Now What? Facilitator Grads

Why It’s Time to Unmask

By Laura Berman Fortgang on November 10, 2024

Want to know one of the best ways (by far!) to improve your life, career, and business?

Stop faking it.

Stop putting on an act. Pretending to be someone you’re not isn’t working as well as you think . . .

We’ve been conditioned to believe people will like us better if they perceive us a certain way — successful, rich, sophisticated, charismatic, funny.

Sometimes we think the only way they’ll accept, hire, or promote us is if we share the same interests, hold the same beliefs, and agree on the topic at hand, so we go along with whatever it is to get along. People choose everything from clothing and hairstyles to cars and hobbies just to fit in.

We bend, twist and wear a mask — all in an effort to show up as the most well-received version of ourselves. And the most frightening thing about this mask . . . is taking it off!

Unmasking is shedding your protective gear, making the real you more vulnerable to judgment, criticism, and disapproval.

If the idea of showing up as your true authentic self terrifies you, you’re not alone. Letting your guard down and letting people see you as you can be scary. What if you get rejected? Ignored? Laughed at? Ostracized?

The fear is real, and it isn’t something that typically resolves on its own. If you’re struggling to show up authentically, try —

Journaling about it; put your feelings down on paper.

Talking about it with someone you trust; open up and connect.

Working with a therapist to get to the bottom of what’s holding YOU back.

Dropping the mask isn’t easy, but it’s worth it.

When you live as your authentic self in everything you do, life is less stressful. You’ll realize you were just wasting tons of time and effort putting on an act.

Only you can be you. YOU is what enhances your personal brand like nothing else.

Things like wearing bold, colorful glasses, having a nose ring, and stepping on stage to speak in sneakers are ME. Keeping it real and saying what needs to be said is ME. Showing up as my authentic self boosts my confidence and helps me stand out. What’s YOU?

Be seen, Heard, and the person that the world needs.

You were designed perfectly just the way you are, and your contributions to the world matter. We’re all waiting to experience more of YOU!

How to Sell without the ICK

By Laura Berman Fortgang on October 13, 2024

This isn’t easy, but it can’t be avoided.

I talk to smart, talented, capable people who find themselves stuck every day, and almost every one of them has this one thing in common.

They want to grow a business or accomplish the next big step in their career. They are go-getters and have a lot going for them. But this one thing keeps holding them back – perhaps you can relate –

They hate selling. Most people do.

Sure, we all know someone born with the ability to sell sand in the desert, but they’re the exceptional few.

The majority of us find sales to be icky.

Because when someone tries to sell us a product or a service using a high-pressure, manipulative, slimy approach, we walk away from that experience covered in ick. And we don’t want to be someone who spews ick.

But you’re not an icky person.

You’re someone who stands behind your product, someone with solutions to offer, someone who solves problems and gets results.

Whether you’re interviewing for a job, making a pitch, or looking to close a deal, what you’re putting on the table is the answer to another person’s needs or desires. A transformation or positive outcome will occur if they take you up on your invitation.

I get it. To say selling yourself isn’t easy is an understatement, but if you have any ambitions, you have to get over the ick.

Remember, sales scenarios can be disconcerting — for both you and the other person! Your success is on the line. They’re on the defensive. And you’re each sensing a threat, which can trigger “fight or flight” mode.

The best way to think of selling is that you’re doing someone a service. A key part of that service is helping them feel comfortable — by having conversations, asking good questions, welcoming objections, guiding decisions, and reassuring the other person that you have their best interests at heart. There’s nothing icky about that.

Getting better at selling isn’t something you can avoid, but you can avoid the ick.

More Lessons From My Hobby

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 29, 2024

Over the past year or so, I’ve started a new hobby.

And I think this one might surprise you: I’m flipping furniture! (unless you’ve been around and read my previous article on this.)

You read that right. Here I am — a busy business owner, coaching executives and entrepreneurs — and I’ve made time for something entirely new that has nothing to do with my business.

Highly recommended: 10/10

Not only do I enjoy this hobby, but I’m also learning a great deal from it.

If you’re not familiar with furniture flipping, it’s when you take an outdated piece or lackluster antique nobody wants, and give it a second life. I either refurbish it back to its original beauty or update it with a whole new look.

I’m having a blast, and here’s something interesting I’ve noticed —

Furniture flipping is highly creative, fun, and incredibly satisfying. But most of the work is in the preparation — fixing and re-fixing cracks, stripping, sanding, and priming.

It’s 90% hard work and 10% art, which is a great analogy for owning a business or creating success in anything worthwhile.

We’re passionate about delivering the coaching, training, speaking, or product — that signature thing you enjoy most. But 90% of business is the marketing, sales, operations, tech, and management — the prep work. And let’s be honest; sometimes it feels like a whole lot of drudgery. (Maybe that’s why it’s called ‘work’!)

But to be successful in business requires a willingness to put in that prep work — with enthusiasm! You have to be willing to prepare and prepare and prepare before you get to deliver your art.

This may have come as a surprise when you started your business. Or you may be you’re even in a job search. However, it doesn’t take long to realize there’s mountains of prep work to be done before you get to the fun part.

The challenge becomes making the hard work fun.

Here’s what I mean —

When I’m working on a piece of furniture, something often sets me back right before I get to the best part. I’m mixing my paint, looking forward to watching the smooth new finish come to life, and I notice another crack…which means adding more filler, sanding, and priming all over again.

I can label these setbacks as a pain in the ‘you know what’ or I can choose to embrace them as part of the journey. Settling in, focusing on what’s right in front of you in the moment, and rolling with the obstacles will help you feel more aligned and full of purpose.

The final product is always better because you took good care to do it right and gave it the attention it deserved.

So, my advice is to expect the hiccups, stumbling blocks, and complications along the way. Recognize it all as integral to your craft and key to delivering the goods.

How can you fall in love with the 90% before you get to the fun and most rewarding part?

The Secret to Better Decision Making

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 15, 2024

If you’re feeling stuck in your career or business, it’s usually because you’re having trouble deciding which move to make.

“Should I do this? Or should I do that?”

High achievers know that indecision is the enemy of progress; swift, confident decisions are the path to success. In my experience, to say good decision making is underrated is an understatement.

You might be thinking I’m going to tell you it’s time to brush up on your critical thinking. Well, think again! Or better yet, don’t think again . . .

While being analytical obviously has its merits and place, there’s more to good decision making than what makes logical sense.

Rather than relying solely on deductive reasoning, good decisions often come from paying close attention to how you feel. The left brain tends to use all the data it’s gathered to steer you in the safest direction, keeping you close to shore and far from where you want to be. Sometimes it’s better to go with your gut.

Here’s what I mean —

Last week, I was working with one of my entrepreneur clients, and she was trying to figure out her next move. She owns multiple businesses and was considering several lucrative opportunities on the table.

But nothing about her business excited her anymore. The spreadsheets were shouting at her to stay the course, but she could no longer see herself happy or fulfilled by remaining at the helm.

Logically, it makes sense for her to stick with it, especially through the uncertain economy. But energetically, she’d already abandoned ship. She decided to sell.

And let me tell you . . .

The relief she felt at that moment was palpable. Right away, I could see that a weight lifted and her energy shifted. Within minutes, she started to talk about what she really wanted to do next — in a future that looks bright and much more aligned with who she is now.

I’ve made similar moves in my own career — where the logical decision would’ve been to take the conventional, safer route, such as signing a big corporate coaching client contract. Instead, I tuned into the energy and recognized that move wasn’t right for me at that moment.

What happened next? Soon afterward, the publishing opportunities that exploded my career landed in my lap. I didn’t know this would happen; it wasn’t even on my radar. I simply felt that taking on that other commitment wasn’t right. If I’d gone the logical route, I would’ve missed the door I walked through toward the future I desired and the success I’ve enjoyed.

I followed the energy, not the logic.

Time and again, over the years, I’ve experienced and observed this:

Logic will stop you and energy will free you.

The next time you have a decision to make . . .

Don’t just dwell on the pros and cons or the possibility that you could be making a mistake. Instead, focus on how it feels.

Where’s the energy? Where is the excitement? There’s your answer.

Assume Equality and Respect Seniority

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 8, 2024

If you know me, you know how much I love the theater. I was in my element last week when I saw Suffs on Broadway, which is a musical based on the American women’s suffrage movement.

And if you really know me, you know I see the lesson in everything. So much of what we experience in one aspect of life applies to another. The storyline of a production one hundred years in the making had much to offer.

Of the many topics explored, one stood out to me because I found it rather relevant to the business world these days — the young guard vs. the old guard.

What happened when the more radical activists came up against those who’d been around awhile? The youngsters were all fired up while the more experienced among them tried to temper enthusiasm with established wisdom.

Sound familiar?

We’ve all heard some version of “this is how we do things around here” before. I don’t know about you, but it always seems stagnant and backward to me.

In many work environments, senior leaders often shut down innovative ideas, viewing them as disruptive and stifling potential winners.

If you think I’m saying out with the old, in with the new — bring the bulldozers — think again.

Instead, I say assume equality, but respect seniority. Here’s what I mean.

If you cower to those in charge and make yourself small and docile, you’ll never earn their respect. But if you buck authority full steam without recognizing who’s in charge, why, and what moves them, it will prove much more difficult to get the outcome you want.

You’re better off knowing when to work within the rules and when to break them.

When I was on The Oprah Winfrey Show earlier in my career, I was told Oprah doesn’t like a weak guest. I was told to get in there and stand my ground without stepping on her toes.

I had to assume equality, but respect seniority. I was able to break through fear and intimidation to work alongside her and establish my own ground.

Where are you trying to break through the status quo?
How will assuming equality help you?
How will respecting seniority help you?

Answering these questions can take you a long way toward where you want to go.

Why Joy Matters to Your Success (and How to Enjoy More)

By Laura Berman Fortgang on September 1, 2024

If you’ve been paying attention, there’s been a lot of buzz around the word “joy” over the past couple of weeks. It has even come up in my work with clients.

Why is this, and what does it even mean?

Let’s face it – many people feel devoid of joy these days, like we’ve been robbed of something.

Joy is missing. We sense it, even if we can’t quite point to exactly why.

There’s a difference between what we think of as happiness, and what we view as joy. It’s all along the same spectrum, but one clearly outshines the other.

When you’re happy, you’re content. All things considered – life is good. You’re feeling pretty positive about what’s going on in your world.

Joy, on the other hand, is exuberant. A delight! You’re so full of pleasure in that moment that it’s overflowing.

Think about how you enJOY an experience or enJOY a meal. It’s a real treat! In fact you’re “IN” joy in that moment.

However, many of us find joyful moments hard to come by lately.

We can point to a laundry list of reasons and scapegoats: the uncertainty, the economy, the lack of unity, the politics, the loneliness, the comparison (the thief of joy) . . .

The reality is that joy is an inside job. Certain conditions make enjoyment easier, of course — not denying that! But don’t forget that some people, even in the most miserable of conditions, exude joy.

I challenge you to consider the following:

You are very likely robbing yourself of joy.
You may worry about things you can’t ultimately control.
You may be allowing someone else to overlook you or put you down.
You may let yourself get roped into drama that’s little more than a distraction.
You may be so intent on creating joy for others that you neglect your own needs.

I want to remind you that you have the power and resources to bring joy back into your life.

Maybe you don’t like your job. You can find moments of joy in what you do — by looking around, shifting your perspective, practicing gratitude, or focusing on a bigger why.

Perhaps things are tough in your business right now. You can experience moments of joy — no matter how fleeting – in creation, through connection, and deciding your next steps.

You can enjoy the moment. You can be IN joy.