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How To NOT Quit on Yourself

By Laura Berman Fortgang on August 6, 2023

When you’re working towards a goal, quitting often seems like the easy way out.

Everyone wants to throw in the towel sometimes — when the going gets tough, when you hit a hiccup, or when you’re just not feeling up to it.

Getting up every day, chugging along, and doing what it takes — no matter what — isn’t always easy.

And sometimes quitting just makes good sense.

But if you really want something, quitting — on your career, your business, or yourself — isn’t the way to go.

If you give up now, chances are you’ll kick yourself later. I’ve seen it lead to a lot of regret.

I’ve even seen quitting become a habit. People do it again and again and never get to where they want to go.

Far too many disappointments and broken dreams could’ve been avoided, if only they’d learned how to NOT quit, which may sound easier said than done, but it’s actually quite simple.

There’s only ONE way.

THE key to getting through tough times is to focus on the bigger picture.

Laser in on something bigger than you.
What’s the goal?, your mission? and the greater cause behind what you want?

Here’s what I mean —

I’m working with a team right now that’s under a lot of pressure. Their industry is taking a hit, they’ve been through rounds of layoffs, and morale is at an all-time low. But this team is playing a crucial role in the organization, so they need to stay on their game and focused on the mission, which is producing work for an important cause. It’s their collective passion for that cause that’s keeping them going while the going is tough.

So, what’s your personal cause? It may be something different in every scenario.

If you feel like quitting, look for something bigger.

Think about it. One of the best ways to get yourself out of a funk is to do something for somebody else.

If you’ve been around for a while, you may know that I went through a period of severe depression in my 20s. The best thing I did for myself was to begin helping people who were less fortunate, delivering food to individuals who were shut in with illness or old age. It changed the trajectory of my life!

It’s not all about keeping your nose to the grindstone. Look for the greater meaning in the work itself. If you don’t find it there, seek meaning all around you.

Hitting your business goals may allow you to give more financially to causes that matter. Changing careers may allow more flexibility in your schedule to volunteer at your kids’ school.

It doesn’t have to be altruistic. Making that next sale or bonus could fund a girl’s trip to Napa Valley you’ve been craving, or a dreamy backyard makeover, or bump up retirement by a year.

THE key to getting through tough times is to focus on the bigger game.

4 Ways to Strengthen Your Personal Foundation

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 30, 2023

After last week’s post, my inbox was flooded with questions. Which is always a nice surprise, honestly. It seems I struck a chord.

Many of you wanted to know more about what it takes to stand strong when something comes along and tries to knock you off your game.

I’m glad you’re curious!

All too often, smart, capable, driven people are letting disappointments and setbacks muck up their day, throw them for a loop, and ruin their plans.

If this is you, I know you’re sick of the disruption.

The client you hoped to land ghosts you.
The recruiter for that dream job sends a rejection letter.
The folks who bought your coaching program’s credit cards are declining.
Your new VP left you off a “big deal” meeting invite.

And you’re SO sick of letting it all shake you up. But you don’t know what to do about it.

You know your personal foundation needs some work, but you don’t know how to go about building a solid one.

I get it; you either have it or you don’t. The good news is, once it’s built, it will stand the test of time. Even when it crumbles a little, you’ll know how to piece it back together and pack it down tight.

Here’s what it’ll take.

1. Stop taking things personally. That might sound easier said than done, but it can be done. Because — A.) Whatever it is, it’s not about you. And B.) You’re not damaged or broken. You’re learning.
2. Spend time with yourself. Ideally, learn how to meditate. At the very least, take three to five minutes every day to clear your mind, pause the ruminating, and think about nothing. Don’t make it hard. Start with searching for a guided meditation on YouTube. Tuning into yourself is a great reminder that your foundation is stronger than you might think; you’ve already overcome so much.
3. Know your triggers. We all have them! We’ve had childhood trauma or negative experiences as an adult, and reminders can pull us into an emotional loop. By identifying those triggers, possibly by working with a therapist, you’ll be able to catch them sooner and avoid the spiral.
4. Become friends with fear. Why? Because it’s never going away, so you may as well embrace it. You can let it take you over like The Blob in the 1950s horror film or brush it aside like a mosquito bite. Fear is simply trying to protect you from something; learn to listen to its underlying message and use it for good.

There you have it. Incorporate these four tips into your life and your personal foundation will be stronger than ever. It’ll take work, but it’s so worth it!

What does freedom mean to you?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 9, 2023

I’m not sure where you are in the world, but here in the US, we’re in a season of celebrating freedom. We just marked our nation’s independence on the 4th of July and commemorated the emancipation of enslaved people in the US on Juneteenth.

So “freedom” is in the air…

But the true meaning of freedom goes far beyond historical triumph and jubilee. We each have a personal definition of what feels free.

We all strive for the freedom to do, to be, and to have whatever we want.

As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, operating in life as you see fit is the ideal measure of freedom.

Freedom to love and form the relationships you want,
Create the lifestyle that you want for yourself and your family.
Freedom to have meaningful work and make the kind of money you want.
Etc, etc, etc.

Again, what does freedom mean to you?

Here’s what it means to me:

1. Emotional Freedom — not being controlled by my emotions or mood and having the ability to handle things easily, with low stress. Freedom to simply be and do.

2. Freedom of Time — having control over my schedule and, most importantly, the ability to work less and make more money.

I value spending time with family, doing fun things, and focusing on my hobbies and creative pursuits. I can’t do any of that if I’m a servant to my emotions or constricted by time-wasting obligations.

I love looking at my schedule every day and seeing plenty of room in it while continuing to make the money I want to make. THAT is FREEDOM to me.

What are you scrappy and hungry for?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 14, 2023

I don’t know about you, but I am “scrappy and hungry, and I’m not throwin’ away my shot…”

If you’re one of the millions of people who enjoyed the hit sensation Hamilton, you may recognize this tune. Consider it our theme song for today.

I believe being scrappy and hungry is one of the under-appreciated keys to success. Sure, we say things like “hard work pays off,” but we tend to look at the people who’ve “made it” as capable, confident, and poised, forgetting they were once just getting started — scrappy, hungry, and willing to take a shot!

Their goals were worth it to them. Going after their dreams was worth the risk of being judged, getting it wrong, and putting in the work.

What about YOU? What are you scrappy and hungry for?

My clients often tell me they want to serve people, make an impact, grow a business, create change in the world, further a cause, make more money…the list goes on. They claim to really want it, but they’re not doing anything about it.

So my question for them and for YOU is this: If not now, WHEN?

Because I’ve asked it so many times, I have a pretty good idea what your answer is: “I don’t know.” And there’s a good chance you’ll follow that up with, “HOW do I know?”

I’ve noticed we humans have a hard time recognizing when we’re ready. There’s no clear-cut way to know for absolute certain, of course, but there are some telltale signs —

- You’re miserable.
- You have an “itch” that keeps nagging at you that something isn’t right.
- You’re daydreaming a lot, scrolling social media, envying folks who are doing what you want to do.

This is the universe, your internal guidance system, or whatever you believe whispering (or shouting!) at you that it’s time to TAKE YOUR SHOT.

But here’s the sign you most likely won’t get: an undeniable sense that you absolutely, without a doubt, feel ready. If you’re waiting for that, you’ll be waiting forever.

You’re going to have doubts. That’s normal. DO. IT. ANYWAY.

Get scrappy, listen to your hungry desire, and give it a real shot. Make your dream a priority.

Want to write a novel? Wake up every morning and write 1,000 words before getting out of bed.

Want to grow an audience on social media? Start posting valuable content every day; learn what they want from you.

Want to build a business? Focus on getting ONE customer or ONE client, and grow from there.

Is an Identity Crisis Holding You Back in Your Business?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on April 30, 2023

In my coaching practice, I run into a lot of entrepreneurial spirits.

As people are talking through what they want to do with their life and career, the conversation often takes a familiar turn, and I know what’s coming —
“What I really want is to do my own thing!”

It’s an exciting revelation. Charting your own course and becoming your own boss is the ultimate freedom, and who doesn’t want that?

Well, as it turns out, lots of folks…

Most people like the idea of starting a business, but when it comes down to it, there’s a lot that holds them back.

In particular, they often run up against a doozy that stops them in their tracks … and it might not be what you think.

Sure, the money, resources, and logistics can be a challenge, but an even bigger hurdle tends to be something even closer to home.

If you’re considering venturing into business for yourself, your #1 obstacle is likely to be YOU.

Are YOU, in reality, someone who can own your own business? Is “business owner” an identity you’re ready to take on?

I was talking to a client recently who was kind of a big deal at her job. She’d carved out a successful career and was confident that she had what it takes to go out on her own — until she wasn’t.

As she began to take action, she started to freak out. “What if I don’t know what I’m doing?”

She started having an identity crisis. “What if I’m not cut out for this?”

So I had to get real with her. “The truth is, you don’t know what you’re doing — yet. But you’re learning. You’re planning. And you’re gathering the resources and support you need to set yourself up for success.”

Rather than let an identity crisis knock you off track, it’s best to embrace change as you grow.

Because in business, you’re going to keep growing, evolving, learning and taking on new identities along the way:
– One-on-one service provider to company boss with a team
– Startup founder to established entrepreneur
– Six-figure consultant to seven- or eight- figure mover and shaker
– Best kept secret to PR darling

There are so many different ways your identity will be challenged and shaped through the experience of business ownership. You have to be willing to embrace change and growth.

This might sound easier said than done, but it’s entirely possible. I see it all the time.

The best way I’ve found to adapt smoothly is to look closely at the reality of where you are now and where you want to go.

Think of it as a Venn diagram —
Circle A) What’s true now?
Circle B) What do I need to succeed?
Overlapping area: What do these two answers have in common?

That’s where the sweet spot is — the new identity you’re able to take on at any given time.

It’s from that sweet spot that you’ll be ready to take on anything!

The Missing Ingredient to Make Wishes a Reality

By Laura Berman Fortgang on April 23, 2023

What’s something you wish for?

Maybe you’ve wished for it all your life. Maybe you’ve developed a longing for it over time. It could be something big or small, but it’s a desire that won’t leave you alone. You want it, and it matters to you.

Become a bestselling author.
Own a bed and breakfast in a seaside town.
Fund a trip around the world doing work you love.
Find a new, more fulfilling job!

Whatever it is, you just don’t know how to make it come true.

You could try manifesting it by meditating on a mountaintop … which might work!

– OR –

You could take more practical steps forward … which is much more likely to do the trick!

No matter what you wish to have or achieve, there is very likely a well-worn path to get there. You simply need to do the work.

But you might be wondering, if it’s as simple as that, why doesn’t everyone just go out there and make their wishes come true? Two reasons —

If you’re anything like most people, you’d much rather
1.) seek pleasure
– OR –
2.) avoid pain

We tend to perceive things like creating structure, following the steps, and doing the work as pain — the boring, grueling, not-so-fun part.

We’re looking for instant wins rather than recognizing the potential in delayed gratification.

If your wish is to be good at playing the piano, you have to practice.,
to grow your business by closing more sales, you have to do more sales calls, and
land your dream job, you’ll have to keep networking and updating your resume.

Just like you can’t build a house without a foundation, you can’t make your wish into reality without a structure. You’ll need to look at that blueprint and get to work.

It’s worked for me, and I see it work for my clients every day.

For example, a woman I worked with a few years ago saw the writing on the wall. A merger was coming at her company, and she was going to be out of a job. So she went to work creating a structure to find her new home.

She wanted to be known as the best person for the job.

And she didn’t just wish for it; she went for it!

Here’s what that looked like:

2x per month, she went to lunch with someone in her industry, a connection from LinkedIn.
1x per month, she spoke at a conference or association meeting.

So when the hatchet came down, she was only out of a job for three weeks. She’d created a structure that bolstered her career, took action, and was able to move into a new place with ease.

Is luck ever involved? Of course. But you create more lucky breaks for yourself if you’ve taken action and set the foundation for things to fall into place.

What are you going to do next to grant your own wish?