Life Goals

How to Stop Imposter Syndrome in Its Tracks

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 1, 2023

Do you ever feel like an imposter?

Are you sometimes afraid that someone’s going to discover you have no idea what you’re doing — that you’re not the expert you proclaim to be, you’re not as skilled as you’ve made yourself out to be, and you’re not quite qualified to be in the position you’ve found yourself in?

Maybe you’re worried that you don’t measure up somehow, so it makes you feel like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.

Here’s what this looks like.

Them: We’d like to interview you [for a dream job]!
You: Maybe they didn’t notice I don’t have enough experience.

Them: Congratulations! We’d like to offer you the [dream] job.
You: I’ll surely be fired by Tuesday, once they figure out I’m a fraud.

Them: We’ve selected your proposal to speak at the next conference.
You: Oh no! I’m probably going to make a fool out of myself.

Them: I’m looking for a coach, and I’d love to work with you.
You: But what if I can’t help you get results, and you tell everyone I’m a con?

I’m not a doctor, but as a Master Certified Credentialed Coach with 30 years of experience, I can confidently assess what’s happening here.

Imposter Syndrome

Don’t worry; it’s not fatal to your career or success.

Most people struggle with it from time to time, and it’s entirely “treatable.”

If you feel like your Imposter Syndrome is flaring up, here’s what I suggest you do —

Pause and accept what’s happening. No sense in ignoring the symptoms. Denying it only makes things worse by trying to overcompensate.
Learn to recognize your triggers (comparisons, someone else’s recent success) and how you respond, so you can head it off at the pass. Before you go into a full-on panic, tell yourself, “This is just imposter syndrome flaring up again. Nothing alarming. You can do this.”
Notice your self-talk. As soon as you start beating yourself up, STOP. It may sound easier said than done, but you can tell yourself “no.” No more negative self-talk; you’re not listening.
Ask yourself what success looks like. Are you trying to measure up to a perfect ideal? Scratch that and aim for progress instead.
Keep learning. The best way to keep Imposter Syndrome at bay is to continue seeking out new knowledge and ways of doing things, evolving, and growing your skill set.
Celebrate wins! I can’t say enough about this. Remind your brain that you’re doing good things.

Do this again and again, every time Imposter Syndrome starts to creep up, and you’ll start experiencing it less and less.

Don’t get caught up in calling yourself an expert. Instead of thinking of yourself as someone who’s supposed to know everything, think of yourself as someone who makes it your business to learn everything you can about your particular topic of choice.

You’re not an imposter, so keep showing up as the best of who you are. You’ve got this!

Old Lessons Made New to Finish 2023 Strong

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 24, 2023

It’s hard to believe we’re already heading into the fourth quarter of 2023, but it’s coming right up.

So … how’s it going?

Would your September 2022 self be proud?
Are you on track to reach your goals?
Did you blow by your wildest expectations?
Have you made some wrong turns or hit detours?

No matter where you are now, you still have time to finish even stronger and better. You have time to focus on what you want to get done by the end of this year.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot this week. As you may know, not only am I a Master Certified Credentialed Coach, but I’m also an ordained interfaith minister, incorporating wisdom and inspiration from ancient traditions around the world, into my work and every day.

This past weekend was Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, followed by a 10-day period of Judaism’s High Holy Days, and this coming Sunday marks Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement or holiest day of the year.

It’s a time for reflection and renewal, introspection and connection.

A time for shedding the old and celebrating new beginnings — wishing family and friends a year filled with happiness, health, and prosperity.

As well as a time for thinking back over the past year, facing your missteps, asking forgiveness, and considering how you may become a better person in the year ahead.

Whether you take part in these customs or not, you can consider this a reminder that life is full of opportunities to begin again and move forward with renewed energy.

This weekend also marks the official first day of fall. Just like the trees shed leaves, what do you want to let go of? What do you want to make room for?

If you haven’t done it by now, maybe you didn’t really want to — so dump it!

Or forgive yourself for putting it off this long — and get to it!

Whatever you’re looking to accomplish in your career or business, the year’s not over yet. Celebrate how far you’ve come, make peace with your setbacks, and reawaken your drive to succeed.

The Power of Pumpkin Spice

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 17, 2023

Fall is just around the corner again, and you know what that means — it’s pumpkin spice season!

I know … you’re either rolling your eyes, giddy with excitement, or couldn’t care less. But stick with me here, because we should all be paying attention.

Love it or hate it, there’s no denying the POWER of pumpkin spice.

I kid you not — studies have found that Americans are spending over half a BILLION dollars on pumpkin spice stuff every year. Buying up everything from Starbucks lattes to scented trash bags, industry insiders call it the “pumpkin spice economy.”

Sure, it may seem like things have gotten out of hand, and seeing the hype start in mid-August is a pet peeve of mine. Personally, I’m a fan of pumpkin spice, and I’m an even bigger fan of pumpkin spice as a marketing phenomenon.

Marketers have NAILED this. Here’s how —

1. Building anticipation: Those of us who are fans of the rich, fragrant flavor and scent crave our first annual sip or whiff.
2. Creating emotional connection: It’s become interwoven with the coziness of the season, like a warm sweater, crackling fires, and family holiday gatherings.
3. Making a limited-time offer: Not being able to order it year-round makes it special. Consumers hurry to buy while they can, as much as they can.
4. Establishing consistency: We know this thing is coming down the pike every year and have come to rely on it.

How can you translate these lessons into your business or career?

Anticipation: Talk about what you’re brewing up; create intrigue. Developing a new program? Offer hints along the way. Working on an exciting project? Let others know you can’t wait to share. Before long, people will be on the lookout for whatever you have going on and want in on it.

Emotional connection: Make sure people associate your work with something deeper than a commodity. You don’t just offer accounting services, but peace of mind. Not just coaching, but clarity and inspiration.

Limited access: Scarcity encourages people to take action. Offer a limited number of one-on-one coaching opportunities. Focus on projects that make the greatest impact rather than spreading yourself thin.

Consistency: Let people know what to expect from you, so they can look forward to your upcoming podcast episode, newsletter, program launch, or presentation at the next industry conference — and depend on you showing up.

I’d love to know how you’re going to spice things up this fall. Hit reply and share.

How to reach your goals without pushing harder

By Laura Berman Fortgang on June 25, 2023

Do you ever feel like reaching your goals is a nearly impossible feat?

Like you’re never going to get there, or you’re going to run yourself into the ground trying?

I think we’ve all felt this way at some point, but it can be especially frustrating when you just can’t figure out why it’s so dang hard.

You want the thing — the promotion, the new career, a successful business…

And you’re going after the thing — working your tail off to make it happen…

But progress is slow, and you honestly feel like giving up.

Here’s what’s probably happening —

If I had to guess, I’d say you’re PUSHING too hard.

You’re in your head, plotting and scheming, and your ego is shouting at you to go, go, go…harder! Or that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t!

But in my experience, I’ve come to understand that pushing harder is the more difficult way to achieve what you want.

What would it look like if you were PULLED toward your goals instead?

I’ve seen it time and time again. When people work toward something bigger than themselves, and they’re compelled to fulfill a vision, it feels easier.

This doesn’t mean you won’t have obstacles or that things won’t get rough at times.

It means you’re EXCITED to be challenged.
You have a big WHY that helps you get out of bed in the morning.
It keeps propelling you forward when the going gets tough.

I worked with someone recently who was at a PUSH to the finish line. He was trying to grind it out to retirement and finish strong. And it was like trying to push a boulder up a hill.

Then he got laid off. Yikes. This can be a scary thing at the tail end of a career.

However, it turns out this was the best thing that could’ve happened!

Losing that job opened up space to go after something completely different and set new goals.

He saw an opportunity to disrupt an industry, went for it — and, wow! Things are going better than ever. He loves what he does so much now, and he’s so engaged in the work, that retirement isn’t even part of the conversation anymore.

He’ll be able to slow down when he’s ready, but the PULL has reinvigorated his zest for life and legacy and the impact he wants to make.

But you don’t have to lose your job or find yourself in a bind before making the shift.

If you’re trying to push for a result right now and it feels hard — stop.

Think about elevating your goal.

What’s your larger vision?
How can you make it bigger than you?
What difference do you want to make?

Go deeper to figure out what will compel you to show up with enthusiasm.

What vision will PULL you into the future?

Want to start a business? Ask yourself these questions first.

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 21, 2023

Clients often come to me looking to make a career change — into a different job, different industry, or different level. Sometimes it’s a little shift, sometimes a big step up, and sometimes a major pivot.

And it’s never easy, but always worth it. Because if you’re feeling uncomfortable and that nagging feeling that you want something more isn’t going away — it’s time to get moving!

But fair warning: the biggest nag of all can get you into trouble if you let it.

I’m talking about the entrepreneurial bug — that pesky voice that’s telling you to go out on your own, hang your shingle, and do your own thing…there’s no shutting that bugger up…

So, if self-employment is calling you, you need to take it seriously. Don’t allow yourself to make the leap into business before giving it the attention it deserves.

Hear it out, push back, and get crystal clear on your plans for success. Skip this step, and you’ll kick yourself later. Trust me on this.

Start by asking yourself some key questions —

What are you selling?
What are your specific services?, and going to charge?
Will you become an LLC or incorporate?
What kind of seed money will you need?
Who are your ideal clients and where will you find them?
Who’s going to hold you accountable and keep you on track?

The reality is, it takes 1-3 years to build a sustainable service business. Most likely, you’ll be chief, cook, and bottle washer for a while. You may even have to do some work for free in the beginning. There’s a lot to take into consideration…

Are you willing to take the risks? Make the sacrifices? Do what it takes?

You can do it, but you’ll want to go into it with eyes wide open.

What are you scrappy and hungry for?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 14, 2023

I don’t know about you, but I am “scrappy and hungry, and I’m not throwin’ away my shot…”

If you’re one of the millions of people who enjoyed the hit sensation Hamilton, you may recognize this tune. Consider it our theme song for today.

I believe being scrappy and hungry is one of the under-appreciated keys to success. Sure, we say things like “hard work pays off,” but we tend to look at the people who’ve “made it” as capable, confident, and poised, forgetting they were once just getting started — scrappy, hungry, and willing to take a shot!

Their goals were worth it to them. Going after their dreams was worth the risk of being judged, getting it wrong, and putting in the work.

What about YOU? What are you scrappy and hungry for?

My clients often tell me they want to serve people, make an impact, grow a business, create change in the world, further a cause, make more money…the list goes on. They claim to really want it, but they’re not doing anything about it.

So my question for them and for YOU is this: If not now, WHEN?

Because I’ve asked it so many times, I have a pretty good idea what your answer is: “I don’t know.” And there’s a good chance you’ll follow that up with, “HOW do I know?”

I’ve noticed we humans have a hard time recognizing when we’re ready. There’s no clear-cut way to know for absolute certain, of course, but there are some telltale signs —

- You’re miserable.
- You have an “itch” that keeps nagging at you that something isn’t right.
- You’re daydreaming a lot, scrolling social media, envying folks who are doing what you want to do.

This is the universe, your internal guidance system, or whatever you believe whispering (or shouting!) at you that it’s time to TAKE YOUR SHOT.

But here’s the sign you most likely won’t get: an undeniable sense that you absolutely, without a doubt, feel ready. If you’re waiting for that, you’ll be waiting forever.

You’re going to have doubts. That’s normal. DO. IT. ANYWAY.

Get scrappy, listen to your hungry desire, and give it a real shot. Make your dream a priority.

Want to write a novel? Wake up every morning and write 1,000 words before getting out of bed.

Want to grow an audience on social media? Start posting valuable content every day; learn what they want from you.

Want to build a business? Focus on getting ONE customer or ONE client, and grow from there.