When I started in the coaching industry 20+ years ago, most people were unfamiliar with the term “coaching” — outside of sports, of course. These days, I rarely meet someone who doesn’t know what coaching is — in the context of life, health, business, or careers.
We’ve come a long way! But when it comes to recognizing the difference between a skilled coach and someone who just slapped on a title? Not so much.
Coaching isn’t a regulated industry. You don’t need a license or specific training to call yourself a coach, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it allows for autonomy and creative freedom. However, when hiring a coach, you need to know what you’re getting into. And when you are a coach, you need to know what skills help your clients get results. What makes a coach good at their job?
You may have heard me say I’m a Master Certified Coach (MCC), the gold standard credential in coaching, issued by the International Coaching Federation. To earn this designation, I had to demonstrate evidence of advanced coaching skills and meet certain standards. It’s something I take seriously.
BUT the credential itself isn’t what makes me, or anyone else, a good coach. What makes someone a good coach is the skill of telling the truth.
Most people avoid the truth at worst or tell “polite” truths at best.
An effective coach will call you on your stuff and tell you the truth in a snap. We won’t let it slide.
Does this mean good coaches are all-knowing truth-tellers? Of course not.
It means we’re able to recognize incongruencies — when you say something that doesn’t match your actions, or when you act in a way that’s out of alignment with the groundwork and goals we’ve established.
For example —
You: My family is the most important thing to me.
Skilled coach: You mentioned that your family is important, but you also shared with me that you haven’t spent any time with your family this month. In what ways are you prioritizing your family? Where else are you directing your attention? What’s really getting your time?
It’s the coach’s job to pay close attention, notice when something is “off,” and question it. Inquiring into what you say, think, and do is what helps you see the truth — YOUR truth.
I know we’re getting somewhere when a client says, “Wow, that’s a really good question,” or — better yet, “I hate you for asking me that.” Bingo – we’re onto something!
It’s important to remember that when you enter into a coaching relationship, you’re agreeing to get called out on your stuff. You’re signing up for the truth … because living in our truth is where we all want to be.
This is how coaching changes lives and organizations. You have to answer some tough questions and confront big truths about yourself, your leadership (we are all leaders somewhere, even if it’s just with family) and your choices. Are you ready to face facts?
If you’re a coach, you need to learn how to work with the truth — to ruffle feathers (but in a productive way), and to uncover layers so you can get to the good stuff. It’s a skill set that requires training and practice.
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