Change

Career Change in the Land of Possibility

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 30, 2022

I was working with a client recently who had 23 years of experience in the mortgage industry. She didn’t think she could do anything else because her resume said she was a professional lender. This client honestly couldn’t imagine any other possibilities.

I had my work cut out for me, but I knew my methods were proven and that we’d find new paths. Above all, as a coach, you know our job is to stand in the Land of Possibility. We can’t believe the “story” that there are no other options.

That doesn’t mean we are out of touch with reality. I’m always telling my clients I’m not going to lead them off a cliff or ask them to run away with the circus. I am here to help them decide where to invest their time, attention, and energy.

Are they investing in what can’t happen? Or are you investing in what CAN happen? Are you investing in what can’t happen or what can? (for yourself)

Consider this —

People often tell me they can’t land their dream job, change careers, reach for their dream income, or start a business because of their age.

Is there some truth to that? Yeah!

But does it serve you to dwell on it? Does the fact that limits exist mean you should sit at home, doing nothing — investing in the impossibility of your next moves? Of course not.

Limitfull thinking won’t get you anywhere.

When you’re a committed pessimist, you are vying for the worst possible outcome — fully vested in proving yourself right. But what if you’re wrong? Why pursue defeat?

This is why it’s important to make a distinction between what’s possible and what’s probable.

Think about it…

When we first created the U.S. Space program, did we think it was probable that we’d make it to the moon on the first shot? Well, it wasn’t likely. But somebody had to think it was possible, or why bother? And look what happened.

Now consider what you’re telling yourself about your career:
”I’m too old.”
“I don’t have the enough experience.”
“Nobody’s gonna hire me.”
“This’ll never work.”

Does investing in this “impossible” thinking serve you? No.

What does serve you is standing in the Land of Possibility.

With my client — the professional mortgage expert I mentioned earlier — we broke down the blocks she was experiencing, and l got her back in touch with all the things she LIKES to do but had stuffed down as impossibilities.

That list came in handy when she found herself facing big industry shifts and a potential layoff two months later.

Rather than staying stuck in the “impossible,” I challenge you to invest your time, attention, and energy into what’s possible too.

I challenge you to do the work and explore the Land of Possibility with clarity and gusto.

Career Lessons Learned from the Royal Family

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 16, 2022

We just witnessed the end of an era.

After a lifetime of service to her country, the reign of Queen Elizabeth II came to an end — a sad day for so many worldwide.

We also witnessed a new beginning, as the man we’ve always known as Prince Charles transitioned into his role as King Charles III.

At nearly 74 years old, he’s stepping into a job he’s been planning and training for since childhood. Talk about succession planning!

As a career coach, I can’t help but find this fascinating.

While most of us set out to land a job that best suits us, we often make compromises that land us where we never expected to be. We don’t always get to follow the plan we charted from the start.

When Queen Elizabeth took the throne at age 26, she declared that no matter how long or short her life was, she was committed to being of service.

If you’ve ever been in survival mode, you might find yourself muttering “must be nice.” Being of service is a whole lot easier if paying the bills isn’t at the forefront of your mind. But hear me out…

If you’re finding yourself in a career conundrum right now, with no idea where to turn next, you’ll find your answer in their story.

I know, I know — it might not seem relatable.

But like Charles, you’ve been preparing for something all these years too. Like Elizabeth, you can answer the call to service too. Sure, you don’t have the royal family’s coffers behind you, but we’re all human, and we all have the ability to make the most of our lot in life.

Think about it. Ask yourself:

What do I have? What are my skills? What is my training?
Where are the places I’ve been fortunate enough to be that have prepared me to be of service?
What are the experiences that have built my career and life to this point?

Here’s a hint: The answers aren’t in your resume.

Think about the big picture. Consider what you’ve overcome. Reflect on the things that made you who you are on a deeper level. This isn’t about job titles or tasks completed; it’s about who you’ve become in the process.

We opened up registration for our new and improved (and sweetly priced) Now What?® Experience, where participants will do the “soul search” before the job search with our guidance and support. We close registration Tuesday at midnight eastern. You can still join us there!

How to Bounce Back from Burnout

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 30, 2022

There’s been a lot of talk about burnout lately … and rightly so.

It’s not just some buzzword, but a very real thing that more and more people are dealing with every day.

We’ve all been through a lot over the past couple of years, and no matter what else was going on in the news or in life, we’ve had to keep pushing — to keep the money flowing in, to keep the bills paid, and to keep our careers intact.

It’s been intense. Even though things are a little less so now, the after effect of it all is hitting people hard. So if you’re feeling this, you’re not alone.
In my case, I spent the past year in serious caregiver mode for two different family members. While I’m grateful that my business allowed me the flexibility to do that, I hit burnout mode — big time.

I knew that if I didn’t pull back, my own health would be on the line. So that’s what I did, and now I’m in bounce-back mode.

I’ve been here before — at different times, for different reasons — so the good news is, I knew what to do. Now I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve that I thought I’d share with you in case you’re finding yourself heading towards (or trying to recover from) burnout too.

Best case scenario: Take a break. Use your personal days, medical leave, or whatever you need to do to unplug completely. And do it BEFORE your body forces you to.

If that’s not an option — and let’s face it, it’s probably not — here’s what to do instead:

1. Step back from people, activities, responsibilities, and obligations that are not absolutely necessary. You just have to stop, even if it’s hard, even if it ruffles feathers. They’ll get over it … or not; it won’t be the end of the world. If you don’t quit, it could be the end of you. I’m not being dramatic here; your life depends on it.

2. Start spending more time in nature. This isn’t a nice-to-do, it’s a must-do. Put your feet in the grass and connect with the earth. Sit by the water. Find a park. Look up at the sky. Move your body. Nurturing yourself in nature calms your nervous system like nothing else. You’ll feel so much better.

3. “Quiet quit” your job — You’re hearing a lot about this right now, and it’s not to be confused with actually quitting. In case you’ve yet to hear about this, just google it. In a nutshell, the idea is to step back and do the bare minimum at work (even if you’re self-employed). That’s one interpretation, and the other, more what the original viral TikTok video was about, is to stop letting your job win. Don’t let it consume you, your energy, your sanity, and your mind space.

You choose which one you have to do. You won’t want to do the bare minimum forever, but do it while you’re in the process of recovering. No shame. Your survival depends on it. And the other version needs to be normalized. We, as a society, LIVE with work central to our well being.

Put yourself first for a while, and you’ll be okay. We’re all humans, not machines. We can’t keep grinding along neglecting our self-care. It may take longer than you think, and it might not be easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

Your career will be waiting for you on the other side — the one you have now or a new one, better suited to your well-being. When you’re ready, I’m here to help you make your next steps clear.

P.S. Burnout can also be a sign that you’re unfulfilled in your career, or that you don’t feel like you’re doing what you’re meant to be doing. Comment below and let me know if that hits home for you!

Should You Soul Search Before the Job Search?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 12, 2022

Your teeth are clenched, your stomach lurches, you might even be breaking out in a nervous sweat, but you are proud of yourself for finally applying to a couple of jobs online and reaching out to two contacts that might help in your search.

Why the nerves?

Well, maybe you know it’s time for a change, but you can’t name what you want to do. Taking any action feels better than taking none, but will it get you anything better than you have now? Grasping at straws could lead to another mismatch, but if you take the time to do a little check in with your soul, you will sharpen your job search and get better results.

How do you do that?

I’m tired of hearing professional career guides talk about matching your job search to your values. Not because it lacks validity, but more so because the guidance is vague. There is so much more to the “soul search” part of the job search. It’s about you knowing yourself deeply, and then trusting that you can get the world to respond in kind. I find that once you know who you are, what you’re built to do, and what you want, it’s not that hard to make it happen successfully. (Sometimes, even where you are already working!)

Here are some things to be mindful of:

Triggers/Needs:
You’re human. Your unresolved “stuff” is going to get in the way no matter where you work. Name them to master them.
Themes of Success:
What is repeatable? Where do you easily get results?
Themes of Challenges:
What are the things that grow you and stretch you? Are they surmountable?
Your “Artistry”:
Your “special sauce.” The stuff that no one else can do.
The Outdated Motivator:
MOST of us got where we are to overcome something or prove something that got planted in you as a reaction to something negative a verrrrrry looooooong time ago. You’ve got to recognize it, decide if that motivation still serves you. (HINT: not likely) Replace it with something empowering. Something you can create a future on instead of just reacting to the past.

What you’re good at isn’t always what you’re meant to do, and so many of us are still using the paper road map we were guided by in high school and college. It’s outdated! You need to fine tune your GPS. Don’t skip this step.

Join our next Career Clarity REBOOT September 12-16th (with bonus days September 17th and 18th)

WAKE UP! Feel Your Way to A New Career

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 5, 2022

Stop thinking!

Rationalizing, logically ruminating, and plotting are not the most successful ways to figure out what’s next for you in your career and work life. They are good skills and have worked before. However, once you’ve landed on my site or email list, you’re frustrated and looking for new answers.

I’ve got them.

Wake up to how you’re feeling to move the needle on your career exploration!

How you’re feeling is a much better indicator of career satisfaction than thinking.,
do you feel about doing your current job?
How do you FEEL about the things you’d do if you could wave the “magic coaching wand?”
Two different feelings, likely. Am I right?

I know. I know.

I don’t know how to make it happen.
No one will hire me.
I can’t make any money at it.
I’ve invested so much in what I’m doing now.

Did I miss one?

OK. Look. Let’s get real. Yes, there are many obstacles to doing “the thing” that feels right. Biggest one is your thinking (and logic and all that mentioned at the top of this article!) So, what do you do?

Gather the data. What feels right contains data. It’s in your DNA (in my humble opinion); however, we live in a world that doesn’t honor that as it should, but you have to. Harvest this information.

Observe how you can transfer some or all of what feels right into your current situation or a new one that is immediately more attainable.

For example, let’s say that your “magic wand” move would be to be a writer. Finding your way to writing full time and getting paid for it may seem far off, but that should not be a sign to abandon it.

How do you get writing into your life now? Can you do it as a hobby? Can you do more writing at your job? Is there a job change you can make internally that can include more creativity?

Often, the thing we most want to do can be done in some other “form” (novelist vs. adding creativity to your current job) that brings about more satisfaction and fulfillment.

It’s not necessarily a substitute, but rather tapping what you truly want out of being a writer in the first place (to be creative).

This is just one example. Yours is as unique as you are.

What I hope is that you can see that you’ll not logically find your way to a next, satisfying career move. Your body – your feeling – is your best indicator of what’s next.

Wake up. Listen deeply.

Tap us/me if you need an assist.

How Do You KNOW You’re Making the Right Choice?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on March 22, 2021

When you’ve been in job search and finally have an offer, or you’re faced with deciding to spend money on a training that could help you in your business, or you’re at a crossroads and aren’t sure which way to go . . . these are just some of the scenarios my clients face when they have to make a big decision. Everyone wants certainty. They want to know their choice will be the right one. They want a guarantee!

How Do You KNOW You're Making the Right Choice? Life comes with no guarantees. I don’t have to tell you that. Sometimes, we do have those unshakeable, big YES’s that resonate through our mind and body, but most of the time, anxiety and uncertainty make it hard to decide. How can you make a decision you can feel really good about? One where you knew you could step out into the abyss and trust you won’t fall.

Check out this acronym for CHOICE.

Criteria – What’s Your Criteria for This Decision?
I often ask folks who come to me for career clarity support what their criteria is for happiness in a job. Most can’t answer. We may not have thought of it that way. So, I’ll ask now.

What is your criteria for happiness in a career or job? What is your criteria for investing in your professional or personal growth? What is your personal criteria for making any decision?

I suggest an easy measure. Is your decision based in fear or love of self? Sure, hard times sometimes means taking a job you’re not thrilled with to have the income, but let’s look at this in the context of ideal conditions. Are you making this choice out of fear:

Fear that it’s your last chance at something?,that you’re going to make a mistake so you do nothing? and that you’re missing out on something? Making a decision out of fear (unless that fear is a good motivator – like I’m afraid I’ll run out of money so I’ll get a solid foundation again – needs to be recognized and evaluated.

Have Faith – Have Faith in Yourself
How often have you let yourself down? Do you have a good track record of making decisions that serve you well? If so, use that to boost your confidence in the current decision.

If not, think about what you’ve learned from your mistakes. Were you rushed or pressured in making previous decisions? Did you listen to others instead of honoring what you wanted? and get burned through no fault of your own? Keep these things under consideration and build your ability to trust yourself.

OBSERVE – Observe Your Monkey Mind
The Buddhists call your noisy inner critic the Monkey Mind. Does your Monkey Mind chatter too much and too loudly?

Do you find yourself focusing on what you “should” do or not do? The word “should” is a giveaway that you are not thinking about what you want but rather what you think is expected or “better.”

Also watch for guilt in your decision making. I propose that there are two kinds of guilt. Good guilt and bad guilt. Good guilt is trying to warn you that you might be forming a regret. Like not seeing a friend who is sick when you’re close by. Bad guilt is all the anxiety about whether you were grateful enough for an interview, or if you did the right thing as far as presentation is concerned. It’s back to those “shoulds.”

INTUITION – Intuition Needs to be Included
When you lean too heavily on your logical left brain, you exclude your creativity, dreaming mechanism and the possibilitarian* in you is silenced. Trust your gut when making decisions. Read the next step to understand how to know what intuition is and what it feels like.

CLARITY – Get Clear on What You’re Feeling
Discernment is key here. Can you feel the difference between fear and intuition in your body? Interviewing people over the years, my observation is that fear is jarring and unsettling, while intuition is calmer. Intuition can be persistent, but the overall feeling is gentle.

Back in the day, my acting teacher, Kate McGregor Stewart, used to say: “Fear is just excitement without the oxygen.” Feeling the difference between fear and excitement is important too. Yes, you can be experiencing both at the same time, but for the best decision making, it’s helpful to know/feel the difference.

EVALUATE – Evaluate the Support Your Supporters Give You
It’s normal to want to bounce your ideas and decisions off of trusted folks in your life. However, it is important to keep in mind that often, our nearest and dearest aren’t always the best supporters because they project their own fears on to you.

They might say you are crazy for leaving your industry, or that your idea doesn’t have merit. You MUST consider the source of these comments. People come from their own fears and limits and will project them on to you causing you to doubt yourself.

I’ve observed that when people tell you “you’re crazy,” you’re probably on the right track. You’ve made the other person question their courage, or maybe their status quo and comfort zone depend on what you do. That would cause them to voice their doubt.

Decisions are hard. Having more knowledge about yourself and how you make them, helps them become easier, more fluid, and produce the best outcomes.

Ultimately, there are no wrong decisions. Everything is AFGO.

*Norman Vincent Peale:
Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see the possibilities — always see them, for they’re always there.