Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

Now What Coaching

Holy Wow. Another Year. Can This One Really Be Different?

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What am I going to say? Of course, I’m going to say YES. Yes, it can.

There will always be circumstances beyond our control, and we will simultaneously have free will. Let’s put it to work.

I’m sitting down to write this after a local business morning networking group on the very first business day of the year. I had joined a couple of months back and was “giving it a chance.”

Holy Wow. Another Year. Can This One Really Be Different? by Laura Berman FortgangAfter more than two years of COVID isolation, I wanted to see people again and play closer to home. However, this morning it was very clear that I was not investing my time and energy in something that is worth “giving a chance” to, despite my best efforts.

I had all the evidence I needed: small-minded, scarcity mindset from a member fearing competition, broken agreements with me by another member, and finally, shoddy work on display from another. All in the scope of two and a half weeks.

There was a time where I may have waited things out for several months, or where I would be starting to miss meetings instead of telling the truth about what was not in alignment for me.

If you can relate and you’re wondering if you should stay with a group, a company, or even a relationship, take a look at some ways to shift your perspective that might be helpful:

Where do you retreat? Where do you advance? Keep this in mind as you make decisions.​
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You can make this a different year, just by being willing to put up with less nonsense. That’s what I’m doing. Care to join me?

Are You Playing The Short Game or The Long Game?

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We live in a time when people expect instant results.

And I get it.

Are You Playing The Short Game or The Long Game? by Laura Berman FortgangWhen you’re in a difficult spot, stuck in a rut, and feel like you just can’t take it anymore — and you finally reach a breaking point where you want out…

You want OUT, and you want out fast.

But the tricky thing is your career and business happiness, fulfillment, and success requires playing the long game.

Getting caught up in short-term wins (a.k.a. survival mode) is what causes things to go wrong. It’s exactly why when people make rash moves, they often find themselves right back where they started.

Here’s what I mean —

I was talking to someone recently who was incredibly unhappy with their job. It was a classic case of overwhelm. Demanding boss. Grueling expectations. Excruciating schedule. Worst of all, this person felt trapped with no time to plot an escape or even figure out where else to go.

This is a tough but all-too-common catch-22 scenario. “I’ve got to find a new thing, but my current thing is consuming all of me, so I can’t.”

In another recent conversation, I was talking to a business owner. She was complaining to me that relationship building—getting on the phone, meeting up in person, and cultivating trust with her network—was taking up a heck of a lot of time.

From her perspective, building a business online – getting out there on social media, creating a brand, and following some marketing guru’s “simple step-by-step approach” – looked a whole lot faster and easier.

When assessing each of their sets of circumstances, I had the same question:
“Do you want to play the long game or the short game?”

The reality was, both of these folks were getting beat up pretty badly. They were letting their work get the best of them — allowing it to pack their calendar, drain their energy, and essentially, take over their lives.

No carving out time for what mattered most.
No focus on yielding the results they wanted.
No self-reflection, balance, or fulfillment.

Nothing but work, work, work … on the kind of stuff they didn’t want to be doing.

Fair warning: If you keep allowing yourself to get pummeled like this, there’s going to be a breakdown. I see it all the time! (Did you read last week’s email about burnout?!)

Stuck in a job or career that’s taking over your life? You have to find a way to carve out at least 30 minutes a day to plot your escape.

Looking for the best bang for your buck as a business owner? You have to focus on what’s working rather than getting distracted by empty promises of what may or may not work for you.

Improving your circumstances is all about optimizing your time, maximizing your efforts, and getting clear on what you really want.

If you wish to succeed on your terms, you must be willing to play the long game.

You have to think like an athlete — doing the conditioning, committing to workouts, and building muscle between games and wins. It’s not always fun or easy, but it’s worth the victory.

What can you do now to get yourself ready to reach your long-term goals?

Do You Create Roadblocks or Does Someone Else?

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When I talk to folks about making their next career move, I’m often met with an imaginary roadblock. At this point, I’ve come to expect it.

This phantom obstacle comes in the form of a prerequisite they’ve conjured up (one that doesn’t actually exist) — an unmet qualification, a missing credential, or insufficient experience.

It’s something they perceive as necessary, and it stops them from moving forward.

But the reality is, they’re usually just counting themselves out. They become their own gatekeeper.

Don’t get me wrong …

Sometimes a job requires a legitimate credential, as it should.

You wouldn’t want to board an airplane with a pilot who hasn’t completed the requisite number of flight hours. And you certainly wouldn’t trust your life to a surgeon who dropped out of medical school.

But for most careers, almost anything goes.

With enough creativity, confidence, and tenacity, you can usually chart your own course … within reason, of course.

Do You Create Roadblocks or Does Someone Else?​ by Laura Berman FortgangLetting a self-imposed prerequisite block your path is self-sabotage.

“They’ll never promote me to director without an MBA.”
“I need a C-suite title before that firm will even consider my resume.”
“Nobody’s going to hire me as a developer without a computer science degree.”

Sound familiar?

Not too long ago, I was working with a client who was eyeing a VP position. She felt up for the challenge but was convinced she needed to reach for a lower rung on the ladder first. I encouraged her to go straight for the executive level role … and she landed it — just like that!

I often work with entrepreneurs who tell me they’re expecting to make about 600k but hoping for a million. I tell them to run the higher numbers, take million-dollar action, and go for it.

It’s like the Norman Vincent Peale quote:
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

Even if you don’t reach your stretch goal, you’ll find yourself closer to where you really want to be.

Looking further down the road means seeing past the imaginary obstacles and roadblocks you’ve placed in your own way.

Bottom line: GO BIG!

And if you start second-guessing yourself, check for that slippery slope of self-imposed prerequisites.

Are YOU getting in your own way?

Career Lessons Learned from the Royal Family

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We just witnessed the end of an era.

After a lifetime of service to her country, the reign of Queen Elizabeth II came to an end — a sad day for so many worldwide.

We also witnessed a new beginning, as the man we’ve always known as Prince Charles transitioned into his role as King Charles III.

Career lessons learned from the royal familyAt nearly 74 years old, he’s stepping into a job he’s been planning and training for since childhood. Talk about succession planning!

As a career coach, I can’t help but find this fascinating.

While most of us set out to land a job that best suits us, we often make compromises that land us where we never expected to be. We don’t always get to follow the plan we charted from the start.

When Queen Elizabeth took the throne at age 26, she declared that no matter how long or short her life was, she was committed to being of service.

If you’ve ever been in survival mode, you might find yourself muttering “must be nice.” Being of service is a whole lot easier if paying the bills isn’t at the forefront of your mind. But hear me out…

If you’re finding yourself in a career conundrum right now, with no idea where to turn next, you’ll find your answer in their story.

I know, I know — it might not seem relatable.

But like Charles, you’ve been preparing for something all these years too. Like Elizabeth, you can answer the call to service too. Sure, you don’t have the royal family’s coffers behind you, but we’re all human, and we all have the ability to make the most of our lot in life.

Think about it. Ask yourself:

  • What do I have? What are my skills? What is my training?
  • Where are the places I’ve been fortunate enough to be that have prepared me to be of service?
  • What are the experiences that have built my career and life to this point?

Here’s a hint: The answers aren’t in your resume.

Think about the big picture. Consider what you’ve overcome. Reflect on the things that made you who you are on a deeper level. This isn’t about job titles or tasks completed; it’s about who you’ve become in the process.

We opened up registration for our new and improved (and sweetly priced) Now What?® Experience, where participants will do the “soul search” before the job search with our guidance and support. We close registration Tuesday at midnight eastern. You can still join us there!

How to Bounce Back from Burnout

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There’s been a lot of talk about burnout lately … and rightly so.

It’s not just some buzzword, but a very real thing that more and more people are dealing with every day.

We’ve all been through a lot over the past couple of years, and no matter what else was going on in the news or in life, we’ve had to keep pushing — to keep the money flowing in, to keep the bills paid, and to keep our careers intact.

It’s been intense. Even though things are a little less so now, the after effect of it all is hitting people hard. So if you’re feeling this, you’re not alone.
In my case, I spent the past year in serious caregiver mode for two different family members. While I’m grateful that my business allowed me the flexibility to do that, I hit burnout mode — big time.

I knew that if I didn’t pull back, my own health would be on the line. So that’s what I did, and now I’m in bounce-back mode.

I’ve been here before — at different times, for different reasons — so the good news is, I knew what to do. Now I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve that I thought I’d share with you in case you’re finding yourself heading towards (or trying to recover from) burnout too.

Best case scenario: Take a break. Use your personal days, medical leave, or whatever you need to do to unplug completely. And do it BEFORE your body forces you to.

If that’s not an option — and let’s face it, it’s probably not — here’s what to do instead:

1. Step back from people, activities, responsibilities, and obligations that are not absolutely necessary. You just have to stop, even if it’s hard, even if it ruffles feathers. They’ll get over it … or not; it won’t be the end of the world. If you don’t quit, it could be the end of you. I’m not being dramatic here; your life depends on it.

2. Start spending more time in nature. This isn’t a nice-to-do, it’s a must-do. Put your feet in the grass and connect with the earth. Sit by the water. Find a park. Look up at the sky. Move your body. Nurturing yourself in nature calms your nervous system like nothing else. You’ll feel so much better.

3. “Quiet quit” your job — You’re hearing a lot about this right now, and it’s not to be confused with actually quitting. In case you’ve yet to hear about this, just google it. In a nutshell, the idea is to step back and do the bare minimum at work (even if you’re self-employed). That’s one interpretation, and the other, more what the original viral TikTok video was about, is to stop letting your job win. Don’t let it consume you, your energy, your sanity, and your mind space.

You choose which one you have to do. You won’t want to do the bare minimum forever, but do it while you’re in the process of recovering. No shame. Your survival depends on it. And the other version needs to be normalized. We, as a society, LIVE with work central to our well being.

Put yourself first for a while, and you’ll be okay. We’re all humans, not machines. We can’t keep grinding along neglecting our self-care. It may take longer than you think, and it might not be easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

Your career will be waiting for you on the other side — the one you have now or a new one, better suited to your well-being. When you’re ready, I’m here to help you make your next steps clear.

P.S. Burnout can also be a sign that you’re unfulfilled in your career, or that you don’t feel like you’re doing what you’re meant to be doing. Comment below and let me know if that hits home for you!

Should You Soul Search Before the Job Search?

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Your teeth are clenched, your stomach lurches, you might even be breaking out in a nervous sweat, but you are proud of yourself for finally applying to a couple of jobs online and reaching out to two contacts that might help in your search.

Why the nerves?

Well, maybe you know it’s time for a change, but you can’t name what you want to do. Taking any action feels better than taking none, but will it get you anything better than you have now? Grasping at straws could lead to another mismatch, but if you take the time to do a little check in with your soul, you will sharpen your job search and get better results.

How do you do that?

I’m tired of hearing professional career guides talk about matching your job search to your values. Not because it lacks validity, but more so because the guidance is vague. There is so much more to the “soul search” part of the job search. It’s about you knowing yourself deeply, and then trusting that you can get the world to respond in kind. I find that once you know who you are, what you’re built to do, and what you want, it’s not that hard to make it happen successfully. (Sometimes, even where you are already working!)

Here are some things to be mindful of:
  • Triggers/Needs:
    You’re human. Your unresolved “stuff” is going to get in the way no matter where you work. Name them to master them.
  • Themes of Success:
    What is repeatable? Where do you easily get results?
  • Themes of Challenges:
    What are the things that grow you and stretch you? Are they surmountable?
  • Your “Artistry”:
    Your “special sauce.” The stuff that no one else can do.
  • The Outdated Motivator:
    MOST of us got where we are to overcome something or prove something that got planted in you as a reaction to something negative a verrrrrry looooooong time ago. You’ve got to recognize it, decide if that motivation still serves you. (HINT: not likely) Replace it with something empowering. Something you can create a future on instead of just reacting to the past.

What you’re good at isn’t always what you’re meant to do, and so many of us are still using the paper road map we were guided by in high school and college. It’s outdated! You need to fine tune your GPS. Don’t skip this step.

Join our next Career Clarity REBOOT September 12-16th (with bonus days September 17th and 18th)