“Self-trust is the first secret of success.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang
There is a fascinating phenomenon going on that I have observed through conversations with clients, would-be clients and
being engaged on the internet. Well-educated, usually highly motivated people are paralyzed by the thought of sending out resumes and finding another job, even if they need to financially. Some of them are even medicated, under treatment for depression. You know, the symptoms—“if you have a loss of interest in things you usually enjoy for two weeks or more, tell your doctor…”
I am not surprised. I’m really not, but I know that the folks who are going through it are. They don’t recognize themselves. They don’t know the person who would not do whatever it took to meet their obligations and take care of their families and themselves. The turmoil caused by the disparity present many symptoms that might drive someone into therapy but that may not get to the root cause.
The source, in my humble opinion, is the daunting recognition that you paid a high price for the career or job you are now mourning and that you are so bruised by it that you do not want to go back as much as you think you should. You think you have no other option. You figuratively see graffiti everywhere that says: “NO WAY OUT!” Feeling paralyzed by the need to get back to work but the dread of going back to work is what likely threw you on the couch. The one at home and maybe the one at the shrink’s. But there is a way out and here is what I see that works for others and could work for you.
DARE TO SAY IT
Though our parents and grandparents may have never dreamed of happiness being criteria for choosing a job or career, it is very much part of who people are today. It’s OK to say so.
Dare to say out loud that you can’t go back from whence you came. It’s OK.
We can link the lack of physical and mental well being to a toxic workplace now and as much as someone might think we just need to ‘grow up and deal with it’, many people would rather stay on the couch than subject themselves to certain conditions.
GET MOVING AGAIN
Exercise, meet people for lunch, go to a museum—get your body moving again and be out in the world. After job loss, it’s fine to take some recovery time, but when recovery turns you into a wind up toy bouncing into the walls or eventually winding down to nothing, it’s time to MOVE. Any kind of movement will do but get out, move and be accountable somewhere.
DABBLE IN FICTION
Write down dream scenarios for your work. Drill down to what you really want as impossible as it may seem. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know how or if you have any connections to make it happen. All that matters is that you knock the truth out of your brain and get it out onto a page. Just as you dared to say what you couldn’t stand, you now have to dare to say what you do want as far-fetched as it may be.
RESEARCH THE IMPOSSIBLE
Now, take that ‘impossible dream’ and start talking to people who might know people who might know people who can help. Scour the internet and even call people you don’t know to find out how they’ve accomplished what they done. Do approach people in a professional manner ( I can’t believe I have to even say that, but you would not believe the inquiries I get sometimes! People barking orders like my phone was the drive-up window at McDonald’s!)
The way you start moving the tides away from your couch and back into the world of work is to get your energy back by surfing the waves of change and possibility. When you explore, you’ll be amazed at the solutions that might come your way. NO WAY OUT, become THIS WAY OUT, and even if the end result is only a small change from your last position, it will have come to be with a greater understanding of who you are and what you want. With that knowledge, you are much more likely to make good choices and attract better opportunities.
If you take these steps, hopefully, the next time you are on the couch is just to kick off your shoes after a great day at work! Good luck and let us know how we can help.
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“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Here are some things to keep in mind as you approach your job hunt. We especially like Tip #1: to consciously create a job-search strategy and Tip #7: to focus on monthly goals that are doable. If you have other tips from your own experience, we’d love to hear them.
“10 job-search tips for 2012.”
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“Believe with all of your heart that you will do what you were made to do.”Orison Swett Marden
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Today’s article includes 11 examples of career transition. In each story, we learn what motivated the person to make a change, how they did it, and what makes the new career satisfying. After skimming through these stories, try this for a fun exercise: Think of a field you might be interested in pursuing and then imagine yourself having made the change. If an article was being written about you as the career transitioner, what would it say under each of these headings:
- Why I did it
- How I did it
- Why I love it
Writing about yourself, as if the change already occurred, is bound to spark some insights and may very well inspire you to take action. Try it and let us know how it goes!
“I have the best job in America!”
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“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” Aristotle
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by Now What?® Coaching Founder, Laura Berman Fortgang
Speaking at a session of “Lives in Transition” a networking and support group north of New York City, I was inspired by the
resourcefulness of the participants. Many had started businesses or were charging for services to make money knowing that waiting for their respective industries to get back to hiring was not the smartest strategy.
It’s time to tell you about my “Little House on the Prairie Theory”. You see, for about a dozen years, I have not been able to shake the occasional vision of the aerial view of the town where the famous TV series took place. A long camera shot centered on the white church/schoolhouse in a dirt clearing that included the general store, the doctor’s office and a few other sundry buildings and businesses.
It was only a few years ago that I began to understand why I was seeing this image in my mind’s eye. I interpret its meaning to be a symbol for how we are somewhat moving backwards in time in the evolution of work. It’s coming around full circle. As more and more people are forced to reinvent, there seems to be a homecoming to varied skills, talents, gifts and strengths that are leading people back to selling their wares and focusing on their skill set the way an artisan would.
Does this mean that the best option in the slow recovery is to be in your own business? Not necessarily, but it does mean thinking like an artist when it comes to finding what is marketable about you. It may not be the same skill set that you’ve been making the theme of your resume. It may very well be something you loved in the past or that you do as a hobby or that is the sweet spot about whatever you did for employment in the past.
The key is leveraging that thing to make money. It may not be the same money you were used to, but it will put you on the path to recovery and only time will tell what else.
Martin B. did all the right things lining up his life as a young man to complete school and qualify for a corporate employee’s life. Having done so well compared to his family, he questioned his sanity when a job layoff had him considering other options for his future other than landing another corporate job. He thought he was nuts when he was fantasizing about making a career out of his love for the great outdoors. As luck would have it, someone he knew was selling a small resort in a mountainous area near by. He was not ready to invest so heavily but he also could not ignore the depth of the calling in his heart.
As I’ve seen with many people before, coincidences like the one above can scare the bejeezus out of people. Granted, there are many real considerations to making such a huge leap, but I cannot discount the timing of admitting to something you would love to do and having a possible opportunity suddenly pop up.
Martin started making more trips into nature and accepting invitations to travel that would keep him outdoors. The time in open space did a lot for reaching greater clarity and gaining resolve. No definite changes have happened yet, but I predict it’s just a matter of time.
I see more and more people being willing to make big changes to their lifestyles to live life doing something that is meaningful to them. Even if that’s not you, follow the clues to your next steps set out by those things that are truly unique to you. They are not in your life for no good reason. The reason is huge. It’s up to you if it’s compelling enough to take action on it.
Me and my wagon— we’ll be out in the Prairie waiting for you. After all, my name isn’t Laura for no reason.
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“Without inspiration and motivation the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.” Johann Gottfried Von Herder
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Interesting perspective here from “Dirty Jobs” host Mike Rowe, who suggests we rethink the definition of a good job. Perhaps opportunity is in the eye of the beholder.
“Job hunt 2012: It’s time to get dirty.”
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