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Laura Berman Fortgang

This Will Be the Year I Enjoy the Holidays

By Laura Berman Fortgang on December 18, 2019

Every year, I set out in mid-November to “enjoy the holiday season.” To me, that means not rushing, stressing, and feeling pulled to complete so many obligations. Instead, I imagine watching as many corny Christmas movies as I want, wrapping gifts with time to spare, being done with shopping before the stores swell with holiday shoppers, and really relishing the time with friends and family. Well, hahahaha (or should I say Ho Ho Ho?) It never happens.

BUT…

This year, I’m on track to really do this.

Running for office left me with a very open calendar in November and December because I didn’t know if I’d be training for taking office, finding staff for a January inauguration, and setting up my life for this new honored position. With the results not being what I’d hoped, I had November and December available to me like never before.

It seems so obvious, but what was wrong all those other times, (and even what was wrong with my coaching advice for years) was that being concrete about where one could say “no” is just not enough. It’s enough to help enjoy the holi-DAY, a special event here or there, but not enough to create a season that is really fun and joyful.

This Will Be The Year I Enjoy the Holidays by Laura Berman FortgangShopping early enough to avoid crowds, taking my time with all the things that used to be last minute, really indulging in connecting with people who want to get together before the year is out, and having the time to plan and strategize the new year has been like pressing “pause” on the usual holiday chaos. It’s truly a pleasure.

This year’s schedule was an unintended bonus, and I now know what it feels like to have the holiday season I’ve always intended. Once we feel it, we have sense memory. Our body remembers, and so will our cognitive memory. We can’t unknow what we now know!

So, if I were to make this repeatable and shareable so you can do it too, I’d say:

  • Move a lot of your business planning to early fall.
  • Keep your days light in November and December (allows for spontaneity).
  • Take advantage of stores being open very early (before work or right after school drop off!)
  • Bake your goodies early and freeze them.
  • On any night that you cook, make double so you’ve saved yourself time another night.
  • Decorate early too. It feels like holiday longer!
  • Chill. Just ratchet down the holiday hysteria and give up perfection … it ain’t happening!

I hope there’s still time to put this in place for the last two weeks of the year, but if not, start planning for the next. It takes that much intentionality. I promise it’s worth it.

And while you’re at it, planning your new year should include our Now What? Home Study Kit if you are up for a career shift.

Filed Under: Lessons Learned, Life Lessons, Taking Action Tagged With: Clarity, coaching, Laura Berman Fortgang, life coach, Now What Coaching, take action

The Making of a Drama: Fact vs. Interpretation

By Laura Berman Fortgang on November 22, 2019

The post-conference photo of the office staff on Instagram had two people on the farthest right and left cut out of it. Was it a purposeful slight to those people or did the person who posted not know how to use the feature where you can pinch the screen to fit the whole photo in?

Should this be the making of an office drama? You get to decide.

Drama prone people will jump to the conclusion that fits their narrative and fears and be certain their interpretation is correct. They will begin to spin out about it. They will gossip about it, act out emotionally and perpetuate the drama with retaliatory action or building resentment, and they will poll others to gain consensus that their interpretation is correct.

People who notice the photo but have no interest in drama might make another assumption or ask the posting party if the edit was intentional and help them learn how to do it properly the next time.

The Making of a Drama: Fact vs. Interpretation

If you love drama, gossip, feeling “in the know,” feeling powerful by building negative narratives about other people, then you either belong in politics or enjoy the adrenaline high you get from the feeling of temporary power (or both!)

This drama dynamic exists in families, workplaces, schools, social clubs, houses of worship, charity boards, volunteer groups—anywhere people gather and have to work together on projects or share common goals.

Think about it. Where would you rather spend your time? Moving a project forward or hunkering down in a gossip fest? Hey, I get it. Sometimes gossiping is fun, but let’s get serious. Ultimately we want the successful outcome of a gathering, endeavor, project, or contract.

How do we accomplish that? It’s simple; stick to the facts and question your interpretation of them.

Fact: The project is not on schedule

Interpretation A: Johnny is not doing his part
                                B: Nobody cares as much as I do
                                C: There isn’t timely or even enough communication between team members
                                D: This is a disaster and there’s nothing I can do
                                E: Maybe there is something going on with one of the team members personally that is                                                        affecting their performance

One fact, multiple interpretations. Usually the facts are pretty clear to all parties. It’s the interpretations that create the problem. We all filter what we see through our own perception based on our make-up and experience and level of personal growth.

There’s a very simple solution: Ask questions. Get a handle (without accusations) on what is going on. Not everyone will be truthful, especially if asked a direct question, but you can overcome that.

Here’s a formula: Deal with the FACTS

Fact: Get everyone to agree on the fact—Do we all see the same thing? i.e. the project is not on schedule

Assumption: What are we assuming about this? What interpretation is dominant?

Check: Are there other interpretations we can assess or discuss?

Target: What do we need to do to adjust (without BLAME) and what action can we agree to moving forward?

Set: Set new targets, goals, make agreements and explore consequences of not meeting the next benchmark

Go! Move on. Be done. Don’t entertain the gossip or the drama. Don’t take the bait and get caught on drama’s hook. Your team/committee and the outcome of your project will be better for it.

The Instagram post? Fact: A couple of people were cut out. Assumption: Choose the one that moves everyone forward. Stop the drama in its tracks.

You’re welcome.

Small minds discuss people.
Average minds discuss events.
Great minds discuss ideas.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Filed Under: Lessons Learned, Life Lessons, Now What? Newsletter Articles Tagged With: Clarity, Laura Berman Fortgang, Now What Coaching

A Surprising Way to Learn a Little More about Yourself

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 9, 2019

When it comes to crafting your resume, there are things you might overlook or take for granted.

It might be worth combining your personal attempts with an automated resume builder – at least that’s what this writer discovered. Can’t hurt to give it a try!

4 Surprising Career Lessons I Learned From Using a Free Resume Builder

A Surprising Way to Learn a Little More about Yourself through Crafting Your Resume

Filed Under: Job Change, Job Search, Lessons Learned, Life Lessons Tagged With: Career coach, Career Coaching, entrepreneurs, Laura Berman Fortgang, Now What Coaching

Allow Your Intuition to Lead

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 23, 2019

When contemplating a career change, sometimes the mind is only part of the decision-making team.

Allow Your Intuition to LeadHere are some ways to tap your intuition about when it’s time to leave your current situation, and what might be next.

Allow your intuition to connect you to the “who” you are becoming.

How To Build Your Career On Intuition

Filed Under: Job Change, Job Search, Taking Action Tagged With: career, Career Change, Career Coaching, career path, career transition, Change, Laura Berman Fortgang, life coach, Now What Coaching, take action

Trust Your Gut!

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 2, 2019

When making key decisions (like what job is the “right” one for you), it’s great to know that one of our strongest guides lives within us – our intuition.

Trust your intuitionRather than taking a bunch of assessments or seeking outside counsel, when we learn to tune in and trust the guidance that comes from our gut feelings, we are far more likely to land on something that really resonates.

Deploying Your Intuition to Find Your Ideal Career

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: career, Career coach, Career Coaching, career path, Clarity, Laura Berman Fortgang, Now What Coaching

Fumbling at Forty?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 29, 2019

It happens . . . things go along well for a couple of decades, and suddenly you find life has happened in unexpected ways, and you’re not sure how to enter a new career path.

Making a Career Change at 40Be gentle with yourself as you begin moving forward. Here are some things to consider to support you along the way.

I’m Ashamed of My Work History and Want to Make a Career Change at 40

Filed Under: Job Change, Job Satisfaction, Job Search, Lessons Learned, Life Lessons, Reinventing Yourself, Taking Action Tagged With: career, Career Change, Career coach, Career Coaching, career path, career transition, Change, Laura Berman Fortgang, Now What Coaching

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