Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

Opportunity

How to Make a Tough Career Decision

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Figuring out where to go next on your career path is rarely an easy decision.

It often keeps people up at night, tossing and turning, wondering what their next best move might be.

How to make a tough career decisionWhen considering an opportunity, sometimes it’s a clear “hell no!” or “heck yeah!” But more often than not, folks find themselves grappling in the gray — not knowing which way to go.

We’ve all been there.

You make a list of pros and cons.
You ask everyone you know for their input.
You’ll even start flipping coins if you’re desperate enough.

But if you really want to find the best answer, here’s what you need to know —

When you’re nervous about making a career decision, there’s a good chance your brain is working against your best interests.

Your gut is trying to steer you right.

The small voice inside that we refer to as instinct or intuition is pretty spot on. If the idea of pursuing the opportunity feels exciting and lights you up, that’s a big hint that you’re onto something.

But then the fear starts to kick in.

You’ll recognize it when you hear yourself saying, “yeah, but…”

Here’s a tip I learned a long time ago from a career counselor:

“The number of ‘yeah, buts’ you say is in direct correlation to the depth of your fear.” – Adele Scheely

Your fear is simply trying to put on the brakes to keep you safe, but it can keep you stuck if you let it.

‘Yeah, but’ is your logical thinking flexing its muscles.

Let it help you anticipate the obstacles you may face and chart a clear path forward, but don’t let it stop you.

Discernment is important because there’s often another tricky conspirator attempting to push you forward while further clouding your decision-making — your emotional needs.

Are you really excited about this career move because it’s the right thing for you? Or are you doing it in an attempt to fulfill some unmet emotional need — seeking approval, recognition, or validation, for example?

Your emotional needs are aching to be fulfilled, trying to get your attention because you didn’t get enough of whatever it is as a kid.

It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it is something to be mindful of. Don’t let the need to feel loved, heard, or appreciated override good sense.

See what I mean? Not easy.

Career decisions come with real consequences.

Without the ability to work out the decision from a place of awareness and confidence, you can find yourself miles down the wrong path, wondering how you got there.

You may even find yourself walking in circles or hesitant to take the next step because you are already lost. This is especially true if you’ve made poor decisions in the past that got you to a place where you didn’t want to be.

You may have lost some trust in decision-making. So let’s work on that.

In my experience as a coach, I’ve found the best way to reach a healthy decision is to feel your way through it. If you’ve lost touch (or trust) with your gut instincts and intuition, you can learn to tune back in again.

So if you’re grappling with a big decision and want some guidance feeling your way through it, join us over in the Career Clarity and Direction Community on Facebook.

Is It Time for Your Own Business?

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According to the Census Bureau, more than 4.4 million new businesses were created in the U.S. during 2020 — the highest total on record. For reference, that’s a 24.3% increase from 2019 and 51.0% higher than the 2010-19 average. Half a million new businesses were started in January 2021, alone.*

What does that mean for you if you’re thinking of making the leap? It’ll mean you’re not alone, you’re not crazy and that the time has finally come for you to oversee your own schedule and destiny.

Will it be easy? NO.

But is it possible? YES.

Here are some things to consider if you’re contemplating your corporate exit:

Time

Will you create a side-hustle or leap in full time? It can take one to three years to build a sustainable service business depending on your network and propensity for hustle.

Money

It’s not out of the question to be able to start a service-based business with a few thousand dollars if equipment is not needed, but it’s all about how fast you can get cash coming in.

Figure out if you’ll be funding this yourself and how long you can go without an income as you build. If you are going to try to secure funding from family and friends, make very clear agreement and discuss each other’s expectations.

Here is a general idea of some things to budget for and what to think about.

What are you selling?

Where your original idea can change over time, it’s important to know what you are offering and for how much. How will the marketplace value your service? Does it match what you hope for? Do some informal market research speaking to several people you feel might be potential customers down the road. Find competitors and get a sense of what is working out there.

(Note: If you test this with friend, they will not be a good gauge of your worth in the marketplace. They are not likely to offer up big numbers that they wouldn’t pay themselves but remember others might)

Gaps in strengths and knowledge

You have to be honest with yourself. What is the skill you can’t wait to charge for? The result you can’t wait to create? Then, ask yourself what could get in the way of you being paid to use/create that? Are you afraid to talk to people? Are you unclear about how to market your service or even how to have a sales conversation? Do you have a hurdle to climb when it comes to understanding the technology, you’ll need to be all things as a solopreneur?

It is critical that you do an honest assessment and start upgrading your skills to fill the gaps or identify a partner or help that could be a part of the business to make it succeed.

Your odds

Just like adding kids to your life, or buying a home, you can’t wait for the perfect timing because there is no such thing. However, the trend is here and it’s a favorable time. Remember though, that according to JP Morgan Chase statistics, roughly a third of new businesses exit within their first two years, and half exit within their first five years. The survival rate of new businesses has been remarkably consistent over time.

All that means for you is to do your homework and prepare. Consistency of action, some planning, and a tremendous amount of gumption (fear is a good motivator!) are what will put you over the top.

The Helplessness of Career Transition

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Day in and day out I talk to people who are on a quest to make a change in their work and, therefore, their lives. With that daily privilege comes a front row seat to all the ways that people get in their own way. I’m a witness to helplessness in career transition and as harsh as this may sound, I think the helplessness is a convenient excuse.

Lorraine (name changed to protect confidentiality) was part of a COVID purge and was deflated by the swift and unexpected turn of events in her life. Perfectly understandable she had feelings of betrayal and loss. She could withstand unemployment for a while, but she felt paralyzed by the prospect of finding a new job during an economic downturn.

She admittedly enjoyed some time off, but as the days grew to weeks and then months, she found herself spinning and procrastinating. It was easier to focus on her kids and home projects. She didn’t even want to face the computer and plant herself down to research or apply for jobs online.

Sound familiar?

The Helplessness of Career Transition

Let me offer some different ways of thinking that can help you plant your butt in that seat and put daily action into your job search.
You must shift from:

• Victim to Opportunist — What if life’s sideswipe was not something that happened TO you but rather it was something that happened FOR you? This “new-agey” adage is becoming cliché, but it’s so accurate. Seeing yourself as a victim of this circumstance is a waste of time. Instead, realize it’s an opportunity to correct what you may have not liked about your previous post.

It may be the very kick in the pants you needed to make a change or at least wake you up out of complacency and make you take a good hard look at yourself. What if this really was part of a plan to get you on a path to something better? What will it take for you to see it as an opportunity?

• Lost to Grounded — So many clients feel lost. I know it’s unsettling but feeling grounded, focused and on a path is instantly available. Adopt a different mindset. Reframe “I’m lost” into “I’m uncomfortable not knowing my destination” or “I’m figuring it out.” Both are more powerful than “I’m lost.” It’s OK to not know where you’re headed as long as you make the work of finding the next thing your current destination. You’re on a path to finding the next thing.

• Scared to Willing — Fear is normal. It can be a great motivator until it isn’t because it freezes you, making action impossible. All you need is the will. Are you willing to do what it takes to get to the next job? You don’t have to know exactly HOW you’ll get there, but you have to be willing.

Your thoughts determine your action. If you’re scared and action is zero, “willing” will move you into action. What are you willing to do?

• Loser to Winner — It is FAR too easy to start believing you’re a loser because you were let go or something came to an end without your permission. I had a conversation yesterday with a man who was let go from his last two jobs. He had a sad sack story and was sliding into the pit of despair.

I asked him if it was his fault that those two jobs disappeared. The answer was equivocally no. There was no performance-based reason. These were cutbacks due to the policies of the last four years and then COVID. Surprisingly, saying it out loud that his losses were not his direct fault freed him from his “sad” story, and he was very energized as he told me his thoughts about the changes in his industry that led to the cuts.

He left the conversation with some clarity about where he could find new opportunities just by changing his MIND!

Helplessness is a result of not having practice. Who practices being unemployed? Nobody. There is no preparation training or even discussion about it. It likens to a tabu disease that evokes shame as if it were your recklessness that brought it on.

If you get no practice for being in between jobs (we hope you don’t have practice!), then how should you know how to cope? You don’t. Therefore, what’s required is more discipline and structure than you had when you were in a job. You have to create that for yourself.

Help yourself because it makes you MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE as a candidate for employment. Would you hire the sad, helpless person, or the one who exudes well-being and clarity about their value?

Hmmmm. Come on, hop to it! You’re not helpless. Use your resourcefulness the way you would if this were a fun creative project you had to figure out. Pretend, if you have to. A new opportunity awaits.

A Horribly Good Year

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2020. The world was knocked off its axis. Humans, once again, had to be reminded that they are not in charge. Mother Nature nearly stopped the whole globe with a virus. The pollution over India, China, and the West Coast of the U.S. was almost non-existent as we learned that we actually do know how to stop global warming if we could care more about life than money for a month or two a year.

2020. The disparity of the worst and the best in people, and the best and the worst personal circumstances. Many are barely keeping their spirit from breaking due to the traumatizing losses this year has brought:

loss of life, of health, of companionship, of employment, of the freedom to move about, and the loss of food security in what is supposedly my “richest country in the world.”  Many of us have been brought to our knees, and if we have an ounce of awareness that life has been far from “normal” we couldn’t help but be transformed by 2020.

Certainly, my wardrobe has been transformed to become two sizes bigger, but in all seriousness, I count myself among the lucky because everyone in my life have stayed healthy despite a few positive COVID tests around us.

We are all still here. “Still here” also means my young, adult and almost-adult children are under my roof stopped in their tracks just as they were experiencing the start of college and for my eldest child, the early momentum of his chosen career. Dead stop. Online classes and the lack of work opportunities have been hard. “But we have our health,” I tell them. (Perspective does not come easy when you’re young and hungry to experience the world.)

My 2020 was not off to a great start even before COVID. Several avenues I was expecting to be available to me after spending a year running for political office were not welcoming me with open arms. New book? Nope. Ongoing work with one of my favorite customers? Nope.

Now what?! I started down the path of bringing my skill set back to the corporate sector (vs. the public) and doors began to open. Then, after a fun March day in NYC catching a matinee with a dear friend – BAM – the world closed. It was not a good time, but I will be grateful for this year for a long time.

There were a lot of silver linings from the chaos of this year. As I said in my prediction article for 2021, remote work will outlast this crisis. I’ve worked from home since the 1990s, but what was different and what I want to remember is the pace. I’ve LOVED staying put on a daily basis. Not running to meetings gave me more time overall.

The slower pace translated into business being slow as people and companies struggled to figure out how to navigate a COVID world. However, I followed my own advice (after spending March on the couch) recognizing that this was an opportunity and not a catastrophe.

That allowed for some business pivots, planning and sales results that I’m very pleased with, and it would not have happened if it weren’t for the world standing still.

2020. Holidays. I finally experienced why I don’t quite succeed year after year at enjoying the holiday season as I’d like to despite preparing earlier and earlier every year. It required no parties, no guests, no shopping in person and no obligations! I do miss seeing people, but the lack of stress was mind-bending. How to achieve that when all the hoopla comes back? I’ll be pondering that.

I’m compelled to share what made me especially giddy this holiday season. I baked. More specifically, I mastered biscotti after some tutoring from an Italian cooking wizard friend, AND I watched at least one Hallmark Christmas movie every single night! They are awful – and wonderful! Even my very anti-Hallmark husband joined in as we nightly predicted the plots, the scripted lines, and what time the eventual kiss would happen (usually five to ten minutes before the end!) We even came up with a drinking game, but I have to protect my reputation and not tell you what it was. All that to say it was THE BEST holiday season I’ve had in a long time.

2020 delivered even more by showing me the power of focus and consistency. I’ve always had enough focus to succeed, but with so many pieces dropping out of the picture this year, it became painfully clear how I distract myself to a fault. I’m putting the infrastructure in place now to allow me more freedom like I’ve had lately, when life speeds up again.

This year also produced a significant mindset shift. On June 1st, I signed up to do online weight training every day for thirty minutes. I turned from flab to muscle again (Hello! I missed you) and with that came a mindset shift. Consistency (not perfection) became my game, and it paid off.

Moving that consistency every day into my work (even though there wasn’t much going on) progressed into some great insight, risk taking and harnessing energy to get new results. The takeaway is processing that it’s not the big hit right away that marks success, but rather focusing on the ultimate goal by doing more of the right things, more consistently.

So, 2020 was horrible but it grew me, and I know it grew you. We had to look at ourselves in the mirror because there was just no way to get away from ourselves. We were forced to examine everything, including the cracks in our ceilings (home repairs went up in 2020).

For some, there were very bad things to contend with. For a lot of us, we found out if we really liked our kids (oh, admit it), their schooling, our work, our partner, our belongings and our assumptions about race, politics and world events. Everything! Hopefully, you still like your peeps, but I know you’ve been changed. We will all be better people for all we’ve been through.

What I will be most grateful about 2020 was the time. The time to think, to create, to imagine, the time for gatherings at the dinner table every night and yes, the damn Hallmark movies!

You’re Being Let Go! Don’t Panic. Do This Instead.

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You’ve been called in to someone’s office and told that you’re being relieved of your post. You are not being walked out the door within the hour, but rather, you have been advised that you are part of upcoming cuts and that you have a couple of weeks before your last day.

It stings. It hurts. Your anxiety kicks in as your mind races through the images of bills piled up on the kitchen counter and the savings goals you had been working on going to hell.

You’re Being Let Go! Don’t Panic. Do This InsteadIt’s human nature to want to know why this is happening and to begin gathering as much information as possible to justify, reconcile and absorb what might stabilize the shock. I’m here to warn you that spending the remainder of your employed time processing why this is happening to you is throwing away a great opportunity.

Inspired by a question on our Now What?® Community Call last month, I want to help you focus on what can make a profound difference to your future while you are still on the job.

The young woman who posed the question told us that her time in her position was coming to an end. Her first instinct was to find out who knew why this was happening, and if they had anything to do with it. She was naturally upset, confused, and defensive.

“Don’t get sucked into a drama,” I responded. “Spending your time figuring out who did what and why will waste energy and deprive you of a golden opportunity.”

She saw immediately how easily she was headed down the drama path. She shifted as we spoke to see that instead, she could use the time to cement relationships she’d been meaning to improve anyway for which she had never had the time.

She saw that she could gather industry knowledge from colleagues and bosses while she built bridges instead of burning them.

As she had these conversations, she learned she was liked and that the job really wasn’t a fit, so she felt more confident knowing she would find the next thing AND leave good mojo in her wake.

If you get this news, should you also start looking for a job right away? Absolutely! However, remember how you leave a room is just as important as the first impression you make upon entering.

Try to calm your fear and anxiety about the unknown future and make a graceful exit. Network, say goodbye, get advice, share appreciation, and if asked for an exit survey or asked to give feedback, be truthful but gracious.

“We are letting you go,” does not have to be your cue to rage. It can be your cue to begin strategically reaping the good that’s left from your current role (no stealing please).

Deal with the emotions outside of work and make the process of finding your next move as strategic as your exit. Let us know how we can help.

Those Questions…

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Let’s face it, when you’re looking for another job, there a lot of questions that you will have to grapple with!

Here is some advice that reminds you to go beyond what you think will sound good or “right” to the interviewer. And whether they ask these particular ones or not, they are good to think about as you engage in the search.

How to Answer “What Are Your Short/Long-Term Goals”