Category: oe-top

  • Joy: A Survival Tactic

    Joy: A Survival Tactic

    You don’t need an update from me about the state of the world.

    We can all agree that there’s a lot going on and much of it is concerning. I almost added, “. . . if you’re paying attention” out of habit, but I can’t tell you the last time I spoke to someone who wasn’t on edge.

    You might not need an update from me, but there’s a good chance you could use an uplift.

    You’re in for a real treat because I have a lifetime of worrying experience! I’m good at overthinking my way straight into worst-case scenarios.

    But you can see I haven’t let it hold me back. The truth is, I’ve relied upon many different coping tactics over the years. However, when things started getting nasty, fear tried to take hold.

    As a coach, I’m surrounded by positive thinkers; it’s a perk of the job. I kept hearing them say, “I’m not going to let this steal my joy.” I understood it intellectually; it just didn’t seem practical. I look for strategies to implement – things I can work on, step-by-step.

    Joy is a feeling, an emotion. It’s something intangible, and I wasn’t convinced I could simply claim it on demand. So I worked on it . . .

    Here’s what I understand now —

    When we don’t have control over what’s going on around us, it’s our natural inclination to look for what we CAN control. It’s how we’re wired as human beings.

    But when we consider what we DO have power over, emotions are at the top of that list. Sure, they can take over briefly, but we’re ultimately in charge from moment to moment.

    We have the power to feel joy in almost any moment.

    Claiming joy doesn’t mean we’re in a constant state of happiness. We can take delight or pleasure in something, even if the feeling is fleeting. Appreciating that instant can be an impetus for survival.

    Think about each moment of joy as a driving force; the motivation that propels you to endure and overcome challenges. Consider joyful moments as momentum.

    What’s one small thing you can do each day to experience joy?

    Writing in a journal, riding a bike, playing with your pet, putting your feet in the grass, taking up a new hobby. It must be something personal to you.

    As for me, I’ve decided to start singing again! I was a musical theater performer for many years, so I’m dusting off the old vocal cords, practicing in the car every day, and going on an audition – simply for the joy of it! (I’m not sure I even want the part. I just want to sing for people!)

    Now it’s your turn. I challenge you to do one thing each day to claim your joy.

    Joy is a survival tactic, and it’s a powerful one!

  • How to Get Better at Operating in a Crisis

    How to Get Better at Operating in a Crisis

    Don’t take this the wrong way, but we are in crisis.

    What I mean by this is, as human beings, we’re in crisis — often.

    I’m not trying to bum you out here, just facing facts. The human condition includes the positives and negatives of the human experience.

    The reality is we’re in trouble sometimes. At times (like now!), it seems we’re in a lot of trouble.

    Lately, you may feel like you’re seeing a crisis everywhere you look — in your personal life, the lives of your loved ones, in politics, on the news: storms, wildfires, plane crashes, leadership decisions, family emergencies, business mishaps, technological glitches, economic downturns . . . you name it!

    You might be thinking, “Tell me something I don’t know!” So here goes . . .

    We have to get better at crisis management. Not just the head honchos in charge, but every single one of us. We can’t just expect “somebody” to do something. How?

    1. Start by dealing with what’s REAL. There is no need to catastrophize and make the crisis bigger than it already is by projecting the “worst case scenario” into the atmosphere. What’s actually happening right in front of you? (there is plenty of REAL bad stuff–just don’t make it worse.)
    2. Focus on what you CAN do. What can you control? That’s where you look; it’s where you take action.
    3. Keep things in perspective. Remaining calm matters. We don’t do our best thinking in a chaotic brain.

    Take one thing at a time. One day at a time. That is not to make light of anything that is going on personally for you or in the US and the world.

    Use your imagination for solutions, not for worsening the problem.

  • Does Life Keep Lifeing at You?

    Does Life Keep Lifeing at You?

    Do you ever feel like you can’t catch a break?
    Like one thing after another keeps going wrong?

    As soon as you recover from a disaster, hardship, or challenge, something else threatens to throw you off track again.

    Life keeps lifeing at you.

    Over the past month, I’ve been dealing with —
    A child hospitalized with a terrible autoimmune disease.
    A sibling affected by the California fires.
    Friends and family impacted by all sorts of chaotic events.

    And I know I’m not the only one. Life has been lifeing at me, at many of my clients, and people I speak with daily. There’s a lot going on!

    But no matter what’s going on in your life and the world around you, the show must go on.

    We have work to do. Businesses to run. Families to care for. Households to manage.

    You’re not alone if you ever feel like you have no idea how you get through it all.

    Here’s what I suggest.

    1. Surrender

    Surrendering doesn’t mean lying down, rolling over, and letting life walk all over you. It means accepting that sometimes there’s not a darn thing you can do to stop what’s happening. Trouble has come knocking, and you have to face it.

    2. Set Priorities

    You can only do so much on any given day. Be highly selective about what gets your attention and effort. Focus only on one thing at a time — the thing that will make the most significant difference.

    3. Practice Self Care

    Crisis mode isn’t the time for spa days, but you must take care of yourself. Set boundaries. For example, preserve your energy and time by limiting status updates to concerned loved ones to once daily.

    If you’re dealing with difficult stuff right now, my heart is with you.

    Whether grappling with the hectic pace of every day or facing tragic devastation (or both!), life can be hard on the nervous system.

    Successful coping requires calm.

    Remember: Surrender. Set priorities. Practice self-care.

  • How to Start a Network from Scratch

    How to Start a Network from Scratch

    When I started my coaching practice, I didn’t have a network.

    I was an actress and a waitress with friends in the theater world, but I didn’t know anyone in business — nobody whatsoever to pay me for what I was trained to do.

    In other words, I started from scratch. Maybe you can relate.

    Things were tougher back then without social media, but there was also less noise. Even today, building a following isn’t the same as building a network you can tap into.

    So what did I do? And what do I recommend my clients do now — whether starting a business or navigating a career?

    1. Get out there!

    Hiding behind your screen won’t cut it. You need to get to know people, look them in the eye, and spend some time together. (Introverts, this includes you!)
    Meet people in person. Join industry groups, clubs, masterminds, or religious and civic organizations. Attend events, conferences, or workshops. The goal is to get face-to-face and let them get to know you.

    2. Don’t just show up; really show up.

    Be a giver. Contribute your time and skills.
    Volunteer, serve on committees, and sign up to be a speaker. Find opportunities to be seen, interact with people, and make it known that you’re reliable, trustworthy, and have something valuable to offer.

    3. Connect wisely.

    Use social media strategically. On LinkedIn, focus on building connections with people who could benefit from your expertise and whose knowledge can help you grow.

    Will these tips immediately lead to clients or job offers? Probably not. But everyone knows somebody, and this is how you get started.

    It’s never too late, and you’re never too old. But the sooner you begin, the better prepared you’ll be when you need a network.

    It’s not about who you know; it’s about who knows you. Get out there and make it happen.

  • The Great Post-Holiday Reset

    The Great Post-Holiday Reset

    We’ve all hit the ground running this week, back to work, ready to take on the new year with gusto … right? Okay, maybe not.

    The holidays are a welcome break from business as usual. But let’s face it, the season’s festivities rarely offer much respite. Even if you had a chance to do a little hibernating, rolling out of bed and into the swing of things can be tough.

    With the merriment over and the downtime behind us, you may even find yourself with a case of the post-holiday blues.

    But we have stuff to do — obstacles to tackle, dreams to chase, and goals to achieve in 2025. It’s time to go after what you’re here to do!

    We can’t let the winter doldrums sabotage our plans.

    Here’s what I don’t recommend: New Year’s resolutions. As a coach, I can tell you they don’t work. Artificial fluff. Temporary distractions.

    Instead, I suggest you do this:The Great Post-Holiday Reset by Laura Berman Fortgang

      1. Pick a “back to normal” date. Accept that being back to work doesn’t mean being back to normal. When are you really going to kick things off? Be honest (and gentle) with yourself.
      2. Keep the party going. Add some festivities for this month. Gather with friends, go see a show, or take a little day trip. Give yourself something to look forward to in January.
      3. Face your finances. Did the holiday magic go over budget or add some debt? Don’t let it weigh on you; put a plan in place to tackle it.
      4. Get some sun. Even if it’s cold outside, the Vitamin D will do you good. Pick up an artificial sunlight lamp if you have to. I keep mine right on my desk.
      5. Move your body. You don’t need to hit the overcrowded gym this month or do anything extreme. Make it fun.
      6. Connect with people. Loneliness can get the best of us in the winter if we let it, but we’re social animals (even you introverts!) Make the effort to get together with friends and loved ones and meet new people.
      7. Give yourself grace. Acknowledge the post-holiday winter blues if you have them, and remember that this is temporary. Spring will be here before you know it.
    In other words, the key to a good post-holiday reset is good self-care. You’ve got this! I look forward to seeing what you accomplish this year.

  • Which Wolf  Will Win?

    Which Wolf Will Win?

    Which Wolf Will Win?

    We’ve all been dealing with the news of what’s happening in the world around us lately, and it hasn’t always been easy.

    Some are pleased, devastated, celebrating, sulking, some victorious, defeated, encouraged, and some are weary.

    Very few are indifferent. We’re swimming in a sea of duality.

    We have light, we have dark. Good, bad. Love, fear. The push and pull feels like it’s spinning us in circles, not knowing where to turn.

    How do we get through this?

    I suggest learning to hold both. Accept duality.

    The conversations I’ve been hearing remind me of a lesson shared in a Native American parable, perfect for this moment — a story attributed to the Cherokee people called “The Two Wolves.”

    A grandfather tells his grandson of two wolves existing within him.

    One wolf is filled with negative emotions — anger and hate, wishing harm upon his enemies.

    The other wolf represents the positive — joy, serenity, and doing no harm.

    The young listener asked the elder which wolf wins.

    His answer: “The one I feed.”

    The way forward is to decide which wolf to feed.

    Will you head toward the light? Will you embrace your community and do what’s right?

    Duality will always exist. We can all make our best attempt to carry both: darkness and light, good and evil, fear and love.

    Whatever the situation, whether you’re reveling in great news or reeling from a kick in the gut, try embracing duality and deciding which wolf to feed.

    You don’t have to betray your values; look deeply within.

    What’s next for each of us?

    As for me, I’m pretty quiet right now weighing how to continue to feed joy and to strive to spread love in everything I do.