Now What Coaching

Life Lessons From A Disney Vacation

By Laura Berman Fortgang on February 10, 2022

After every holiday gathering, show and fun plan fell apart over the month of December, my family decided to forge ahead with our vacation to Orlando, Florida that we had been looking forward to for months. My young-adult children had their sights set on Disney (15 years after their childhood visit) and we just had to take the (COVID) risk and go.

The week in the parks put a spotlight on some lessons that might be worth sharing.

Planning

I can honestly say that many of my life’s highlights were moments that were unplanned but making dreams come true seamlessly takes a dance of flexibility and structure.

Getting reservations for meals at Disney is a competition that requires 5:40am wake up calls. Two days of failed attempts did not yield a spot at Cinderella’s Royal Table. We didn’t do that when my twins were six so it was on the 21 year old girl child’s must-do list. By day three of my failed attempts at the most desirable experiences, I had perfected a multiple-tabs-open strategy and landed a perfect dinner reservation in the castle. Whew!

So planning was key but the unplanned made the experience soar. We were pleasantly surprised that the ridiculously overpriced food was excellent AND that the servers cared so much that they made sure to move us to a window seat for dessert so we could watch the nightly fireworks from inside the castle. Oh my! Magic. My twenty somethings were struck like little kids and mom scored major points.

Lesson: Prepare AND let go! The magic is in the moment. The preparation creates the moment.

Values Are Your Guide

When I planned my wedding, I had a dream location in mind that was a 1940’s supper club. The price was so prohibitive that my budget would’ve allowed ten people at my wedding. I valued being surrounded by loving friends more than the location, so we changed plans.

Values informed the approach to the parks trip too. Staying on property at Disney comes with perks but I cared more about a) a place to spread out with a family of five (vrbmo) and b) not waiting on lines. The ridiculous system at the parks these days is about paying more for the privilege to skip the lines and yet I played that game. It was worth every dime to me.

Lesson: Values rule your choices, not marketing

Humans are thrill-seekers

It is astounding what we put up with to have a peak experience. Despite some fantastically short waits, our luck ran out on the Star Wars Rise of the Resistance ride. We couldn’t buy our way on or take the single rider line nor plan a fortuitous time to bypass the wait. SO, we waited AND the ride broke down adding to the time stuck in place. But guess what? People behaved. People entertained themselves and each other. Phones sure help pass the time and the ride was WORTH IT.

Climbing EVEREST, jumping out of a plane, building your body to peak shape—-whatever it is, we endure pain to win the prize.

Lesson: We will test our own limits to gain a thrill or a perceived prize.

Surrender Allows Wonder

By the time you board an attraction at these parks, you’ve done the hard work. (planning, scheming, waiting) You sit down, strap in and prepare to enter the unknown (or relive the familiar waiting to gain something new). Often, it’s more than your senses can absorb.

Wonder is the key ingredient and the trip begins. Is this why people indulge in psychedelics? Is this why virtual reality is so popular? There is a great adventure in crossing over from anticipation to real-time experience of the unusual and unknown. It’s a visit to the ‘beginner’s mind’ as well—taking in as much as you can, your senses and brain firing on all cylinders, your willingness to stay fully present (unless you are one to need to close your eyes), and landing on the other side assessing your experience. Was it good? What is disappointing? Do you need another turn to catch more of it?

Lesson: Life can be as thrilling if we mimic this suspension of disbelief

Last thought: “Is it really a vacation if you have to get up before dawn and have to walk 24K steps a day?”

Answer: Heck yes! We came home down on the scale after eating anything we wanted and donated a fridge full of midnight snacks we never ate (because we went to bed way before that) and NOBODY CAUGHT COVID!

Take a lesson and try it on for size.

* This was by no means meant to be an endorsement or guide to these attractions.
** I realize the privilege and ridiculousness of participating in the game.

Is It Time for Your Own Business?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on January 27, 2022

According to the Census Bureau, more than 4.4 million new businesses were created in the U.S. during 2020 — the highest total on record. For reference, that’s a 24.3% increase from 2019 and 51.0% higher than the 2010-19 average. Half a million new businesses were started in January 2021, alone.*

What does that mean for you if you’re thinking of making the leap? It’ll mean you’re not alone, you’re not crazy and that the time has finally come for you to oversee your own schedule and destiny.

Will it be easy? NO.

But is it possible? YES.

Here are some things to consider if you’re contemplating your corporate exit:

Time

Will you create a side-hustle or leap in full time? It can take one to three years to build a sustainable service business depending on your network and propensity for hustle.

Money

It’s not out of the question to be able to start a service-based business with a few thousand dollars if equipment is not needed, but it’s all about how fast you can get cash coming in.

Figure out if you’ll be funding this yourself and how long you can go without an income as you build. If you are going to try to secure funding from family and friends, make very clear agreement and discuss each other’s expectations.

Here is a general idea of some things to budget for and what to think about.

What are you selling?

Where your original idea can change over time, it’s important to know what you are offering and for how much. How will the marketplace value your service? Does it match what you hope for? Do some informal market research speaking to several people you feel might be potential customers down the road. Find competitors and get a sense of what is working out there.

(Note: If you test this with friend, they will not be a good gauge of your worth in the marketplace. They are not likely to offer up big numbers that they wouldn’t pay themselves but remember others might)

Gaps in strengths and knowledge

You have to be honest with yourself. What is the skill you can’t wait to charge for? The result you can’t wait to create? Then, ask yourself what could get in the way of you being paid to use/create that? Are you afraid to talk to people? Are you unclear about how to market your service or even how to have a sales conversation? Do you have a hurdle to climb when it comes to understanding the technology, you’ll need to be all things as a solopreneur?

It is critical that you do an honest assessment and start upgrading your skills to fill the gaps or identify a partner or help that could be a part of the business to make it succeed.

Your odds

Just like adding kids to your life, or buying a home, you can’t wait for the perfect timing because there is no such thing. However, the trend is here and it’s a favorable time. Remember though, that according to JP Morgan Chase statistics, roughly a third of new businesses exit within their first two years, and half exit within their first five years. The survival rate of new businesses has been remarkably consistent over time.

All that means for you is to do your homework and prepare. Consistency of action, some planning, and a tremendous amount of gumption (fear is a good motivator!) are what will put you over the top.

INTEGRITY – Does Your Work Have It?

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 12, 2021

Let me catch you before you head in the wrong direction.

This is not a post lecturing you on honesty and character in the workplace.
No.
Not at all.

The direction I want to point you in is understanding integrity in the context of wholeness.

If a structure had no foundational integrity, it would fail. If your life has no foundational integrity, it will be very, very messy, and likely, dramatic. If your work has no integrity, it’s not aligned with who you are.

The past year of Pandemic Living has revealed many fissures in the infrastructure our lives and shined a spotlight on work/careers whether you got to keep your job or not. It either gave you time to think or time to be in very close quarters with issues you were either ignoring or didn’t know were there.

If you are sitting with a set of discoveries, none too comforting, then you may feel out of sorts.

How do you get back into integrity?

Getting to wholeness requires telling the truth. It’s not easy to take a good, hard look at yourself and what has brought you to this point, but there is no escaping it. The truth will be your ticket to the other side whatever challenge you are facing now.

The steps are simple but require inner work to battle back the logic that tells you it’s not possible to make a change:

Face the truth of what’s keeping you from integrity
Name what’s missing
Keep experimenting with what you have (resume/background), and want like playing with a Rubik’s Cube (OK maybe something not that difficult) so that
you hit that moment when it clicks, the colors line up and the cube (and you) are WHOLE and in full INTEGRITY.

Three recent clients in my private practice have brought this integrity dilemma to our work as we contracted for me to help them gain clarity on their next career iteration. All three in hefty careers, all three knowing their industries no longer fit them. Who they are (what they want, value, need) was no longer aligned with what their industries contributed to the world, and they didn’t know what else they could do or be successfully employed at.

From the polluting side of energy to the sustainability side, from legal doldrums to an exciting and creative use of that skill set in the arts world and the seemingly happy kids’ clothes world to something (yet named, new client) that does not create as much waste and horrible working conditions for factory workers.

These are the kind of journeys back to integrity and wholeness I and the facilitators at Now What? Coaching takes people on from all walks of life.

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You’re Being Let Go! Don’t Panic. Do This Instead.

By Laura Berman Fortgang on July 17, 2020

You’ve been called in to someone’s office and told that you’re being relieved of your post. You are not being walked out the door within the hour, but rather, you have been advised that you are part of upcoming cuts and that you have a couple of weeks before your last day.

It stings. It hurts. Your anxiety kicks in as your mind races through the images of bills piled up on the kitchen counter and the savings goals you had been working on going to hell.

It’s human nature to want to know why this is happening and to begin gathering as much information as possible to justify, reconcile and absorb what might stabilize the shock. I’m here to warn you that spending the remainder of your employed time processing why this is happening to you is throwing away a great opportunity.

Inspired by a question on our Now What?® Community Call last month, I want to help you focus on what can make a profound difference to your future while you are still on the job.

The young woman who posed the question told us that her time in her position was coming to an end. Her first instinct was to find out who knew why this was happening, and if they had anything to do with it. She was naturally upset, confused, and defensive.

“Don’t get sucked into a drama,” I responded. “Spending your time figuring out who did what and why will waste energy and deprive you of a golden opportunity.”

She saw immediately how easily she was headed down the drama path. She shifted as we spoke to see that instead, she could use the time to cement relationships she’d been meaning to improve anyway for which she had never had the time.

She saw that she could gather industry knowledge from colleagues and bosses while she built bridges instead of burning them.

As she had these conversations, she learned she was liked and that the job really wasn’t a fit, so she felt more confident knowing she would find the next thing AND leave good mojo in her wake.

If you get this news, should you also start looking for a job right away? Absolutely! However, remember how you leave a room is just as important as the first impression you make upon entering.

Try to calm your fear and anxiety about the unknown future and make a graceful exit. Network, say goodbye, get advice, share appreciation, and if asked for an exit survey or asked to give feedback, be truthful but gracious.

“We are letting you go,” does not have to be your cue to rage. It can be your cue to begin strategically reaping the good that’s left from your current role (no stealing please).

Deal with the emotions outside of work and make the process of finding your next move as strategic as your exit. Let us know how we can help.

Unemployment, Civil Unrest, COVID and What It Has to Do with Your Career

By Laura Berman Fortgang on June 5, 2020

I sincerely hope that you are one of the people who still has a job in the midst of the COVID-19 crisis and the unrest in our country. Whether you do or not, we are going through something epic that the majority of us have no experience with. You’d have to be 100 years old to have lived through the last pandemic. We have not seen this level of unemployment seen since the 1930’s, and current day civil unrest is reminiscent of the 60’s. Facing all of this at once? Unprecedented. There is no roadmap on how to cope with all this.

A lot of people are understandably overwhelmed and upset. Their lives have been upended, and they are dealing with the pressures of working while juggling family at home. They do not have the breaks that come from kids being in school or summer camp. The deep pain of racism is palpable. Many are furloughed and are fearful that their job may not come back. Finances are in a long hiccup, and relationships are likely feeling the strain. All of this on top of missing friends and family we are not free to see. It’s a lot.

Let’s face it. For a lot of people, this is a shit show.

What can you do?

Remain calm
While fear can sometimes be a great motivator, try to manage your stress and anxiety. You will make better decisions and handle life’s uncertainty better if you can find a way to settle your mind and nervous system. Try a free meditation app on your phone or computer. Exercise! Try tapping to work with the emotions and thoughts that arise!

Be Strategic
Is it time to put the family on a strict budget? Are you in an industry that won’t recover any time soon? If so, how can you pivot? This is a good time to keep networking, whether you need a job or not, to keep yourself in the game, and learn what’s going on in your field.

Re-examine
For many, it’s become an opportunity to rethink careers and what you want from them. Does your management style need work? Do your priorities need reshuffling? How are you integrating the recent heightened awareness of systemic racism into your life and work? What are you grappling with in any area of your life? This is the time to examine and evolve.

Pivot
If you’re one of the people that has to pivot, the sooner you mourn your loss, the faster you can get on with your next step. Whatever you do, don’t look at your resume for guidance. Next, think about what marketable skills you have (even if they are hobbies). If you’ve long been holding back on making a change, the opportunity is here. You are not looking at a blank slate right now for no reason. It’s time to gather your resources and your courage to make the leap.

Redefine Opportunity
If the job market proves difficult, it’s natural to say there are no opportunities and to feel victimized. Now more than ever, opportunity needs to become something you create. Don’t wait for it to become available the usual ways. Redefine opportunity not only as something to attain, but also see the gap as the opportunity.

The future will not be about returning to normal. The future is evolving, and we will all be doing things a bit differently.

The upside of chaos is that it shakes things up to reveal new possibilities. It’s those that embrace it and proceed with focus who will bring in the new day successfully.

Please check out www.NowWhatCoaching.com and www.LauraBermanFortgang.com for more resources

The Shifting Landscape

By Laura Berman Fortgang on May 13, 2020

After 9/11, I remember many people feeling that there was no point to their day-to-day activities. Concerns that seemed so crucial a mere week or month before the towers fell now felt meaningless. The loss of lives and the loss of our assumed safety was shattering.

Within four days of 9/11, my phone and inbox were flooded with inquiries for coaching. People felt life was short and unpredictable, and they would no longer tolerate living a life that ran them into the ground with little satisfaction besides a paycheck.

The COVID-19 disruption is very different. Where life stopped for the NY Metro area after 9/11, it is now stopped in most of the country and most places in the world. It’s a global pause.

It’s been an unpredictable, unprecedented stop to almost everything. Pollution has been reduced dramatically due to the halting of manufacturing and travel in the air and on the ground.

People are hunkered down with their families or have more alone time than they ever bargained for. Buildings and streets are empty to the tune of a haunting silence.

We are keenly aware of the financial halt. So many jobs lost, so many bottom lines threatened, so many people feeling scared and despair setting in. No matter how badly we crave “normal,” we are still on pause.

WE ARE STILL ON PAUSE . . .

However, going back to normal is a misnomer. How long will it be until you are comfortable being in a theater, a sporting event, an office or a school? Lifting the shelter-in-place order does not change the realities of getting infected with or unknowingly carrying this virus.

So what are we left with? The greatest reorganization in most of our lifetimes.

How do we want to live? How do we want to care?

The skies are clear. Are we OK with picking up where we left off? If things continue as they were, it is likely we have less than ten years to save the planet.

Our bosses never thought working from home could serve the mission and yet, isn’t everyone learning they can do quite a lot without being face-to-face? By now we know if we want to homeschool full time (probably not!).

Sure, we want our kids to be happy and engaged, but did we really need to have every available time slot taken up by enriching activities? Books, puzzles, games, together time and family meals are pretty enriching, if you ask me. Do you really want to pick up where we left off, or are you ready to make a change?

The question this time, I think, is deeper than the one that arose from the 9/11 pause. People are not jumping into hyper-drive as they did after 9/11, and more people are questioning deeply as they sit in the pause. It’s been a prompt to examine what makes a life.

How do we measure it? How would you like to measure it? The threat of terrorism is no small thing, but the threat to hundreds of thousands of lives has given us time to be and to think.

That “itch” you may feel might be cabin fever, or it could be boredom, but in my experience, boredom is a prompt to create meaning. It’s not that you have nothing to DO that’s bothering you.

It’s more about not trusting what’s shown up. It’s actually an opportunity to redirect your energy and attention.

The coaching clients that are showing up now are less panicked than those of September 2001. Feeling at the top of your game and itching for something else? Ready to stand up for what YOU want and make it a reality? Wondering how you got where you are and wanting to press reset? These are the scenarios rising to the top of awareness that are ready to be addressed.

If they’re yours too, we should talk. The Now What?® program will help. Reach out to me or to one of our Now What?® facilitators, and let’s work together toward that tomorrow you want to create.