Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

transition

Crises Reveal The Essence of Things

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It is said that the true state of a marriage is laid bare in the face of a crisis. If it was strong, the relationship will grow stronger with the crisis. If it was already breaking, the crisis will deepen the fissures to breaking. It is the same for each of us as individuals. We are being shown what we are made of.

Crises Reveal The Essence of Things by Laura Berman FortgangThe current state of affairs among the crisis of the COVID-19 pandemic is laying bare our own essence. The novelty of our new “normal” is wearing off and reality is setting in.

We are seeing the virus hit closer to home as beloved celebrities and people you know are being affected or passing away. Generally, we are scared, and what is revealed is the state of our ability to deal with the unknown and our ability to be alone with that state.

There are so many questions and things that don’t have a clear solution right now. However, I offer you a few things to think about, journal about or discuss.

1) How are you?

I’m not asking about your physical health, but rather about your state of mind. How ARE you? Are you freaking out?, mildly worried? and relatively at peace knowing that you are controlling what you can right now?

Be with that for a few minutes. What is being revealed about your essence – your baseline of how you deal with things?

2) Who are you?

How do you show up during this time? Are you a helper? A researcher? An organizer of others? A nurturer? A hunter/gatherer? (our family’s joke about the search for toilet paper and essential items). Are you an alarmist? The rebel?, activist? and one fueled by outrage? (all are just fine)

What is the crisis showing you about how you show up? For me, it’s not much different than “regular life.” I’m the driver; I make sure young people get out of bed and don’t teen-sleep the day away, make sure there’s a meal every night, and herd the screen worshipers to connect as a family every night. (How much do I love them not being able to run off to friends, jobs and activities? Sorry. Not sorry). Professionally, the driver is making you think, absorb and evolve. It’s who I am. It’s what I do.

3) Who do you want to be?

If these questions are not revealing characteristics that you’re happy with or proud of, consider who you want to be. Where can you refocus your energy to practice the qualities you want to embody as you ground yourself for whatever is awaiting us?

A dear friend and colleague of mine often speaks about her aspiration to live with grace. Whenever she’s faced with a challenge, she puts her attention on handling all of it with grace, her highest value.

We are on hold. In the absence of action, there is suspension. Like the moment when the orchestra stops playing as the conductor raises both his arms in the air indicating a pause. All goes still, but there is anticipation and preparation lingering and holding, until the sudden indication that all can move forward again in a burst of sound.

For all of us, the outcome is unknown. Will there be a depression? Will the loss of life deeply impact how we can lead our lives? Will we see or want different things when we get to resume?

We don’t know, Are still in the surrender and  will be transformed by this.

Watch how and who you are being. It’s the best preparation for what is to come.

When Life Offers You a Hard Right

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When I was five years old, my father was offered the opportunity to establish an office for his large American employer in Caracas, Venezuela. (It was a much healthier and wealthier place then that it is now.)

I wasn’t privy to how the negotiation with my mother went down, but they decided to take the one-year assignment. It turned out to become a six year stay, and one I am forever grateful for as I’m still a Spanish speaker and a lover of exploring different cultures.

At least once in each of our adult lives, we’re likely to have to make a decision that pulls us towards an unproven opportunity and away from the comfort of established routine and relative certainty. I’ve listened to many a client weigh the fear and lack of a guaranteed outcome with the excitement and “rightness” of what’s calling.

In the last couple of years, I’ve worked with two established medical professionals who were presented with the opportunity to go in a related but new direction. One, felt deeply called to provide more holistic and integrated medical care but feared being ridiculed by the ‘establishment’ and never being able to return to traditional medicine if her leap did not work out.

The other, was a very well-reputed surgeon who felt compelled to bring her talents to the world of artificial intelligence in the medical field (robotic surgery to be specific). She had no guarantee that it would be a wise career move although it sounded very plausible. Both women ultimately left the comfort of certainty to reap very positive results.

When Life Offers You a Hard RightThis brings me to my own hard right. Earlier this month, I declared a run for New Jersey State Assembly which is a part-time designation. It would be a tremendous honor to represent constituents in the everyday decisions and votes that affect their lives.

Some of you may recall that I did run briefly in 2017. We’ll call that the apprenticeship. This one is fully professional and staffed by people who know how to win elections.

Although I had run before, it was not in my plans to run this time around. There were very big responsibilities keeping me in the land of certainty. However, let’s just say the Universe conspired to open the door so I would step through it.

An abundance of professional support came to me without effort. As is so often the case, the “coincidences” were too great to ignore.

I intend to bring my skill set of solving intractable problems with small business owners, individuals who are career seekers, and executives to NJ state government.

What is pulling you off the known path? How can we support you to decipher what it is or to make it happen?

Join me at Kripalu at the dawn of spring for a Now What?® Retreat. Let’s get you started.
Prepare to join our next discounted round of Now What?® On Demand. Registration begins in March. This is perfect for you if you want to work on your own from the comfort of your own space.
And if you can lend your support to my hard right, it’s permissible from US residents and every dollar counts. Thank you in advance!

What If Every Month was the Holiday Season Month?

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People would:

be more compassionate,
me more forgiving,
be more thoughtful—giving and showing thanks,
spend more time in wonder,
invest in the power of magic and fairy dust,
share extra hugs and laughter,
think of those less fortunate,
make connecting with others a priority
and consider the transformative power of light in their lives literally and figuratively
—–The world would be kinder

What If Every Month was the Holiday Season Month?I recognize that the holiday season can also be lonely and sad for many people. Gaining 8 lbs. and shopping into debt might not be a wise monthly practice, either. At the same time, banning politics from family gatherings might be a good year-round pact!

In all seriousness, as busy as this time of year is, it provides a wonderful year end/ new year ritual. To be in a time and place that reflects centuries of traditions, feeling rooted in things that matter, IS available to us every month and every day if we remember to focus there.

That centered feeling where priorities are clear is what I want for you. I, the team at InterCoach, Inc. and the Authorized Facilitators at Now What?® Coaching, wish you all a joyous holiday season and a year of feeling focused and clear on what matters to you.

Happy Holidays and a Focused New Year!