Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

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The Pandemic Changed My Business: How One Question Might Help You

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The pandemic shut down was hard for so many people including people I know personally.

For me, it was fraught with challenges but turned out to be one of the best years I’ve had in a long time.

I shed 32 pounds after gaining 19 in the early months of the upheaval. Most of my work that required travel, public appearances and many active negotiations all died out to nothing.

I am fortunate to have coaching clients consistently and as crushing as it was to see my young adult children have the most exciting years of their youth brought to a complete halt, it was a treasured gift to have everyone under one roof for 18 months.

So many people contemplated their work and lives with the extra time at home and I’m not any different. Instead of drowning in anxiety about what I had lost and what the future might look like because of it, I decided to make a HUGE assumption that catapulted me into clarity and action and I’m so, so happy I did.

I said to myself: “SELF!—Proceed like none of it is coming back.”

I transformed my Now What? Coaching business, producing and delivering a new online version available to more people than I could possibly serve one on one  in my coaching practice.

I’ve given work to the coaches I’ve trained to use my methodology as a result and we’ve doubled the business. (Oh, and the other work has come back too!)

But here is what I really want to tell you.

I’m starting a second business. I’m not giving up my career coaching work nor the company that houses it. I am adding on something that I haven’t done since my early days as a founding member of the International Coaching Federation: serve coaches.

82% of talented people who train as a coach, quit within two years. As an ex-actor those numbers hit me extra hard because they are way too close to the numbers that the actors’ unions report about the percentage of members who don’t work.

That is UNACCEPTABLE to me. I have 27 years of experience and I’m preparing to share everything I know that has allowed me to sustain a profitable business through three huge economic downturns, the game-changing world of social media and more that is not worth dating myself over.

Every downturn in my business and life has become a catalyst for new growth and discoveries. They are not fun or particularly joyous and they can be outright painful, however, the sooner we mourn the loss, the sooner we can innovate.

I invite you, if you are in a valley, to adopt my question above: “What if it (the industry, the job, the money or even a person) is not coming back? Stop waiting and start moving.

I’m pumped up about my new offerings coming up and look forward to continuing to serve all you Now What?’ers who have stuck with me over the years!

Bypass Your Brain and Get to the Truth!

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Our brains are command central for all operations in our body but when it comes to finding direction for your life and career, it can be your biggest obstacle to clarity.

If I could invent a magic pill, it wouldn’t be one to make your wishes come true. It would be a pill to turn off the linear, logical, analytic, judgmental part of  your brain so you can compute POSSIBILITIES!

Week after week, I am in conversation with people trying to find their next professional step. My job is not to prescribe a path or psychically predict where they’ll end up.  It’s never been clearer that my job is to change people’s thinking. From no options to new horizons.

From impossible impasses to new tributaries—-it all gets down to how we think. If you think you’re too old, not good enough, part of an irreplaceable dead industry or too insolvent to go back to school, then YOU ARE!

I’m not talking about magical thinking or denying cold, hard facts but I am talking about finding what you are looking for. And if you’re looking for that list of NO’s, you’ll have no problem finding them. On the other hand, you can use  the same amount of energy looking for possibilities and open doors. It’s MUCH MORE PRODUCTIVE.

In a single one hour group call this week, with one simple exercise, we by-passed logic and unleashed exciting, life affirming possibilities:

(Names changed for confidentiality)

Jane, in a safe, well-paying job saw no way to get to her dream because of the cost of going back to school. With logic, out of the way, she reported in twelve hours later, that she had identified several programs where there are scholarship opportunities.

Roseanne, stuck and somewhat depressed for months, was paralyzed because her industry has shrunk, and she was seeing no other avenue for herself. When her left  brain was sideline by the exercise, she confessed she had a project she kept locked in a drawer that would open a whole new path for her.

She giggled in delight as she  promised to act the next day to contact a person who could point her in the right direction.

James asked to use a personal situation instead. A recent emergency put a spotlight on what had been missing for months in his romantic relationship. His logical, left brain convinced him that he would not find love again and that he had no choice but to settle for a relationship that was not ideal for him.

He admitted that the truth had to be told and was preparing for what that would mean. Instead of sadness, he felt relief and was feeling confident that he deserved and could find the partnership he needed.

Lillian reported being exhausted by her job and in a cyclical trap of not having the energy to work on the novel she’s been trying to write for years. She was stuck in a litany of reasons, all very logical, for having to shelve that project day after day, week after week and file it under ‘someday’.

Now this may seem obvious, but only when we used the exercise to remove the logic, it  was clear that writing had to happen first every, single day. The possibilities this unleashed revealed a path to Lillian’s dreams and she revealed that it wasn’t only one novel she was writing but that she has seven already mapped out in her mind! All in one quick conversation.

These are four examples of the eight we covered in one hour.

By now, you’re probably asking: “What is the exercise, Laura?!” It’s not going to be shared yet.

The reason being is that I want this read to prime the pump. Think about how you stop yourself from revealing what you really want. Notice how your beautiful brain gets in the way. Notice how every story I mentioned here revealed a hidden desire on top of the primary one.

Let those truths come out!

As it is said: “The truth will set you free”. It will unleash a fabulous, positive energy and THEN, you must act on it. None of the exercise matters if you don’t get into motion and stay in motion within the context of the new possibility/revealed truth.

Bypass your brain and get on with your (true) life! I’ll be right here to help.

The ‘Great Resignation’ and The Myths of Summer

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Have you caught wind of this month’s viral prediction? Experts are predicting the Great Resignation.

Post-pandemic, more people are clear about what they do and do not want from work and a vast percentage are considering quitting their jobs.  Contrary to previous assumptions about the season, there may be opportunities this summer. This presents some challenges to how we normally think about landing a job in the summer months.

Myth: No one is interviewing in the summer

TRUTH: You must be patient with vacations and things taking longer, but interviews happen in the summer because companies want everyone running full steam with full teams come fall.

Also, since many believe this myth, you’ll have a better chance of cutting through the usual noise and getting attention.

MYTH: You’ve got all summer

TRUTH:  No, you don’t.  Summer is not necessarily June, July, and August. It varies across the United States depending on school schedules.  Some states have kids out late May and going back in August. Others have kids out the end of June and going back after Labor Day. This determines vacations for most folks. Obviously, not everyone has school age children or children at all, but vacations usually follow these norms. Job seekers should think and plan accordingly.

Again, people want to fill openings  to hit fourth quarter running so assume nothing and stay in action.

Myth: The pandemic is over

TRUTH: Things are looking good in the U.S., but remember we had lots of freedom last summer too. The real test will be how we fare in the fall as we head back indoors again.   Will we be at herd immunity?  Will the variants affect our freedom to move around?

It matters to landing a job only because of the chaos it causes.  Therefore, another argument to use this summer wisely.

The Great Resignation has not yet come to fruition, but we see in our Now What?® community many people considering leaving their jobs. That creates opportunities as people move around. For those of you considering finding a better fit, stay in action identifying where you DO want to be and do let us know how we can help.

Is Normal What You Really Want?

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In New Jersey, COVID restrictions are being lifted and a quick return to  ‘normal’ is unfolding.

I spent every day of the Memorial Day weekend meeting with different friends and family we haven’t been able to see in over a year. It was fantastic to be with people and enjoy their company and catch up.  It was also a HUGE source of anxiety.

I may be in the minority, but I don’t want the pace of COVID life to end!

No commitments on the weekends, plenty of time to work out, very little time spent in traffic or even in my car, together-time with my children and husband and time to cook, crochet, do jigsaw puzzles and redecorate my office.

I am very aware that I am one of the fortunate people.  We did not lose a loved one to COVID and we did not fall into financial ruin.  For that, I’m utterly grateful. I’m also compassionately aware that those with small kids at home or who were fully isolated during COVID had a whole other experience than I did.

My gratitude extends to being able to retool my business in such a way that I don’t have to rely on pre-Covid revenue streams if I don’t want to. That freedom and the personal flexibility I described above are the hard-won pivot that I want to keep as life accelerates around me once again.

How about you?  Do you want your old life back?

What do you want back?

and to keep from COVID life?

What COVID gave me was time to discern what mattered.  It showed me what is clutter and what’s necessary.  In business, it illuminated which activities were worthwhile and mine to master versus those that kept me in limbo as I waited for others to choose me so I could do what I love.

In my house, I could see what was no longer serving me and had become junk (bye, bye). It also showed me which friendships were deep and which were convenient. It gave me time to lose 32 pounds with focused effort and drop the ‘big lie’ in my own life that held me back, just to name a few changes.

What COVID gave a spotlight to in my role as an observer of patterns among clients was the many ways in which we use activity to distract us from things that truly make a difference to our health, well-being, and productivity.

For example, being ‘busy’ is a great way to avoid acting on changing jobs because you’ve stopped growing.  Drama at work or in the family keeps you from working on discovering and processing the triggers that make you want to create (or participate) in the drama in the first place!

What time and space allow for is awareness, mindfulness, and purpose. Doing things purposefully. Doing things on purpose vs. reacting to hair triggers.

Modern life makes it hard to be that mindful.  We reward stress. We reward heroic overworking. BUT YOU CAN reverse the Pavolvian response we have to those expectations.

Stop. Now. While you can still swim, before the current washes you into the barely navigable rapids, take stock.  What do you want to keep from COVID life? Make some new rules. (i.e., only one day/ night of the weekend is scheduled, the other is for spontaneity or nothing) Put some stakes in the ground, even with yourself about exercise, or quiet time, or reading or whatever it is for you.

Make good use of your time. It’s all you’ve got.

INTEGRITY – Does Your Work Have It?

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Let me catch you before you head in the wrong direction.

This is not a post lecturing you on honesty and character in the workplace.
No.
Not at all.

The direction I want to point you in is understanding integrity in the context of wholeness.

If a structure had no foundational integrity, it would fail. If your life has no foundational integrity, it will be very, very messy, and likely, dramatic. If your work has no integrity, it’s not aligned with who you are.

The past year of Pandemic Living has revealed many fissures in the infrastructure our lives and shined a spotlight on work/careers whether you got to keep your job or not. It either gave you time to think or time to be in very close quarters with issues you were either ignoring or didn’t know were there.

If you are sitting with a set of discoveries, none too comforting, then you may feel out of sorts.

How do you get back into integrity?

Rubik's Cube and integrity in your workGetting to wholeness requires telling the truth. It’s not easy to take a good, hard look at yourself and what has brought you to this point, but there is no escaping it. The truth will be your ticket to the other side whatever challenge you are facing now.

The steps are simple but require inner work to battle back the logic that tells you it’s not possible to make a change:
  1. Face the truth of what’s keeping you from integrity
  2. Name what’s missing
  3. Keep experimenting with what you have (resume/background), and want like playing with a Rubik’s Cube (OK maybe something not that difficult) so that
  4. you hit that moment when it clicks, the colors line up and the cube (and you) are WHOLE and in full INTEGRITY.

Three recent clients in my private practice have brought this integrity dilemma to our work as we contracted for me to help them gain clarity on their next career iteration. All three in hefty careers, all three knowing their industries no longer fit them. Who they are (what they want, value, need) was no longer aligned with what their industries contributed to the world, and they didn’t know what else they could do or be successfully employed at.

From the polluting side of energy to the sustainability side, from legal doldrums to an exciting and creative use of that skill set in the arts world and the seemingly happy kids’ clothes world to something (yet named, new client) that does not create as much waste and horrible working conditions for factory workers.

These are the kind of journeys back to integrity and wholeness I and the facilitators at Now What? Coaching takes people on from all walks of life.

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When Mom Comes Out of Quarantine

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Oh My God! COVID-19 is no joke, folks.

COVID-19 moved through four of my five family members, including me, in the last month at a rapid pace. From my oldest son, to my husband, to my youngest son and then to me after I played short order cook and butler to my crew of three quarantined men. I got hit with the most severe symptoms including fever, chills and a migraine headache that wouldn’t quit. It was bad. I don’t wish it on anyone.

In the fog of being sick, I had zero s#&@s to give. I had feverish delusions of living in the future only to have to back up to live in the present (symbolic lesson? Hmmm). I had no ability or motivation to keep up with work. I knew I had a new person coming in to help my almost 85-year-old mom, and I could surrender to her starting without my guidance or input. My husband was doing an amazing job keeping everyone in the house fed (all were out of quarantine but me by this time).

WHEN MOM COMES OUT OF QUARANTINE from COVID

And then, I turned the corner. I started feeling better. I was not “back,” but with three symptom-free days and quarantine officially over, I emerged from my sick room.

Oh MY GOD.

Life stood still. Nothing had moved. The packages that were supposed to go out were still in the same spot. Coats were left where they were two weeks ago. My plants were dead. The kitchen floor was littered with two weeks’ worth of crumbs. The kitchen tablecloth was stained, and my tulips from Passover/Easter week were naked stems in a pot. It was surreal. I felt like I was walking through two weeks in slow motion.

I had felt very well taken care of during quarantine – receiving food, drink and symptom-checks in the comfort of my bed, and I didn’t really care what was going on outside my door. Everything seemed in order. Little did I know that chaos was the true state of things. Nobody cared, and I only cared when I had to see it. Is it chaos if it doesn’t adversely affect anyone?

It does not gratify me in the least to see that my presence makes a difference to the flow and efficiency of my home. It’s long been a pain point for me that my family is not naturally fastidious when it comes to keeping a neat and orderly home. It’s a battle I’ve fought. It eventually became a battle I was just not willing to take on over and over again.

These two COVID-19 weeks showed me where my business needs reinforcement in case I ever drop out like this again, and on the home front, I was once again shown that I have a higher need for order than the rest of my family. What’s changed is that re-entering the world after two weeks made me see it’s not personal. It is SO not personal. I see that more clearly now, and it will help me be less reactive in the future. I’ve always taken it personally. COVID-19, and its no S#*@s to give, was a great teacher. (I’m not looking forward to vaccine #2. I’d like no more teaching!)