Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

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How Do You Measure A Year In The Life?

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In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
In 525,600 minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?*

Another year is ending, and while we thought last year was unique as we endured a pandemic-induced disruption of daily life, this one has left us further changed.

Did you go back to work? Did you quit? Did you shift your priorities? Did you discover something new about yourself?

How do you measure this year in your life?

I’m measuring in time spent with people. A lot more with many and too little with some and then others who fell away due to safety protocols or truthfully, politics. It was a terrific year for my business, but my life is smaller, and I like it. Less travel, zoom rooms instead of large gatherings, and more time at home post shutdown than I would’ve expected.

I’m happier with a smaller sphere, reaching more people with less sweat, stress and miles crossed. The camera has become my friend. Not something hits extrovert, ex-performer would have expected.

How do you measure a year in the life?

Truth. Tears shared. Healing.
Music, togetherness, laughter.
Internet purchases, redecorating (still only half completed)
New connections, new community (online),
New knowledge, pushing up against the edges, testing limits
Breaking barriers, standing in strength
Allowing partnership, asking for help.
Learning, learning, learning. Crying some.
Laughter, laughter, more laughter.
Love. A return to love**.

How will you measure yours?

I wish you every wish come true for this season of light-filled holidays.

Work: Are You Bored?

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There’s a parenting practice where if your child complains that they’re bored, you come back with “If you have an imagination, there’s no such thing as being bored.”

And the parent sends the kid off to use their imagination and challenges them to create something to do.

What about you?

The adult version of bored, especially at work, speaks volumes about letting yourself be on autopilot for way too long and snuffing out any thoughts about a way out of what you’re doing now. This doesn’t apply to corporately employed job holders alone. It also applies to business owners and entrepreneurs who feel stymie by what they’ve created, even if it’s highly successful.

Unsettled and antsy? Or has it turned into depression?

Here’s what to do if you’re BORED.

Be aware

Feelings of angst, frustration, lethargy and sometimes despair can indicate that you have lost interest and satisfaction in your work.

Overthrow the outdated

This is a huge wake up call. It’s time to UPLEVEL. Gain new skills, admit it’s time for a new job and if you’re an entrepreneur give yourself a business challenge. It might be removing yourself more from your business, dropping the bottom third of your clientele, or entering a new market for your services.

Realize you’ve grown

It is possible to outgrow a job or career. You can coast and die inside, reinvent your work where you are or start the process of figuring out what is next. CLEARLY, any of these choices are easier said than done, but in my experience, those are the choices at hand.

Expect success

When boredom strikes, it’s a sign that you are not living up to your potential. You’re likely scared of making a move or trying something new, so you let that uncertainty fester into boredom and ennui. Although it may be hard to imagine, make moves to take that growth step and do so expecting success. You don’t have to let go of your sure-thing yet but start moving. Eventually, you’ll have no choice but to let go of the old (or at least the form it’s currently in).

I remember when someone I was coaching had been developing a side hustle through our work. There came a point where she resented her job because it was in the way of all the activities she wanted to be doing in her new business. That was the point at which we knew it was time for the leap. The side hustle wasn’t paying all the bills yet, but it needed all the time, effort and energy the job was taking to take it the last mile to full success.

She succeeded.

Delete doubt

Doubt. Fear. Whatever you want to call It. It’ll be there but don’t let it stop you.

Never stop moving forward. Keep moving the needle on your next reach. Boredom will dissipate. Energy will return. Feeling alive again will be worth beating the doubt.

If you have an imagination, you can’t be bored. Use your imagination to ‘Act As IF’ it’s already a done deal…THAT will beat back boredom, for sure.

The Pandemic Changed My Business: How One Question Might Help You

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The pandemic shut down was hard for so many people including people I know personally.

For me, it was fraught with challenges but turned out to be one of the best years I’ve had in a long time.

I shed 32 pounds after gaining 19 in the early months of the upheaval. Most of my work that required travel, public appearances and many active negotiations all died out to nothing.

I am fortunate to have coaching clients consistently and as crushing as it was to see my young adult children have the most exciting years of their youth brought to a complete halt, it was a treasured gift to have everyone under one roof for 18 months.

So many people contemplated their work and lives with the extra time at home and I’m not any different. Instead of drowning in anxiety about what I had lost and what the future might look like because of it, I decided to make a HUGE assumption that catapulted me into clarity and action and I’m so, so happy I did.

I said to myself: “SELF!—Proceed like none of it is coming back.”

I transformed my Now What? Coaching business, producing and delivering a new online version available to more people than I could possibly serve one on one  in my coaching practice.

I’ve given work to the coaches I’ve trained to use my methodology as a result and we’ve doubled the business. (Oh, and the other work has come back too!)

But here is what I really want to tell you.

I’m starting a second business. I’m not giving up my career coaching work nor the company that houses it. I am adding on something that I haven’t done since my early days as a founding member of the International Coaching Federation: serve coaches.

82% of talented people who train as a coach, quit within two years. As an ex-actor those numbers hit me extra hard because they are way too close to the numbers that the actors’ unions report about the percentage of members who don’t work.

That is UNACCEPTABLE to me. I have 27 years of experience and I’m preparing to share everything I know that has allowed me to sustain a profitable business through three huge economic downturns, the game-changing world of social media and more that is not worth dating myself over.

Every downturn in my business and life has become a catalyst for new growth and discoveries. They are not fun or particularly joyous and they can be outright painful, however, the sooner we mourn the loss, the sooner we can innovate.

I invite you, if you are in a valley, to adopt my question above: “What if it (the industry, the job, the money or even a person) is not coming back? Stop waiting and start moving.

I’m pumped up about my new offerings coming up and look forward to continuing to serve all you Now What?’ers who have stuck with me over the years!

Bypass Your Brain and Get to the Truth!

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Our brains are command central for all operations in our body but when it comes to finding direction for your life and career, it can be your biggest obstacle to clarity.

If I could invent a magic pill, it wouldn’t be one to make your wishes come true. It would be a pill to turn off the linear, logical, analytic, judgmental part of  your brain so you can compute POSSIBILITIES!

Week after week, I am in conversation with people trying to find their next professional step. My job is not to prescribe a path or psychically predict where they’ll end up.  It’s never been clearer that my job is to change people’s thinking. From no options to new horizons.

From impossible impasses to new tributaries—-it all gets down to how we think. If you think you’re too old, not good enough, part of an irreplaceable dead industry or too insolvent to go back to school, then YOU ARE!

I’m not talking about magical thinking or denying cold, hard facts but I am talking about finding what you are looking for. And if you’re looking for that list of NO’s, you’ll have no problem finding them. On the other hand, you can use  the same amount of energy looking for possibilities and open doors. It’s MUCH MORE PRODUCTIVE.

In a single one hour group call this week, with one simple exercise, we by-passed logic and unleashed exciting, life affirming possibilities:

(Names changed for confidentiality)

Jane, in a safe, well-paying job saw no way to get to her dream because of the cost of going back to school. With logic, out of the way, she reported in twelve hours later, that she had identified several programs where there are scholarship opportunities.

Roseanne, stuck and somewhat depressed for months, was paralyzed because her industry has shrunk, and she was seeing no other avenue for herself. When her left  brain was sideline by the exercise, she confessed she had a project she kept locked in a drawer that would open a whole new path for her.

She giggled in delight as she  promised to act the next day to contact a person who could point her in the right direction.

James asked to use a personal situation instead. A recent emergency put a spotlight on what had been missing for months in his romantic relationship. His logical, left brain convinced him that he would not find love again and that he had no choice but to settle for a relationship that was not ideal for him.

He admitted that the truth had to be told and was preparing for what that would mean. Instead of sadness, he felt relief and was feeling confident that he deserved and could find the partnership he needed.

Lillian reported being exhausted by her job and in a cyclical trap of not having the energy to work on the novel she’s been trying to write for years. She was stuck in a litany of reasons, all very logical, for having to shelve that project day after day, week after week and file it under ‘someday’.

Now this may seem obvious, but only when we used the exercise to remove the logic, it  was clear that writing had to happen first every, single day. The possibilities this unleashed revealed a path to Lillian’s dreams and she revealed that it wasn’t only one novel she was writing but that she has seven already mapped out in her mind! All in one quick conversation.

These are four examples of the eight we covered in one hour.

By now, you’re probably asking: “What is the exercise, Laura?!” It’s not going to be shared yet.

The reason being is that I want this read to prime the pump. Think about how you stop yourself from revealing what you really want. Notice how your beautiful brain gets in the way. Notice how every story I mentioned here revealed a hidden desire on top of the primary one.

Let those truths come out!

As it is said: “The truth will set you free”. It will unleash a fabulous, positive energy and THEN, you must act on it. None of the exercise matters if you don’t get into motion and stay in motion within the context of the new possibility/revealed truth.

Bypass your brain and get on with your (true) life! I’ll be right here to help.

The ‘Great Resignation’ and The Myths of Summer

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Have you caught wind of this month’s viral prediction? Experts are predicting the Great Resignation.

Post-pandemic, more people are clear about what they do and do not want from work and a vast percentage are considering quitting their jobs.  Contrary to previous assumptions about the season, there may be opportunities this summer. This presents some challenges to how we normally think about landing a job in the summer months.

Myth: No one is interviewing in the summer

TRUTH: You must be patient with vacations and things taking longer, but interviews happen in the summer because companies want everyone running full steam with full teams come fall.

Also, since many believe this myth, you’ll have a better chance of cutting through the usual noise and getting attention.

MYTH: You’ve got all summer

TRUTH:  No, you don’t.  Summer is not necessarily June, July, and August. It varies across the United States depending on school schedules.  Some states have kids out late May and going back in August. Others have kids out the end of June and going back after Labor Day. This determines vacations for most folks. Obviously, not everyone has school age children or children at all, but vacations usually follow these norms. Job seekers should think and plan accordingly.

Again, people want to fill openings  to hit fourth quarter running so assume nothing and stay in action.

Myth: The pandemic is over

TRUTH: Things are looking good in the U.S., but remember we had lots of freedom last summer too. The real test will be how we fare in the fall as we head back indoors again.   Will we be at herd immunity?  Will the variants affect our freedom to move around?

It matters to landing a job only because of the chaos it causes.  Therefore, another argument to use this summer wisely.

The Great Resignation has not yet come to fruition, but we see in our Now What?® community many people considering leaving their jobs. That creates opportunities as people move around. For those of you considering finding a better fit, stay in action identifying where you DO want to be and do let us know how we can help.

Is Normal What You Really Want?

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In New Jersey, COVID restrictions are being lifted and a quick return to  ‘normal’ is unfolding.

I spent every day of the Memorial Day weekend meeting with different friends and family we haven’t been able to see in over a year. It was fantastic to be with people and enjoy their company and catch up.  It was also a HUGE source of anxiety.

I may be in the minority, but I don’t want the pace of COVID life to end!

No commitments on the weekends, plenty of time to work out, very little time spent in traffic or even in my car, together-time with my children and husband and time to cook, crochet, do jigsaw puzzles and redecorate my office.

I am very aware that I am one of the fortunate people.  We did not lose a loved one to COVID and we did not fall into financial ruin.  For that, I’m utterly grateful. I’m also compassionately aware that those with small kids at home or who were fully isolated during COVID had a whole other experience than I did.

My gratitude extends to being able to retool my business in such a way that I don’t have to rely on pre-Covid revenue streams if I don’t want to. That freedom and the personal flexibility I described above are the hard-won pivot that I want to keep as life accelerates around me once again.

How about you?  Do you want your old life back?

What do you want back?

and to keep from COVID life?

What COVID gave me was time to discern what mattered.  It showed me what is clutter and what’s necessary.  In business, it illuminated which activities were worthwhile and mine to master versus those that kept me in limbo as I waited for others to choose me so I could do what I love.

In my house, I could see what was no longer serving me and had become junk (bye, bye). It also showed me which friendships were deep and which were convenient. It gave me time to lose 32 pounds with focused effort and drop the ‘big lie’ in my own life that held me back, just to name a few changes.

What COVID gave a spotlight to in my role as an observer of patterns among clients was the many ways in which we use activity to distract us from things that truly make a difference to our health, well-being, and productivity.

For example, being ‘busy’ is a great way to avoid acting on changing jobs because you’ve stopped growing.  Drama at work or in the family keeps you from working on discovering and processing the triggers that make you want to create (or participate) in the drama in the first place!

What time and space allow for is awareness, mindfulness, and purpose. Doing things purposefully. Doing things on purpose vs. reacting to hair triggers.

Modern life makes it hard to be that mindful.  We reward stress. We reward heroic overworking. BUT YOU CAN reverse the Pavolvian response we have to those expectations.

Stop. Now. While you can still swim, before the current washes you into the barely navigable rapids, take stock.  What do you want to keep from COVID life? Make some new rules. (i.e., only one day/ night of the weekend is scheduled, the other is for spontaneity or nothing) Put some stakes in the ground, even with yourself about exercise, or quiet time, or reading or whatever it is for you.

Make good use of your time. It’s all you’ve got.