenge after challenge, it can feel like losing is imminent. Directing your attention toward your triumphs is like a continuous reminder that you’re actually someone who wins — and keeps winning — every day.

So whenever I work with a client, we start our session with a win.

Sometimes it’s something big — secured a dream job interview, landed a new client, booked a speaking gig, nailed a program launch.

But sometimes it’s something seemingly small — updating your resume, sending a newsletter, booking a discovery call, attending a networking event.

But a win is a win!

Even if you have to dig for it and rack your brain, always keep in mind that you’re a winner at something this month, this week, this morning… here’s why —

A win is something you WANT.
It’s INTEGRAL to your well-being.
And it NEGATES problems.

W.I.N.

If you have a challenging goal to tackle, wins can be the boost you need to get you there. Celebrating your victories leads to more favorable results.

A win changes your physiology. Focusing on your wins makes you shift from a stress-oriented mindset to one of possibility, wonder, and what’s next.

Your creativity amplifies, your problem-solving improves, and your confidence flourishes. You’re ready to take on the next step knowing there will be a positive outcome — if not exactly what you’re aiming for, something better than where you are. A win is imminent!

I’ll admit, this is easier said than done.

In fact, it’s been a personal challenge for me over the years. I thought my problems made me interesting, and I used them as comic fodder, part of my personality. But the self-deprecating humor wasn’t serving me.

It wasn’t until I learned to focus on what was right in my life that things began to shift. By focusing on what was right, I started doing more of what was right, and my wins beget more wins.

Success breeds success.

How To NOT Quit on Yourself

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 6, 2023

When you’re working towards a goal, quitting often seems like the easy way out.

Everyone wants to throw in the towel sometimes — when the going gets tough, when you hit a hiccup, or when you’re just not feeling up to it.

Getting up every day, chugging along, and doing what it takes — no matter what — isn’t always easy.

And sometimes quitting just makes good sense.

But if you really want something, quitting — on your career, your business, or yourself — isn’t the way to go.

If you give up now, chances are you’ll kick yourself later. I’ve seen it lead to a lot of regret.

I’ve even seen quitting become a habit. People do it again and again and never get to where they want to go.

Far too many disappointments and broken dreams could’ve been avoided, if only they’d learned how to NOT quit, which may sound easier said than done, but it’s actually quite simple.

There’s only ONE way.

THE key to getting through tough times is to focus on the bigger picture.

Laser in on something bigger than you.
What’s the goal?, your mission? and the greater cause behind what you want?

Here’s what I mean —

I’m working with a team right now that’s under a lot of pressure. Their industry is taking a hit, they’ve been through rounds of layoffs, and morale is at an all-time low. But this team is playing a crucial role in the organization, so they need to stay on their game and focused on the mission, which is producing work for an important cause. It’s their collective passion for that cause that’s keeping them going while the going is tough.

So, what’s your personal cause? It may be something different in every scenario.

If you feel like quitting, look for something bigger.

Think about it. One of the best ways to get yourself out of a funk is to do something for somebody else.

If you’ve been around for a while, you may know that I went through a period of severe depression in my 20s. The best thing I did for myself was to begin helping people who were less fortunate, delivering food to individuals who were shut in with illness or old age. It changed the trajectory of my life!

It’s not all about keeping your nose to the grindstone. Look for the greater meaning in the work itself. If you don’t find it there, seek meaning all around you.

Hitting your business goals may allow you to give more financially to causes that matter. Changing careers may allow more flexibility in your schedule to volunteer at your kids’ school.

It doesn’t have to be altruistic. Making that next sale or bonus could fund a girl’s trip to Napa Valley you’ve been craving, or a dreamy backyard makeover, or bump up retirement by a year.

THE key to getting through tough times is to focus on the bigger game.

4 Ways to Strengthen Your Personal Foundation

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 30, 2023

After last week’s post, my inbox was flooded with questions. Which is always a nice surprise, honestly. It seems I struck a chord.

Many of you wanted to know more about what it takes to stand strong when something comes along and tries to knock you off your game.

I’m glad you’re curious!

All too often, smart, capable, driven people are letting disappointments and setbacks muck up their day, throw them for a loop, and ruin their plans.

If this is you, I know you’re sick of the disruption.

The client you hoped to land ghosts you.
The recruiter for that dream job sends a rejection letter.
The folks who bought your coaching program’s credit cards are declining.
Your new VP left you off a “big deal” meeting invite.

And you’re SO sick of letting it all shake you up. But you don’t know what to do about it.

You know your personal foundation needs some work, but you don’t know how to go about building a solid one.

I get it; you either have it or you don’t. The good news is, once it’s built, it will stand the test of time. Even when it crumbles a little, you’ll know how to piece it back together and pack it down tight.

Here’s what it’ll take.

1. Stop taking things personally. That might sound easier said than done, but it can be done. Because — A.) Whatever it is, it’s not about you. And B.) You’re not damaged or broken. You’re learning.
2. Spend time with yourself. Ideally, learn how to meditate. At the very least, take three to five minutes every day to clear your mind, pause the ruminating, and think about nothing. Don’t make it hard. Start with searching for a guided meditation on YouTube. Tuning into yourself is a great reminder that your foundation is stronger than you might think; you’ve already overcome so much.
3. Know your triggers. We all have them! We’ve had childhood trauma or negative experiences as an adult, and reminders can pull us into an emotional loop. By identifying those triggers, possibly by working with a therapist, you’ll be able to catch them sooner and avoid the spiral.
4. Become friends with fear. Why? Because it’s never going away, so you may as well embrace it. You can let it take you over like The Blob in the 1950s horror film or brush it aside like a mosquito bite. Fear is simply trying to protect you from something; learn to listen to its underlying message and use it for good.

There you have it. Incorporate these four tips into your life and your personal foundation will be stronger than ever. It’ll take work, but it’s so worth it!