Laura Berman Fortgang

Tips, Tricks and Truths to Working from Home

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 15, 2020

Summer is winding down as school, work and life tries to find normalcy in a changed world. As someone who has worked from home since the 90’s evolving from a sliver of space in my bedroom in the apartment I shared with my boyfriend (now 27-year husband) to having the bigger of our two home offices with three college-age kids under our roof, I’m devoting this issue to those of you who might be in varied stages of sharing your space.

I can relate to your pain, but we have to cope and find our way.

Here are some TRUTHS to remember:

Distractions are REAL and CONVENIENT (choose wisely).
HOME chores can wait (don’t use them to procrastinate, extra points for multi-tasking that doesn’t disrupt your work).
COMPROMISE will have to become your middle name.
WORK will take over your life like THE BLOB (make rules and set boundaries).
CHILDREN will take over your life like THE BLOB (they are capable of more than you ask of them).
PEOPLE WHO HOMESCHOOL (pre-COVID), do not do so six hours a day. 2-3 hours tops! (don’t stress and know that distance learning for six hours is unrealistic for most kids but especially elementary school and middle school).
LIFE IS NOT FAIR (just a reminder).

Here are some TIPS to consider:

DO what you DREAD MOST first (do the hardest thing first).
ASK for meeting agendas (or provide them) so your time is not wasted.
CREATE a space for each worker/student in your home (even if you are just in separate corners).
DETERMINE DAILY SCHEDULES in concert with all household member (even young kids) There is less conflict when everyone knows in advance what is going on.
DETERMINE who needs one-on-one time to perform best and who doesn’t (your team members or kids).
GET ALONE time for a few minutes a day even if it means waking earlier.

Here are some TRICKS to try:

AUTOMATE what you can (grocery delivery, workflow, use your technology)
Have kids EARN screen time or other privileges that used to be a given (delegate those chores!)
INCLUDE younger kids in your work (can they make copies, write a legal argument or presentation? (just to keep them busy, not for reals, silly! My daughter wrote a book when she was six while I was writing mine—gave me gaps of time to work!)
MULTI-TASK your down time. Yes, we all deserve to just turn off and do nothing or watch TV, but we can also fold laundry, sew on a button, pay bills or some of the other chores that don’t need to happen during the workday.

This is no picnic but how soon we’ll be back to “normal” is anybody’s guess. We may find some new ways of working and doing school that will transcend COVID time and become a good thing in the long run.

I have no doubt you are creative and resourceful. I hope these ideas help.

P.S. I’ve avoided suggesting too many things that require high costs. I know there are people hiring their own teacher in a pod or paying for all in-home services or deliveries. Not all have those avenues available. Where can you join forces with someone who could use more help? How do we find solutions that work for everybody?

You’re Being Let Go! Don’t Panic. Do This Instead.

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 17, 2020

You’ve been called in to someone’s office and told that you’re being relieved of your post. You are not being walked out the door within the hour, but rather, you have been advised that you are part of upcoming cuts and that you have a couple of weeks before your last day.

It stings. It hurts. Your anxiety kicks in as your mind races through the images of bills piled up on the kitchen counter and the savings goals you had been working on going to hell.

It’s human nature to want to know why this is happening and to begin gathering as much information as possible to justify, reconcile and absorb what might stabilize the shock. I’m here to warn you that spending the remainder of your employed time processing why this is happening to you is throwing away a great opportunity.

Inspired by a question on our Now What?® Community Call last month, I want to help you focus on what can make a profound difference to your future while you are still on the job.

The young woman who posed the question told us that her time in her position was coming to an end. Her first instinct was to find out who knew why this was happening, and if they had anything to do with it. She was naturally upset, confused, and defensive.

“Don’t get sucked into a drama,” I responded. “Spending your time figuring out who did what and why will waste energy and deprive you of a golden opportunity.”

She saw immediately how easily she was headed down the drama path. She shifted as we spoke to see that instead, she could use the time to cement relationships she’d been meaning to improve anyway for which she had never had the time.

She saw that she could gather industry knowledge from colleagues and bosses while she built bridges instead of burning them.

As she had these conversations, she learned she was liked and that the job really wasn’t a fit, so she felt more confident knowing she would find the next thing AND leave good mojo in her wake.

If you get this news, should you also start looking for a job right away? Absolutely! However, remember how you leave a room is just as important as the first impression you make upon entering.

Try to calm your fear and anxiety about the unknown future and make a graceful exit. Network, say goodbye, get advice, share appreciation, and if asked for an exit survey or asked to give feedback, be truthful but gracious.

“We are letting you go,” does not have to be your cue to rage. It can be your cue to begin strategically reaping the good that’s left from your current role (no stealing please).

Deal with the emotions outside of work and make the process of finding your next move as strategic as your exit. Let us know how we can help.

The Shifting Landscape

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 13, 2020

After 9/11, I remember many people feeling that there was no point to their day-to-day activities. Concerns that seemed so crucial a mere week or month before the towers fell now felt meaningless. The loss of lives and the loss of our assumed safety was shattering.

Within four days of 9/11, my phone and inbox were flooded with inquiries for coaching. People felt life was short and unpredictable, and they would no longer tolerate living a life that ran them into the ground with little satisfaction besides a paycheck.

The COVID-19 disruption is very different. Where life stopped for the NY Metro area after 9/11, it is now stopped in most of the country and most places in the world. It’s a global pause.

It’s been an unpredictable, unprecedented stop to almost everything. Pollution has been reduced dramatically due to the halting of manufacturing and travel in the air and on the ground.

People are hunkered down with their families or have more alone time than they ever bargained for. Buildings and streets are empty to the tune of a haunting silence.

We are keenly aware of the financial halt. So many jobs lost, so many bottom lines threatened, so many people feeling scared and despair setting in. No matter how badly we crave “normal,” we are still on pause.

WE ARE STILL ON PAUSE . . .

However, going back to normal is a misnomer. How long will it be until you are comfortable being in a theater, a sporting event, an office or a school? Lifting the shelter-in-place order does not change the realities of getting infected with or unknowingly carrying this virus.

So what are we left with? The greatest reorganization in most of our lifetimes.

How do we want to live? How do we want to care?

The skies are clear. Are we OK with picking up where we left off? If things continue as they were, it is likely we have less than ten years to save the planet.

Our bosses never thought working from home could serve the mission and yet, isn’t everyone learning they can do quite a lot without being face-to-face? By now we know if we want to homeschool full time (probably not!).

Sure, we want our kids to be happy and engaged, but did we really need to have every available time slot taken up by enriching activities? Books, puzzles, games, together time and family meals are pretty enriching, if you ask me. Do you really want to pick up where we left off, or are you ready to make a change?

The question this time, I think, is deeper than the one that arose from the 9/11 pause. People are not jumping into hyper-drive as they did after 9/11, and more people are questioning deeply as they sit in the pause. It’s been a prompt to examine what makes a life.

How do we measure it? How would you like to measure it? The threat of terrorism is no small thing, but the threat to hundreds of thousands of lives has given us time to be and to think.

That “itch” you may feel might be cabin fever, or it could be boredom, but in my experience, boredom is a prompt to create meaning. It’s not that you have nothing to DO that’s bothering you.

It’s more about not trusting what’s shown up. It’s actually an opportunity to redirect your energy and attention.

The coaching clients that are showing up now are less panicked than those of September 2001. Feeling at the top of your game and itching for something else? Ready to stand up for what YOU want and make it a reality? Wondering how you got where you are and wanting to press reset? These are the scenarios rising to the top of awareness that are ready to be addressed.

If they’re yours too, we should talk. The Now What?® program will help. Reach out to me or to one of our Now What?® facilitators, and let’s work together toward that tomorrow you want to create.

Crises Reveal The Essence of Things

By Laura Berman Fortgang on April 10, 2020

It is said that the true state of a marriage is laid bare in the face of a crisis. If it was strong, the relationship will grow stronger with the crisis. If it was already breaking, the crisis will deepen the fissures to breaking. It is the same for each of us as individuals. We are being shown what we are made of.

The current state of affairs among the crisis of the COVID-19 pandemic is laying bare our own essence. The novelty of our new “normal” is wearing off and reality is setting in.

We are seeing the virus hit closer to home as beloved celebrities and people you know are being affected or passing away. Generally, we are scared, and what is revealed is the state of our ability to deal with the unknown and our ability to be alone with that state.

There are so many questions and things that don’t have a clear solution right now. However, I offer you a few things to think about, journal about or discuss.

1) How are you?

I’m not asking about your physical health, but rather about your state of mind. How ARE you? Are you freaking out?, mildly worried? and relatively at peace knowing that you are controlling what you can right now?

Be with that for a few minutes. What is being revealed about your essence – your baseline of how you deal with things?

2) Who are you?

How do you show up during this time? Are you a helper? A researcher? An organizer of others? A nurturer? A hunter/gatherer? (our family’s joke about the search for toilet paper and essential items). Are you an alarmist? The rebel?, activist? and one fueled by outrage? (all are just fine)

What is the crisis showing you about how you show up? For me, it’s not much different than “regular life.” I’m the driver; I make sure young people get out of bed and don’t teen-sleep the day away, make sure there’s a meal every night, and herd the screen worshipers to connect as a family every night. (How much do I love them not being able to run off to friends, jobs and activities? Sorry. Not sorry). Professionally, the driver is making you think, absorb and evolve. It’s who I am. It’s what I do.

3) Who do you want to be?

If these questions are not revealing characteristics that you’re happy with or proud of, consider who you want to be. Where can you refocus your energy to practice the qualities you want to embody as you ground yourself for whatever is awaiting us?

A dear friend and colleague of mine often speaks about her aspiration to live with grace. Whenever she’s faced with a challenge, she puts her attention on handling all of it with grace, her highest value.

We are on hold. In the absence of action, there is suspension. Like the moment when the orchestra stops playing as the conductor raises both his arms in the air indicating a pause. All goes still, but there is anticipation and preparation lingering and holding, until the sudden indication that all can move forward again in a burst of sound.

For all of us, the outcome is unknown. Will there be a depression? Will the loss of life deeply impact how we can lead our lives? Will we see or want different things when we get to resume?

We don’t know, Are still in the surrender and will be transformed by this.

Watch how and who you are being. It’s the best preparation for what is to come.

Don’t Stay Stuck – Change Your Career

By Laura Berman Fortgang on January 29, 2020

Think you’re too old to change jobs or careers if you are 40 or beyond? Think again!

Now might be the perfect time to make a move.

Here’s why along with a few tips to help you make the shift smoothly and well!

Why It’s A Great Idea To Change Careers When You Are 40

Ghosted: Job Search Edition

By Laura Berman Fortgang on January 15, 2020

Looking for a job opportunity in the digital age is like dating in the digital age. You scroll, you swipe right, you wink, you might even “hook up” (interviews) and then … ghosted.
No response.
No indication of what went wrong.
Just silence.

Not that blissful experience of standing on a mountain taking in the vast expanse. No.
It’s the harsh, still crash into a wall of uncertainty.

How to cope?

First, understanding what you’re feeling may be helpful to moving past it and getting back on track to finding employment. Rejection is not a good time. It hurts, it’s confusing when you think you’re doing everything right, and it’s scary because the clock is ticking on your ability to go without an income.

Rejection kicks up shame, but most importantly, it lock jambs your emotional system. You set out with hope and an idea of what could be possible if that job works out. Then, every blocked path strips you of those good feelings. No wonder we get depressed and want to give up.

Please don’t.

BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
Being good to yourself doesn’t mean indulging in binge watching shows or staying in your jammies all day. It means not being hard on yourself about your state of affairs, and it means putting a structure to your days that keeps you healthy and engaged.

Eat right, do some exercise, have social contact to look forward to, and make a structured “work time” to do your job search as a task and not an “if I get to it today” item.

It also means increasing your self-care to the levels it might not have been at while you were employed and busy (meditation, yoga, walks, biking — whatever makes you feel centered and at ease).

NETWORK
In addition to watching job postings and applying for them, get out to industry events or other gatherings that will expand your network. Having a warm contact is always better than no contact, and you never know how putting yourself in opportunity’s way will help you.

GET SUPPORT
To get through the emotional roller coaster and for brainstorming strategies, it might serve you to look for like-minded people in a career-oriented forum. All it takes is googling ‘career support group’, a dose of courage, and a slice of “humble pie.”

The benefits are likely to be that you’ll discover you’re not alone, that you may be in a better scenario than you thought, and that you’ll gain some strategies or at least some camaraderie.

MIND YOUR KEYWORDS*
Research the companies you are applying to and start adding more of the company’s language (even industry jargon) to your cover letter and resume. Get more hits by improving your keywords to those that will be caught by the ATS (applicant tracking system).

Also, become more specific on your resume. Watch for too much generalization. Instead of saying: “Created system that saved millions for our department,” say instead: “Created a multi-faceted system that reduced costs by 40% ($2.5 million) and increased productivity by 20%.”

As with dating, there is no better remedy to the uncertainty and delicate state of your needs and desires than to take your power back and keep your ship steady and pointed in the direction you want to go. Stop letting the tides and whims of others and the job market sink your emotional ship.

Stay buoyed by these tips, and when you feel desperate, keep your head up and double the job search action you are taking. I can’t promise you’ll never be ghosted, but I do know you can even out the collateral damage to your self-esteem and improve your job search success.