Now What?® Coaching

Tag: new direction

  • Holy Wow. Another Year. Can This One Really Be Different?

    Holy Wow. Another Year. Can This One Really Be Different?

    What am I going to say? Of course, I’m going to say YES. Yes, it can.

    There will always be circumstances beyond our control, and we will simultaneously have free will. Let’s put it to work.

    I’m sitting down to write this after a local business morning networking group on the very first business day of the year. I had joined a couple of months back and was “giving it a chance.”

    Holy Wow. Another Year. Can This One Really Be Different? by Laura Berman FortgangAfter more than two years of COVID isolation, I wanted to see people again and play closer to home. However, this morning it was very clear that I was not investing my time and energy in something that is worth “giving a chance” to, despite my best efforts.

    I had all the evidence I needed: small-minded, scarcity mindset from a member fearing competition, broken agreements with me by another member, and finally, shoddy work on display from another. All in the scope of two and a half weeks.

    There was a time where I may have waited things out for several months, or where I would be starting to miss meetings instead of telling the truth about what was not in alignment for me.

    If you can relate and you’re wondering if you should stay with a group, a company, or even a relationship, take a look at some ways to shift your perspective that might be helpful:

    Where do you retreat? Where do you advance? Keep this in mind as you make decisions.​
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    You can make this a different year, just by being willing to put up with less nonsense. That’s what I’m doing. Care to join me?

  • The Stages of Grief When Changing Careers (By choice or by force)

    The Stages of Grief When Changing Careers (By choice or by force)

    Losing a job or choosing to change gears because you’re miserable in your current role, can bring on grief and mourning like the loss of a loved one. That’s probably not surprising if you’ve been suddenly let go, but it may be news to you if you are choosing to move on.

    I’m currently working with someone who saw very quickly in our process that leaving their job and current career was no longer a pipe dream but rather, a “must.”

    We determined the criteria for happiness* in a career for them. They determined areas of interesting employment that fit that criteria, and then, when there were a couple of obstacles, grief kicked in. They had stepped out into the abyss of the unknown and it was emotionally intense.

    If you are working through the morass of change, walk through Kubler-Ross’ stages of grief with me. Knowing the stages, will help you recover from them more easily. You’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re grieving and fearful or maybe someone you love is.

    • Denial, numbness, and shock: Checking out mentally to not feel pain is a common coping mechanism. For those of you who know you’re in a job you hate, you likely go numb just to get through the day. Perhaps you’re even in denial that it’s time to move on because it’s scary to face and unknown and all the work it takes to find the next step.
    • Bargaining: You may be playing over in your mind what you could’ve done differently to not have been fired or downsized or perhaps you’re making deals with yourself that if you can last two (five, ten, fifteen) more years, you’ll finally do or have that thing you’ve been putting off so it’s worth staying.This stage is holding off reality with all your might. If you catch yourself bargaining, realize what’s really going on.
    • Depression: Everything is real and registering emotionally now. You might feel helpless or like you’re rolling in a wave in the ocean that has overtaken you and you’re not sure how you’ll get out.Practice being patient with yourself. You are grieving, after all. Get professional help from a therapist if depression persists. Professionals recommend seeking help if symptoms persist more than two weeks.
    • Anger: Heck yes, there will be anger! You didn’t ask (or plan) to be without a job or disrupting the status quo of your life and livelihood! You have every reason to be mad.If you are leaving a position or career by choice, having surprise setbacks, or hitting obstacles to getting to your new destination can frustrate you and maybe even make you angry at yourself for leaving a ‘sure’ thing. You’ll likely get made and question the whole attempt.Do not despair! This is normal. Hopefully, you can start to channel that anger into determination instead of defeat.
    • Acceptance: In time, we assimilate the loss. Whether it’s the loss of the job itself, the identity that came with it, the stability you mourn or the people you used to be with almost every day, you will reconcile with reality and find a path forward.
    Grief is serious emotional work, and it can take its toll on you. Seek professional help if the feelings are overwhelming. Journal about it.

    Accept that there will be negative and positives, good days, and slower, heavier days. Working with a like-minded group of folks in a group where folks are up to the same goals or similar circumstances might help too.

    In closing, remember that grief is a normal part of being human, even in the context of job and careers. There is no shame in it. There is a new chapter trying to emerge. Keep looking for the possibilities instead of focusing on what you are leaving behind. Keep moving forward.

    *Your Criteria for Happiness is one of the modules/chapters of our Now What?® 90 Day to a New Life Direction book, online course and one on one coaching.
  • INTEGRITY – Does Your Work Have It?

    INTEGRITY – Does Your Work Have It?

    Let me catch you before you head in the wrong direction.

    This is not a post lecturing you on honesty and character in the workplace.
    No.
    Not at all.

    The direction I want to point you in is understanding integrity in the context of wholeness.

    If a structure had no foundational integrity, it would fail. If your life has no foundational integrity, it will be very, very messy, and likely, dramatic. If your work has no integrity, it’s not aligned with who you are.

    The past year of Pandemic Living has revealed many fissures in the infrastructure our lives and shined a spotlight on work/careers whether you got to keep your job or not. It either gave you time to think or time to be in very close quarters with issues you were either ignoring or didn’t know were there.

    If you are sitting with a set of discoveries, none too comforting, then you may feel out of sorts.

    How do you get back into integrity?

    Rubik's Cube and integrity in your workGetting to wholeness requires telling the truth. It’s not easy to take a good, hard look at yourself and what has brought you to this point, but there is no escaping it. The truth will be your ticket to the other side whatever challenge you are facing now.

    The steps are simple but require inner work to battle back the logic that tells you it’s not possible to make a change:
    1. Face the truth of what’s keeping you from integrity
    2. Name what’s missing
    3. Keep experimenting with what you have (resume/background), and want like playing with a Rubik’s Cube (OK maybe something not that difficult) so that
    4. you hit that moment when it clicks, the colors line up and the cube (and you) are WHOLE and in full INTEGRITY.

    Three recent clients in my private practice have brought this integrity dilemma to our work as we contracted for me to help them gain clarity on their next career iteration. All three in hefty careers, all three knowing their industries no longer fit them. Who they are (what they want, value, need) was no longer aligned with what their industries contributed to the world, and they didn’t know what else they could do or be successfully employed at.

    From the polluting side of energy to the sustainability side, from legal doldrums to an exciting and creative use of that skill set in the arts world and the seemingly happy kids’ clothes world to something (yet named, new client) that does not create as much waste and horrible working conditions for factory workers.

    These are the kind of journeys back to integrity and wholeness I and the facilitators at Now What? Coaching takes people on from all walks of life.

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  • Tips, Tricks and Truths to Working from Home

    Tips, Tricks and Truths to Working from Home

    Tips, Tricks and Truths to Working from HomeSummer is winding down as school, work and life tries to find normalcy in a changed world. As someone who has worked from home since the 90’s evolving from a sliver of space in my bedroom in the apartment I shared with my boyfriend (now 27-year husband) to having the bigger of our two home offices with three college-age kids under our roof, I’m devoting this issue to those of you who might be in varied stages of sharing your space.

    I can relate to your pain, but we have to cope and find our way.

    Here are some TRUTHS to remember:

    • Distractions are REAL and CONVENIENT (choose wisely).
    • HOME chores can wait (don’t use them to procrastinate, extra points for multi-tasking that doesn’t disrupt your work).
    • COMPROMISE will have to become your middle name.
    • WORK will take over your life like THE BLOB (make rules and set boundaries).
    • CHILDREN will take over your life like THE BLOB (they are capable of more than you ask of them).
    • PEOPLE WHO HOMESCHOOL (pre-COVID), do not do so six hours a day. 2-3 hours tops! (don’t stress and know that distance learning for six hours is unrealistic for most kids but especially elementary school and middle school).
    • LIFE IS NOT FAIR (just a reminder).
    Here are some TIPS to consider:
    • DO what you DREAD MOST first (do the hardest thing first).
    • ASK for meeting agendas (or provide them) so your time is not wasted.
    • CREATE a space for each worker/student in your home (even if you are just in separate corners).
    • DETERMINE DAILY SCHEDULES in concert with all household member (even young kids) There is less conflict when everyone knows in advance what is going on.
    • DETERMINE who needs one-on-one time to perform best and who doesn’t (your team members or kids).
    • GET ALONE time for a few minutes a day even if it means waking earlier.
    Here are some TRICKS to try:
    • AUTOMATE what you can (grocery delivery, workflow, use your technology)
    • Have kids EARN screen time or other privileges that used to be a given (delegate those chores!)
    • INCLUDE younger kids in your work (can they make copies, write a legal argument or presentation? (just to keep them busy, not for reals, silly! My daughter wrote a book when she was six while I was writing mine—gave me gaps of time to work!)
    • MULTI-TASK your down time. Yes, we all deserve to just turn off and do nothing or watch TV, but we can also fold laundry, sew on a button, pay bills or some of the other chores that don’t need to happen during the workday.

    This is no picnic but how soon we’ll be back to “normal” is anybody’s guess. We may find some new ways of working and doing school that will transcend COVID time and become a good thing in the long run.

    I have no doubt you are creative and resourceful. I hope these ideas help.

    P.S. I’ve avoided suggesting too many things that require high costs. I know there are people hiring their own teacher in a pod or paying for all in-home services or deliveries. Not all have those avenues available. Where can you join forces with someone who could use more help? How do we find solutions that work for everybody?

  • Strip Away Your Past – Reinvent Your Future

    Pun intended!

    Here’s how one woman changed everything to follow a new career path that better suited her.

    How to Reinvent Yourself at Any Age

  • Shifting Gears to Fulfill a Childhood Dream

    No role models.
    No expectation to even go to college.
    A dream beaten out of him.

    And yet, this dream did not entirely disappear, and now this man is able to say, “Finally, I am free of this, and I can go after something I’ve always wanted.”

    Shifting Gears to Fulfill a Childhood Dream

    Car mechanic shifts gears, becomes a doctor at age 47 and helps address shortage of black doctors