Now What?® Coaching

from Laura Berman Fortgang

Now What? Newsletter Articles

This is a Call to Action!

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Whether it’s time to act in your business, your career, your family, your community, or the world stage, it’s time to put up or shut up.

It’s not a secret that I’ve become more politically involved in the last eighteen months. That is the impetus behind this post, but I won’t be launching into my opinions. Instead, I am writing this month’s message to prompt you to engage with the energy going on in the world right now. It applies to everyone no matter your preferences or core leanings. And it does not have to have anything to do with politics!

This is not a time to be passive. There has never been a better time to put your money where your mouth is. If you want to achieve a goal, now is the time to take courageous action. If you know you’re overdue to make a change, share your true feelings about someone or something or even declare a niche in your business. NOW IS THE TIME!

chaos calls for leadership. Your leadership.

WHY?
Chaos calls for leadership. If you stand on the sidelines waiting for things to settle down, you get eaten up by the changes. If you participate in the solution, you could still stand to lose, but at least you were not a bystander. Chances are, by leading, you will build your own path with others following because they didn’t know how to lead.

WHAT?
What you want to affect is up to you. Remember, to change something you’re likely going to have to first change minds. Build those relationships and supporters so that you are more likely to have influence.

HOW?
You just DO! Find a way. Begin with what makes sense to you and give it a try. If that doesn’t work, try again. This is not a time to give up hope.

Again, there is no one way. You show up. That’s how. Volunteer, disrupt, call someone you think you could never reach, write a blog, run your own event or program . Whatever it is, SHOW UP!

WHEN?
Now! Immediately. In less than 24 hours. Just now. Why? Because chaos calls for leadership – your leadership.

Trust that your showing up makes a difference because it does. Now, more than ever, we need what you have to bring to this party called life.

Career Transition and Depression

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Mental illness, suicide and depression have been everywhere on broadcast and online media in the last week due to the tragic deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. The reality of changing careers by choice or by force can put many of us on a shaky limb with our mental wellbeing. Let’s address some of the reasons why and some factors that can help steady the course of big changes.

Money + Uncertainty + Identity Crisis = Troubled Times

In my experience, money is the first factor that shakes one’s stability in the career transition journey. Even people with ample savings or the ability to start retirement (although not their preference) get anxious about finances when facing a change in job or direction.

Career Transition and DepressionAdd uncertainty which in and of itself can set people off. Then throw in the identity crisis which creeps in from even considering giving up a role that has defined for decades, and you have a fertile breeding ground for emotional disruption. Change, for most people, is no picnic. But, that doesn’t have to be a deterrent to making one.

Richard came to work with me recently after being let go from a high paying job. He had enough money to retire if he had to, but he wanted a few more years of earning a top income to feel more secure. The opportunities, however, were not showing up and the truth was, we discovered, he had no motivation to pursue them. He was feeling down.

The lack of motivation was due to really wanting to do something more fulfilling, but he didn’t see any way for his interests to equate to any salary remotely close to what he was making. The result? Complete paralysis.

Enter: Coaching!

Through the Now What?® Life Story process Richard began to see what he wanted to weave back into his life. However, his mood did not automatically improve. He still found more reasons to doubt a happy outcome than to believe in one, and he couldn’t see beyond his doubt. Music and songwriting was a long-gone passion that he wanted back in his life, but he knew he was not going to be a more than-middle-aged rock star so just as quickly as some excitement showed up, his spirits were quickly dampened.

Before one particular session, I had an intuitive inkling to mention to Richard an idea about an artistic space where music recording, lessons, and performances could all take place. As soon as I did, the light bulbs started going off! One thing led to another, and as I write this he is exploring a few opportunities to do something along these lines. Some already existed and others he would need to raise some funds for (which he can certainly do)! He also took on another creative project or two , and his spirits are lifting tremendously.

Richard and his wife decided to downsize their home to make their finances more comfortable. And, as sometimes happens, an opportunity to do some of his old work without a stressful full-time job showed up as well. Things are still in flux, but the darkness has dissipated. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

How do you do this yourself?

First, don’t go down the path of thinking that he has money and you don’t. I’ve seen results like this without financial freedom. Secondly, decide which “wolf to feed.”* Do you want to keep dwelling in dread or do you want to invest in possibilities – things that just may work out?

Like all my clients, once clear on some possible angles, Richard took small step after small step to talk to people, network, ask questions, and follow the leads where they took him. You can do this too.

Here are a few tips:
● Take extra good care of yourself—sleep, drink plenty of water, eat right, take walks, whatever is right for you, do it.
● Gather support—don’t go at it alone. Engage someone to hold you accountable, have cheerleaders, join a group of like-minded folks and make it happen together.
● Maintain rituals– the things in your life that work and comfort you and do more of them, whether it’s journaling, exercising, weekly dinner with particular people, etc.
● Take small steps—Small steps are more easily attainable, they get you moving forward, and when they bear fruit, they encourage you to take more.

To keep emotions and fears from eating you up, to navigate the lack of structure that comes from being out of work, and to stay mentally fit, try some of the above. If you’re suffering or feel afraid of your own feelings, please do get help. Here are some helpful resources for those in need.

National Institute of Mental Health 1-866-615-6464
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

*http://www.virtuesforlife.com/two-wolves/

How Powerless Are You?

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Richie had a high-powered job in the financial industry. He’d been “between things” for three years when he came to coach with me. He was stuck in circular thinking that left him with only one choice that tortured him.
He kept looking for another job in the same field, although there was no traction. He saw no other way. In his mind, nothing else was possible, and he felt powerless to change that.
Except . . .

Truth be told, Richie wanted to get back to his roots as a musician and lead a more creative life. He wasn’t willing to start living off his retirement savings (although he could), and the odds of becoming a rock star were slim. He declared it a dead end.

However . . .

Before one of our sessions, in my mind’s eye, I imagined a studio space where lessons, recording, small performances and a jovial musical play space could all coexist.

I shared that with Richie and sparks flew. He knew people he could talk to, and off he went! What he found was that such places already existed, and that some of his contacts were open to investing in something like this.

Which one was the dead end? The new road or being stalled on the old road? The final destination is not wrapped up yet, but the momentum has been carrying Richie to new possibilities that will pay him. Not at finance industry rates, but likely enough to leave his savings intact for now.

So now, I challenge you, dear reader.

How powerless are you? Are you truly powerless or are you simply unwilling to jump into the wave of uncertainty? Like the old Robert Frost quote says: “The only way out is through.”

The only way to know is to dive in. Explore, make inroads, and assess from inside an idea. It’s so much easier to discover from this vantage point rather than from the outside where it’s protected in a glass cloche that makes it impossible to touch.

As I say in “Now What?,” you don’t have to decide. Life will tell you if you’re wrong. Explore a path. If it gains traction, it has merit. Finances will, of course, be a factor, but you have to be honest with yourself.

You may not WANT to begin touching your retirement, or you may not WANT to invest in yourself to get on your feet in a new endeavor, but if you CAN, why keep pursuing the path that hurts you mentally, emotionally and spiritually?

For those who can’t even fathom the thought of living without immediate income, this does not mean the end of the road for you. It means that you will want to include aspects of the newfound direction in whatever you do next.

It means that you are back in touch with your “Life Blueprint,” or your unique way of contributing to the world that will bring you the most satisfaction. It MUST be included in some way.

It’s not what you do for a living that will make you happy. It’s who your job allows you to be.
Let us know how we can support you to make it happen. We’re here cheering you on!

MAKE IT STOP! What To Do If You Have That Nagging Feeling

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That nagging feeling? What nagging feeling?
Oh! You mean that one?! The one where I really know I need to make a move or change something, and I just don’t?!

Yeah, that one.

TalktoHand304x300The only way to make it stop is to do something about it.

It’s funny. If you don’t take action when you know you should, life will take care of it for you. You know you hate your job and need to move on but do nothing about it? Don’t act shocked and dismayed when you get let go.

Or perhaps you really can’t stand a client, but endure it to get the paycheck and then something goes horribly wrong and you have to refund all their money? Yeah, you should not have ignored that.

I’m in one of those right now. I knew I had to leave an organization that sends me on the road to do small speaking engagements. I kept telling Kelly, my awesome righthand woman, that I’m leaving the group, but I didn’t pull the plug because I decided to wait until I finished one more commitment and get paid so I can give notice.

Well, wouldn’t you know, they are weeks behind in paying me and it’s the first time EVER I’ve had trouble getting paid by them. It was time to go a year ago and I didn’t listen.

How many times have you done that?

Whether It’s changing jobs, leaving a relationship, or speaking a long-held truth to a friend (or family member), once you know the truth, it’s better to act on it. There really is no better time than the present.

FEEL

DISCERN

ACT
FEEL
You know the feeling. You’ve had it. That little nudge, that nagging boulder, whatever form it comes in is the impetus to gain awareness.
DISCERN
Slow down. Pay attention. What is this feeling?

Am I unhappy? Am I bored? Do I know what I need to ask for? What’s missing? Do I need to take radical action or does a small adjustment need to be made?

ACT
Do it. Don’t linger on it. Ask. Research. Discuss with trusted people. And ACT!

I put off my action because I didn’t want to disappoint the person who kindly brought me in to the organization. I needed to trust that is wasn’t right for me and take the risk of being judged for it. I wish I had not waited. But alas!

If you’re not sure what to do or even if you are perceiving your nudge as a call to change something, join me for our FREE Now What?® Community Call on WED. March 14th, 9pm eastern.

RegisterNow

3 Signs that Your Career Search Will Tank

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Experience helps us to easily recognize patterns. Recently, I’ve seen a scenario enough times to know exactly how things were going to go. I’m here to warn you that if you’re going down a career transition path or completely looking for a career reboot, there are some dead ends you’ll want to avoid.

resumeHere are three red flags (of many) that tell me in a free consultation I won’t get results with an individual and that their strategy for finding a place to land will tank. I know this because when I refer these people on to someone else to try to get what they want, they inevitably come back to me later when they didn’t get it.

“I want a list of fields that are hiring.”

Yes, and I’d like to winning numbers to the $300 million POWERBALL prize! This is not a strategy for success.

You may land a job. You may be able to cross that chore off your list, but you’ll be at it again very soon when the pick off the list doesn’t engage you in any way. Looking for the easy way, the way that “makes sense,” does not make sense if you truly want to find a good fit.

“I want contacts for recruiters who can place me in a job.”

That sounds reasonable. Having relationships with recruiters who are looking for matches for openings in your field is a good thing. However, when people ask to be connected to them, they are often operating under a false assumption. That assumption is that the recruiter will give a damn.

Recruiters don’t work for you. They work for the company looking to fill a position. They won’t take the time (nor can they) to nurture you or amend your resume unless you fit exactly what they need at the moment you contact them.

If you fit what they were looking for and you’re on LinkedIn, they would have contacted you already! Recruiters are to be included in a thorough search, but they are not the answer you may think they are.

“I need help with my resume and marketing. What I have isn’t working.”

This can be a very legitimate issue, but I’d put it in the “barking up the wrong tree” category when someone tells me they’ve been at the job search for a long time. When the doors are not opening after a worthy set of attempts, it’s not the resume that’s the problem. It could be changes in the industry or maybe the way you’re presenting yourself, but most likely, what it means is that you have to pivot and do something else.

Each of these markers tell me that you want a Magic Bullet. You want someone to give you the answer, the magical formula, that will allow you to sidestep the hard work and pain that it may well take to find a truly satisfying landing place.

Satisfaction doesn’t come from the job itself. Even the great financial relief of having a job won’t solve the soon-to-be drudgery that lurks around the corner when you settle for any old job.

Satisfaction comes in a job that plays to your strengths, stretches you, and gives you an opportunity to master something that matters to you. Satisfaction comes from who your job will allow you to be. None of the above strategies are likely to get you there.

If you’re wishing for a magic bullet (and, let’s be honest, most of us are), let us help you get to the real issue instead. You need to know what you want, and it becomes much easier to get it when you do!

One in Hand, One in the Other Hand, One Pie in the Sky

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Having your choice of jobs at the start of the new year is a lucky place to be, but when none of them screams YES at you, how do you choose?

This was the situation a coaching client found himself in recently – an employed manager presented with a new job opportunity. He’d been looking for a new job since the summer of 2017 after completing the Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction work with me.

choices513x278In hand was the current job (which will end in a couple of months) where bitterness and backstabbing palpably taint the atmosphere. In the other hand was a new job, carefully vetted to be a good cultural fit. However, he was not totally thrilled with the product the company produced.
Nothing contrary to his values. Just not exciting. The third choice was to go jobless and wait for the ideal job opportunity. Preliminary research revealed the ideal was not readily available in the area, and relocation was not an option.

So, he can stay put and keep searching amidst the looming black plague while holding out for the perfect job. Or, he can take the new job which checks many boxes, but not all. What would you do?

Do you know your criteria for happiness? My client and I worked on uncovering his, and the new job met a lot of the criteria.

Are you clear on what you ultimately want to be known for? Can it come from the new position? If so, there’s a chance of having the impact you want to have. It might take time and trust-building, but in a culture that values connectivity and ideas, it is possible.

I don’t know yet what this client will decide, but I can tell you what struck me. If you’ve read my work, you know I believe in the ideal. I believe in full expression of your capabilities and desires. With that said, I also understand that searching for a job while unemployed can be very isolating. It’s easy to get derailed.

In this instance, a place where the culture is a fit and the atmosphere is light and collegial, the likelihood of having a healthier mindset, geared for creativity and good work is strong. Staying put in a toxic environment while holding out for the ideal, which could take many months to find, could be stifling.

What I know to be true is that when our nerves are no longer frayed and our mornings are energetic because we look forward to seeing the people we work with, we are a different kind of human. We are someone who can contribute with greater connection and creativity. From this space, we can step into an unknown worth exploring.

The new job could become the ideal as your influence grows, or it can be exactly what shows you the next better opportunity. It may not be possible to see that NOW without this next experience.

Nothing is ever a waste. I’d choose good energy over stagnation and bitterness every time. The answer will come if we give it a fertile place to germinate and to grow.

In hand, in the other hand, in the sky … which would you choose?

If you are due to press the restart button on your career, join me January 16th at 1pm Eastern for a free video conference call where I’ll help you discover where to look to find these answers.