Career coach

Is It Flying Or Is It Just Me?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 23, 2014

The last few years have felt like they’ve been speeding by and this one is on steroids compared to them. I feel catapulted into outer space by the speed at which time flies. Oddly, the feeling bookends the individual days that seem to have plenty of time in them.

The push and pull, pulse-racing and deep breathing seems to be the ying and yang of recent times and I think it reflects what happens for the clients I work with on their careers. The rhythm of life and business don’t have a steady pace. It ebbs and flows and so does your career search or your ability to move ahead.

Can you harness that or control it? The key is to be ready for it and expect it. Circumstances don’t stay good or bad. Things are always in flux.

The way to deal with it is to create conditions you can control. You can control (or at least plan) a structure within which to work on the changes you want to create. Be consistent in those actions. For example, if you are looking into what you might do next or you are sending out resumes, keep doing the research and wallpapering the internet with your resume no matter what. Repetition is key.

I’ve recently started to step up my exercise regime after a long streak of doing minor amounts of physical activity due mostly to back issues. I hate working out so much it was easy to let the smallest amount of pain keep me from trying. However, the middle-age spare tire has been growing and the lazy streak had to stop. I’ve had to get back up to speed slowly—first taking restorative yoga classes and aerial yoga which is very easy on the body. Finally, it was time to take an intermediate level class. After the first one, I couldn’t walk for five days. Once I could walk, I came back every other day. My level of fitness is increasing. Weight loss will come but consistency is going to be the most important factor. I’m not back to doing a headstand or handstand. I am not back to full flexibility but I know it will come if I keep up consistent action. I know that they gym with weights and cardio will interest me again as I keep feeling better and wanting to build strength further and further.

Here is what I want you to take away from this. Consistent action. We can’t wait to see success. We have to just keep building and stop measuring the results.

Obviously, you are not going to persist if something is not working at all but with steady, consistent work peppered with the occasional burst of high-intensity creativity and action will get results. Just don’t give up. I’m saying that to myself too.

I worked with Scott in the last year on figuring out what he wanted to do with his life. We succeeded at gaining clarity on what his next career move needed to include to gain the satisfaction he was missing. When we parted ways, his job was to keep networking to make his way into a new field. What transpired over consistent action and time (less then four months) was that he was approached by a vendor he worked with through his job to lead their $800 million company. Scott’s story will appear in the updated and revised anniversary edition of Now What? coming out March 2015 so stay tuned for details.

Be consistent. Keep on your career quest. I’ll keep going to the (yoga) mat. Time won’t stand still for us but we will be less at the effect of it if we stay the course.

I Want To Quit!!!

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 12, 2014

Exploring next career moves, doing a job search or starting a new endeavor like your own business are all daunting and often, frustrating propositions.

Many times you’ll come up against a lack of results or clarity that dumps a heap of hopelessness on you in the from of “I want to quit!!” Should you?

To quit or not to quit? What do you think I’m going to say? No! Of course, you don’t quit. Not yet anyway.

I always say: “ Life will tell you if you’re wrong. YOU don’t need to decide”. Roadblocks, a lack of results, obstacles and setbacks—those could all certainly be interpreted as life saying, “give up”. But maybe there’s another message.

If you were running a race or working out at the gym and you experienced pain, you’d have the choice to stop or to work through it. Most athletes work through it being sensitive to the threshold where they’d cause major injury. The smart ones also know to build in recovery time in between the big competitions or work outs.

When it comes to your exploration or ramp-up, ‘pain’ can mean, “Wait!” Just pull back, observe, divert your attention to something else to gain perspective and then
re-engage.

Taking your foot off the accelerator and coasting in ‘neutral’ for a bit can go a long way to knowing whether to proceed and how to do so or whether to redirect your energies to something else altogether.

Maureen is Senior VP in the finance industry and she has been on a campaign to further her career. She knew it wasn’t time to begin a job search but she did feel that strategizing a way to be better known and more valuable in her organization as well as her industry at large, was necessary to her future plans.

She made a Herculean commitment to networking and even cold calling at an ambitious pace of several times a week. She was quite successful and then hit a wall. People weren’t calling back at the same rate, the lunch meetings weren’t happening and the pipeline was drying up.

There was some harsh self-criticism, berating herself for quitting her pace, but we reframed that to allow herself some breathing room. In the open space, an opportunity appeared to be given larger responsibility along with greater exposure within her company. Succeeding at the new task would be a huge boost and resume-building highlight which would poise her for a promotion or better opportunity elsewhere.

Let’s call what happened to Maureen the result of ‘focused in-action’. She wasn’t giving up but she was allowing a break to see what might emerge. In this case, an opportunity came up but you might find inspiration for a different strategy, the idea to call on someone else you may need to talk to or you may find a slight course correction.

The next time you want to quit, take a break instead. Allow some focused in-action and pick up within two to three weeks. If you go longer, it will become unfocused in-action and you could derail. If nothing emerges in your break, you may need to go back to drawing board. It’s OK.

Quit? Never. You may have to go a different way but keep your eye on the ultimate prize—-a satisfying line of work. It just may look different than you thought.

Let us know how we can help.

Protect Yourself from Yack, Yack, Yack

By Laura Berman Fortgang on June 18, 2013

Have you ever been sitting in the waiting room for an interview or other important meeting where people start yacking? Some are bragging, some are just answering questions from the braggart, and some are trying to stay out of it but suffering through the noise unable to block it out.

Sound familiar?

Which one are you? Does it matter?

Let’s explore why it does matter. It’s all about energy. When you are nervous about an interview or meeting new people, you need all the energy you have for you. The braggart is sucking energy out of the room by talking loudly, the person answering the questions is getting their energy sucked out of them and even the person who is gritting their teeth through it is losing energy to the scene going on.

Now the braggart thinks they are “all that” but the truth is they are not in the best standing either. They may go into the interview a bit too adrenalized and full of the energy they sucked from everyone else. That’s not always the best impression either.

So what to do?

Conserve Your Energy

No matter which one of the three holding room types you are, managing your energy is an important skill.

Imagine you are a big tank like those that hold water or gas. Every time you get nervous, stressed or someone steals your energy by being negative or taking up all the air in a room, your tank springs a leak. Your job is to keep your tank from leaking.

Take Slow Deep Breaths

You don’t have to close your eyes and go all zen, but take deep, slow breaths that you can really physically feel as your lungs fill up and expand. Let it out slowly. Deep controlled breathing soothes the nerves and brings oxygen to where it’s needed.

Focus on Something

If you don’t want to focus solely on your breath for the duration of your wait, read your notes or even pretend you are reading something. Keep your focus on your internal self not out into the room where you could get sucked into a conversation.

Dissuade Space Hogs

If someone does try to break into your space, you can politely say:
“I hope you’ll excuse me, I’m determined to read this now.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m better off keeping quiet right now.”

(Try these on planes when you don’t want to engage a chatty seat mate, too!)

Envision Your Results

With eyes closed if you can, take a couple of minutes to envision in your mind’s eye how you want the meeting to go. Imagine the job being offered to you or your proposal being accepted. Imagine friendly faces inside that room you are waiting to enter. If you’re not feeling confident, imagine yourself very confident in stance and attitude.

Consider this your mental preparation.

Yacks are hacks. Hold your tongue as tempting as it is and fill up your tank with the good energy you’ll need to shine.