Now What?® Coaching
from Laura Berman Fortgang
Working on putting together a resume that will get you noticed and invited to interview,
(including getting past the ATS system that Laura mentioned in her Ghosted: Job Search Edition post)?
Check out this practical guide and sample resumes to take you through this sometimes grueling task.
Your Step-by-Step Guide to Making the Perfect Resume (With Examples!)
How to cope?First, understanding what you’re feeling may be helpful to moving past it and getting back on track to finding employment. Rejection is not a good time. It hurts, it’s confusing when you think you’re doing everything right, and it’s scary because the clock is ticking on your ability to go without an income.
Rejection kicks up shame, but most importantly, it lock jambs your emotional system. You set out with hope and an idea of what could be possible if that job works out. Then, every blocked path strips you of those good feelings. No wonder we get depressed and want to give up.
Please don’t.
BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
Being good to yourself doesn’t mean indulging in binge watching shows or staying in your jammies all day. It means not being hard on yourself about your state of affairs, and it means putting a structure to your days that keeps you healthy and engaged.
Eat right, do some exercise, have social contact to look forward to, and make a structured “work time” to do your job search as a task and not an “if I get to it today” item.
It also means increasing your self-care to the levels it might not have been at while you were employed and busy (meditation, yoga, walks, biking — whatever makes you feel centered and at ease).
NETWORK
In addition to watching job postings and applying for them, get out to industry events or other gatherings that will expand your network. Having a warm contact is always better than no contact, and you never know how putting yourself in opportunity’s way will help you.
GET SUPPORT
To get through the emotional roller coaster and for brainstorming strategies, it might serve you to look for like-minded people in a career-oriented forum. All it takes is googling ‘career support group’, a dose of courage, and a slice of “humble pie.”
The benefits are likely to be that you’ll discover you’re not alone, that you may be in a better scenario than you thought, and that you’ll gain some strategies or at least some camaraderie.
MIND YOUR KEYWORDS*
Research the companies you are applying to and start adding more of the company’s language (even industry jargon) to your cover letter and resume. Get more hits by improving your keywords to those that will be caught by the ATS (applicant tracking system).
Also, become more specific on your resume. Watch for too much generalization. Instead of saying: “Created system that saved millions for our department,” say instead: “Created a multi-faceted system that reduced costs by 40% ($2.5 million) and increased productivity by 20%.”
As with dating, there is no better remedy to the uncertainty and delicate state of your needs and desires than to take your power back and keep your ship steady and pointed in the direction you want to go. Stop letting the tides and whims of others and the job market sink your emotional ship.
Stay buoyed by these tips, and when you feel desperate, keep your head up and double the job search action you are taking. I can’t promise you’ll never be ghosted, but I do know you can even out the collateral damage to your self-esteem and improve your job search success.
Looking to have greater impact, bring more value, or reach more people? It doesn’t have to be hard, and it’s probably easier than you imagined.
Take a peek and see what you might want to try out this year:
Every year, I set out in mid-November to “enjoy the holiday season.” To me, that means not rushing, stressing, and feeling pulled to complete so many obligations. Instead, I imagine watching as many corny Christmas movies as I want, wrapping gifts with time to spare, being done with shopping before the stores swell with holiday shoppers, and really relishing the time with friends and family. Well, hahahaha (or should I say Ho Ho Ho?) It never happens.
BUT…
This year, I’m on track to really do this.
Running for office left me with a very open calendar in November and December because I didn’t know if I’d be training for taking office, finding staff for a January inauguration, and setting up my life for this new honored position. With the results not being what I’d hoped, I had November and December available to me like never before.
It seems so obvious, but what was wrong all those other times, (and even what was wrong with my coaching advice for years) was that being concrete about where one could say “no” is just not enough. It’s enough to help enjoy the holi-DAY, a special event here or there, but not enough to create a season that is really fun and joyful.
Shopping early enough to avoid crowds, taking my time with all the things that used to be last minute, really indulging in connecting with people who want to get together before the year is out, and having the time to plan and strategize the new year has been like pressing “pause” on the usual holiday chaos. It’s truly a pleasure.
This year’s schedule was an unintended bonus, and I now know what it feels like to have the holiday season I’ve always intended. Once we feel it, we have sense memory. Our body remembers, and so will our cognitive memory. We can’t unknow what we now know!
So, if I were to make this repeatable and shareable so you can do it too, I’d say:
I hope there’s still time to put this in place for the last two weeks of the year, but if not, start planning for the next. It takes that much intentionality. I promise it’s worth it.
And while you’re at it, planning your new year should include our Now What? Home Study Kit if you are up for a career shift.
The post-conference photo of the office staff on Instagram had two people on the farthest right and left cut out of it. Was it a purposeful slight to those people or did the person who posted not know how to use the feature where you can pinch the screen to fit the whole photo in?
Drama prone people will jump to the conclusion that fits their narrative and fears and be certain their interpretation is correct. They will begin to spin out about it. They will gossip about it, act out emotionally and perpetuate the drama with retaliatory action or building resentment, and they will poll others to gain consensus that their interpretation is correct.
People who notice the photo but have no interest in drama might make another assumption or ask the posting party if the edit was intentional and help them learn how to do it properly the next time.
If you love drama, gossip, feeling “in the know,” feeling powerful by building negative narratives about other people, then you either belong in politics or enjoy the adrenaline high you get from the feeling of temporary power (or both!)
This drama dynamic exists in families, workplaces, schools, social clubs, houses of worship, charity boards, volunteer groups—anywhere people gather and have to work together on projects or share common goals.
Think about it. Where would you rather spend your time? Moving a project forward or hunkering down in a gossip fest? Hey, I get it. Sometimes gossiping is fun, but let’s get serious. Ultimately we want the successful outcome of a gathering, endeavor, project, or contract.
How do we accomplish that? It’s simple; stick to the facts and question your interpretation of them.
Interpretation A: Johnny is not doing his part
B: Nobody cares as much as I do
C: There isn’t timely or even enough communication between team members
D: This is a disaster and there’s nothing I can do
E: Maybe there is something going on with one of the team members personally that is affecting their performance
One fact, multiple interpretations. Usually the facts are pretty clear to all parties. It’s the interpretations that create the problem. We all filter what we see through our own perception based on our make-up and experience and level of personal growth.
There’s a very simple solution: Ask questions. Get a handle (without accusations) on what is going on. Not everyone will be truthful, especially if asked a direct question, but you can overcome that.
Assumption: What are we assuming about this? What interpretation is dominant?
Check: Are there other interpretations we can assess or discuss?
Target: What do we need to do to adjust (without BLAME) and what action can we agree to moving forward?
Set: Set new targets, goals, make agreements and explore consequences of not meeting the next benchmark
Go! Move on. Be done. Don’t entertain the gossip or the drama. Don’t take the bait and get caught on drama’s hook. Your team/committee and the outcome of your project will be better for it.
You’re welcome.
Small minds discuss people.
Average minds discuss events.
Great minds discuss ideas.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Let’s face it, when you’re looking for another job, there a lot of questions that you will have to grapple with!
Here is some advice that reminds you to go beyond what you think will sound good or “right” to the interviewer. And whether they ask these particular ones or not, they are good to think about as you engage in the search.