Now What?® Coaching
from Laura Berman Fortgang
It happens . . . things go along well for a couple of decades, and suddenly you find life has happened in unexpected ways, and you’re not sure how to enter a new career path.
Be gentle with yourself as you begin moving forward. Here are some things to consider to support you along the way.
I’m Ashamed of My Work History and Want to Make a Career Change at 40
When all you can see is what’s right in front of you, it’s very hard to be creative. You may be painfully aware that you can’t stand what you are doing for work right now and still be utterly unable to see any other options. It’s a phenomenon that I see over and over again as I talk to people who can’t find the incentive to stay where they are but have no idea what else they could do.
Sometimes it seems that a career is on a trajectory similar to a laboratory mouse which has to travel straight in a narrow lane from one end of the box to the other.
There’s no way to see over the walls of the lane to other possible paths, and all you can see is what is right in front of you. There is no way out and only one way to go – straight forward – on the same path you’ve been traveling.
Of course, this is an incorrect assumption, but it is also a very hard trap to get out of on your own. The key is to understand what choices got you in the box. How did you end up with only one pathway?
It may have been the motivation to please your family or the intent to see a strong suit through. It could have been that you had to prove something to yourself or to others or that you didn’t think you could attain what you truly wanted.
There are so many reason we find ourselves cornered by our resume and can’t see any other feasible way to go.
Josh was out of work when he hired me to help him figure out what was next. He detested his old job and knew he didn’t want to go back to the same type of work, but he could not get out of the one-way lane.
The salary of his old kind of work was very alluring, but he would admit that the thought of doing the same thing again was mind numbing.
It took a lot of chiseling away at the barrier he had put around the truth of what he wanted. He wanted to tap into his roots as a musician. He knew that becoming a middle-aged rock star held no promise.
However, we did eventually uncover many ways to combine his musical interests and business acumen to invent a totally new direction for him that had merit and were worth pursuing. He was able to get some traction exploring different possibilities.
A complete letting go is necessary. I imagine someone holding on to a ledge “white-knuckling” it. They are holding on for dear life and won’t let go.
In my fictitious scenario, it’s not holding on in order to avoid falling to great injury or death, but it is with the same tenacity that people will cling to a path even while they admit they can’t stand the thought of continuing on.
I don’t believe it when people tell me they don’t know what they want to do. I think they do know but they are just too afraid to admit it.
Can we help? Let us know! We have a team of facilitators who’d love to help you find your next direction.
When I was five years old, my father was offered the opportunity to establish an office for his large American employer in Caracas, Venezuela. (It was a much healthier and wealthier place then that it is now.)
I wasn’t privy to how the negotiation with my mother went down, but they decided to take the one-year assignment. It turned out to become a six year stay, and one I am forever grateful for as I’m still a Spanish speaker and a lover of exploring different cultures.
At least once in each of our adult lives, we’re likely to have to make a decision that pulls us towards an unproven opportunity and away from the comfort of established routine and relative certainty. I’ve listened to many a client weigh the fear and lack of a guaranteed outcome with the excitement and “rightness” of what’s calling.
In the last couple of years, I’ve worked with two established medical professionals who were presented with the opportunity to go in a related but new direction. One, felt deeply called to provide more holistic and integrated medical care but feared being ridiculed by the ‘establishment’ and never being able to return to traditional medicine if her leap did not work out.
The other, was a very well-reputed surgeon who felt compelled to bring her talents to the world of artificial intelligence in the medical field (robotic surgery to be specific). She had no guarantee that it would be a wise career move although it sounded very plausible. Both women ultimately left the comfort of certainty to reap very positive results.
This brings me to my own hard right. Earlier this month, I declared a run for New Jersey State Assembly which is a part-time designation. It would be a tremendous honor to represent constituents in the everyday decisions and votes that affect their lives.
Some of you may recall that I did run briefly in 2017. We’ll call that the apprenticeship. This one is fully professional and staffed by people who know how to win elections.
Although I had run before, it was not in my plans to run this time around. There were very big responsibilities keeping me in the land of certainty. However, let’s just say the Universe conspired to open the door so I would step through it.
An abundance of professional support came to me without effort. As is so often the case, the “coincidences” were too great to ignore.
What is pulling you off the known path? How can we support you to decipher what it is or to make it happen?
Sure, technical skills matter, but no matter what field you’re in, how you relate with people and the diversity of life experiences you bring into your circle matters.
“…building relationships is important because you just never know where the next opportunity is going to come from.”
One Engineer Explains How Relationships Can Have a Big Impact on Your Career
You fought as hard as you could. You jumped through every hoop. and kept your head in the game and your eye on the ball. AND you did not prevail!
WHAT??????!!
Four interviews over two weeks or seven callbacks over nine months; it doesn’t matter. Sometimes, you can do everything right and still not get what you want!
What do you do?
You grieve. For a bit. I suggest no more than three days. That’s my personal limit. After all, Jesus rose after three days, so it seems symbolically important too. (How’s that from a Jewish girl?)
AND THEN . . .
You pull yourself together and ask yourself: Do I want to quit, or allow this to make me work harder (and smarter)?
Depending on the answer, you act accordingly.
My daughter has chosen to follow in my musical theater footsteps, and it’s been a roller coaster of a ride. She worked professionally when she was a tween and came very, very close to several Broadway shows. She had HUGE “almosts.” Then, she became a teen — the kiss of death in professional theater. These are the “dead” years where you go back to your high school and community theaters and get more experience until you can come back as a pro after eighteen. (It’s less hassle to hire an 18-year-old who can play a younger teen, than hire a teen who comes with labor laws and schooling requirements).
We have been poised on that ledge of disappointment many, many times.
“Do you want to quit?”
“No,” she says.
“Then use this to build your determination to be the best you can be.”
The same goes for you.
Now, as a possible career transition seeker, not all circumstances roll like my daughter’s situation. Fighting ageism, changes in an industry, a gap in your resume and other issues don’t get resolved solely with determination and skill building. However, it does call for evolving determination, along with learning how to leverage your previous experience into something new and marketable.
That is where we come in. Please check out how to do this at Now What Coaching.